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Monday 2 May 2022

Safety First. Or Was It Last?

Is There A Harold Lloyd Film Out There With This As A Title?

Quite possibly.  Shall we Google for it?  O go on then.  Art!



     Well well Joan Blondel.  Conrad's retentive memory scores a hit, which is always a wonder as my memory has all the organisation of a skip, and a skip that's been picked up and juggled by a Transformer before being dropped from height.

     As Conrad recalls, Harold was doing his own stunts in the above film, which was also carried out at height.  You can't see them, because they were deliberately out of shot, but there were safety nets below his precarious perching, just in case.  When filming finished they dropped a mannequin onto one of them, just to see what would happen, you know, morbid curiousity being a human trait.  It bounced straight off and fell to the street a hundred feet below.

     ANYWAY Conrad has to relate a tale from one of the interminable Reddit Youtube channels that he is Dog Buns! addicted to.  Art!

First aid kits

     The top one is a Ruffian FAK, the lower a Ukrainian, and you can tell how seriously the Ruffians take the lives of their soldiers from this.  The Ruffian dog lead might be a tourniquet, or a garrotte if you're really seriously in

     ANYWAY Original Poster said there had been a safety audit in his South Canadian workplace, resulting in the discovery of empty first aid kits and missing fire extinguishers.  A request was put in to replace these as soon as possible, at which point the 'unofficial' workplace boss Mrs. B. said no.  I think we all know what that 'B' stands for, gentle readers!



     OP then contacts his neighbour, who was a Fire Inspector for the city.  The Fire Inspector made a surprise inspection, and informed Mrs. B. that she needed to acquire fire extinguishers INSTANTER.

     Mrs. B. said no, and was extremely rude about it.

     You may be ahead of me here, but doing this to a Fire Inspector is A DOG BUNS! MISTAKE.  You realllllly do not want to mess with these people.  As Mrs. B. discovered 15 minutes later, when she was being removed from the building in handcuffs by the police.  The whole of OP's building was shut down for two days until they could be fire compliant.  Mrs. B. was fired, the business was fined, the official boss took early retirement - O and Mrs. B. was also sued.

     Moral of the story: a Fire Inspector is a horrible Hector.

Warned you

     Motley, time to pour petrol on the bonfire and barbecue a sausage or two!


Bah, that BBC links page is still refusing to load.  I shall have to do creative myself!


Bring Me A Bucket Of Popcorn

O joy unabated!  Further evidence of Conrad being a terrible human being, the BBC have turned on Comments about a ballfoot game between Manchester In The City (sp?) and Leads (sp?), where MITC won by four 'goals' to none - stop me if I get too technical for you - and there are thousands of comments.  Let us post an example:

Comment posted by Rich, at 19:35 30 Apr

Liverpool win - media can't get enough. Over the top hyperbole. City win.....oh well. Not much on that. The media love in with the Liverpool is sickening bias.

     This is a constant allegation, that the BBC loves Team X, except Team X is always different in these threads.  Conrad honestly doesn't care, since he only reads these HYS for the citric comments.  Such as those which allege VAR - a video assist to the referees - is biased in favour of Liverplod, and that they consistently cheat.  Hmmmmmm.  Art!

This is about Conrad's level


Were I To Say 'Bok' -

You could be forgiven for thinking Conrad was referring to that premier dramamentary series 'Doctor Who', because -

Bok

     One of the designer's offspring kept the prop and put it atop their bedroom wardrobe, far braver than Conrad.

     ANYWAY you would be wrong, because I am referring to the Bok Telescope, a South Canadian astronomical instrument named after Bart Bok, him being an astronomer himself, based in Arizona.  Art!

Bok atop a rock

     The observatory houses a 90 inch telescope, which has the capacity for direct human observation of the heavens.  This would be all fine and dandy in a feeble 9 inch telescope, but is unusual in one of this size.  Art!

Telescope with puny human for scale


"Tormentor" Some More

We are very close to the end, I promise.

After that, Louis couldn’t get to sleep.  He sat on the settee and reviewed the past few weeks, silent until the sun started to come up.

               ‘Symbolic,’ said Yvonne, pointing it out. 

               He went to stand at the window, drawing the curtains on a new day.

               ‘Very symbolic.  Hey, you don’t need to hang around.’

               Yvonne shook her head.

               ‘Oh but I do,’ she sighed, coming to stand by him.  ‘Thanks to bond-and-bind.  All day yesterday when I was away from you I got an endless tugging feeling.’

               ‘Indigestion,’ he joked, then felt bad.  ‘Sorry.  Well, I guess you are now officially a classroom assistant.’

               ‘Only in term-time,’ she shot back.  ‘Holidays you and I will be hunting monsters.  I guess you are now officially an exorcist’s  assistant.’

               Louis shrugged.  Fait accomplit.  Better accept what you got, McMahon, because it ain’t going away, and neither is your spirit bodyguard.

               ‘Tell you what,’ he said, putting a companionable arm around her shoulder.  ‘You make me a cuppa and I’ll set the DVD to record Corrie, just for you.

               Yvonne beamed.

               ‘Deal!  See, you have mellowed a little.’

               Another shrug.

               ‘Not mellowed – changed.  I see the bigger picture now.’

     AND WE'RE DONE!  Thanks for being patient if you've read this far.  It really could have done with a sequel, don't you think?  Maybe when I'm redundant and don't have to work over a hot keyboard eight hours per day.


Finally -

Yeah, that bit of BOOJUM! where Conrad exercises his mind and meditates on matters military as regards what's going on in Ukraine right now.  For all that it may be fascinating to military historians and wargamers, it's a gigantic humanitarian tragedy with no end in sight.  Having said that -


     As you probably understand by now, Phase One of the conflict is over.  The Ruffian Thunder Run on Kiev failed dismally, thus the Ruffians have now railed all their troops from the north over to the east, where they are trying, without much success, to take the Donbas; this is Phase Two.  The Ukes have now been resupplied with Sinister-era kit from Poland and Czechia, replacing everything that they've lost, and because it's kit they're familiar with, it can go into service straight away.

     Phase Three will be when NATO-standard kit starts to arrive at the front lines, because the Ukes have to be trained in it's use first, as it will be totally unfamiliar to them.  We are talking about things like the Leopard 2, the Flakpanzer Gepard and the Feldhaubitzer 2000.  Also the M777 howitzer, which can reach into Ruffia itself with rocket-assisted projectiles when fired from Ukrainian territory.  So there is a window of vulnerability whilst the Ukes get trained up on this stuff.  Art!


     NATO equipment like this utterly trumps the Ruffians poorly-designed, badly-maintained and ineptly-operated gear, which their generals must realise.  The race is on.



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