Alas, Poor Josephine
Josephine Tey, that is. How could she have known that, decades after she waltzed lightly off this mortal coil, a cantankerous old man would be taking liberties and making a mockery of her surname for cheap laughs. Well, fortunately for me, I have no shame and as she's long dead, she can't sue me for libel or slander. Art!
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| He's just drowned some puppies |
Say hello to Richard III, last of the Plantagenets, and the subject matter of Josephine's last novel, "The Daughter of Time". Her hero Inspector Grant has been immobilised with a broken leg, and in a fit of boredom, picks up a picture of Ol' Dick, deciding to investigate the mystery of the Princes In The Tower.
Here an aside. Yes already! TPIT refers to two princes who were actually the legitimate heirs to the throne. Art!
Their Uncle Dick had different plans and had them locked up in the luxuriously-appointed Tower of London, whilst he took the throne. Later on, they mysteriously vanished, never to be seen again, whilst Ol' Dick was out of town. ANYWAY Your Humble Scribe is making careful notes as he reads the book, because that's a lot easier than going back and taking notes as I am with Josie's "The Man In The Queue". It was written in 1951, you see, and there are certain mentions that need clarifying for the contemporary audience. 'Laud's Liturgy' for example. You what? Ecclesiastical, doubtless, yet how, and what, exactly?
For your illumination, it was a prayer book composed in 1637 in Scotland, which had a spin put upon it by Archbishop Laud that the scandalised worshippers felt was - ah - 'Popish'. Catholicism, you see, was regarded with an enormous amount of suspicion and downright hostility in This Sceptred Isle, because Catholics owed fealty to the Pope, not the King. Another thing in both novels is the British five-pound note, which existed in a completely different form from that it manifests in today. Art!
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| Sternly majestic |
In TMITQ an amount of fivers was supplied by a party with a guilty conscience, and, bearing in mind that this is 1929, £250 is seen as an enormous amount of money. Of course - obviously! - these were the days when you could go out on a Friday night, drink yourself insensible, have a fish supper, get a taxi home and still have change from a shilling.
Josie also mentions a 'Guichet' several times, which baffled Conrad until he Googled it. The old gal was being faintly pretentious, because it means a ticket office. Well, now we all know more than we did five minutes ago.
Motley! I demand you manufacture a veeblefetzer made out of Sprong. Quickly now!
Like A Troubled Water's Bridge
Ha! Do you see what - O you do. This bridge crosses the border of four countries in Africa, and it's curvy shape is because it also skirts the border of Zimbabwe, who would be most offended if they actually trespassed in concrete. Hence thsi item's title, which is closer to the truth than not. It links Botswana and Zambia, crossing over Mozambique and the Democratic Republic of Congo.
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| The Kazungula Bridge |
What you might call a Bendy Border Bridge. If you look closely you can see a puny human for scale.
Conrad: Frothing With An Excoriating Rage
As per usual. When colleagues in the office as me of a morning how I am, the response is always 'Furiously angry' and, if they bother to ask why, Your Humble scribe explains that he'll find a reason in a minute, two if pushed. First Bus usually features to the fore in my scarlet-tinged vision. As do Codeword solutions that cross the boundary of fairness. As evidence -
"STET": What? What's this when it's at home? Collins Concise, elucidate!
"A mark or sign indicating that certain deleted typeset is to be retained" ah yes I see WHAT, ARE WE ALL PRINTORS AND EDITORS NOW! 'Stet'! I'll give you Stet, matey <long swear inserted here> and you can Stet that. Art!
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| Annotated in blood |
"OVARIAN": This is the adjective from the noun "OVARY", which itself is an abridged, edited and blue-pencilled version of "MADAM BOVARY" don't bother to Stet that, Conrad - CC defines the latter as "One of the two female reproductive organs, which produce ova and secrete oestrogen hormones.
WHAT, ARE WE ALL OF A SUDDEN GYNAECOLOGISTS NOW?
Bah! Art!
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| I do not care enough to chastise Art. |
"AEGIS": Have they had this one before? I cannot recall, but it's a selection on my Google, so it's possible. That won't stop me ranting and tanting however. O noes! Conrad was aware of it as a missile system - Art!
Riiiiiiiiiiight. Looks complicated. ANYWAY it is defined by my CC as "Sponsorship or protection" and is derived from Greek mythology, where Aegis was the shield of Zeus. So yes, you can see why the South Canadians chose it as a name.
Okay, I think that's quite enough of putting my blood pressure at risk of exploding every vein in my body.
"The Sea Of Sand"
Aaaaand we get into the story itself, after the rather downbeat Prologue. Don't forget this features the Fourth Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith. And the aliens arrive later. For the moment, we begin in June of 1940. Chin Chin!
Makan Al-Jinni
Bartolomei/Templeman Expedition
Campsite
June 10th 1940
Roger Llewellyn emerged from his
stuffy canvas tent into the morning sun, already feeling gritty and hot, his
eyelids assaulted by the glare. Brushing
his wayward hair away from his eyes and hastily donning sunglasses, he waved a
greeting to Professor Templeman, who was already up and arguing with Ben
Cherif, loudly.
‘Good
morning, Mister Lewlin,’ said Cherif, in his guttural English, ever
polite. The Egyptian couldn’t quite
manage to pronounce the graduate’s surname but tried gamely every day.
‘You’ll
wake the others, Professor,’ warned Roger, casting an eye over the other
tents. Still asleep. The French members of the expedition hadn’t
been working with any commitment in the past few days, not that he could blame
them. The war news from France, heard on
the camp’s radio set, was bad: the Germans
had broken through at Sedan, rolling up the French Army, and the British
Expeditionary Force was being pressed back in the north.
‘Good!’
said Professor Templeman, typically intolerant and abrupt. ‘That’ll teach them to lie in. And we need them even more, now.’
Roger
cocked an eyebrow, uneasily aware that he could predict what the Professor was
going to say.
‘Don’t
tell me – Al-Hassan has vanished?’
Cherif
nodded gravely, without speaking.
‘Doubtless
clutching a collection of booty,’ commented the Professor. ‘Again!’
Yes yes yes, we'll get to the dramatic time-travel stuff in good time.
Finally -
We only need a short item here to hit the Adjusted Compositional Ton - don't forget, I've added in my own long-form so the total has to hit 1,200 - so what can we idly speculate on? Don't worry, nothing to do with Dimya and his 'Special' Military Operation. I wonder if I can come up with another insulting nickname for him? That has to be SFW, of course <thinks>
'Steroid Scoffing Shorty'? Perhaps more as a description that nickname.
'Vlad The Inhaler' - one presumes he huffs his drugs, but Conrad is no doctor.
'Putin On The Fritz' - that would make more sense to our South Canadian readers, who use 'Fritz' to describe an artefact not working properly. I like this one! Art?
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| "After fifty-seven vodkas, Dimya tried to focus. 'Tried' being the operative word." |
