Sētdienas Skatiens Atpaka

Which Is, Of Course - Obviously! - Latvian For 'Sunday's Sternward Glance'

For today is - and you may be ahead of me here - Sunday.

     I want to start out with possibly the worst photo ever taken of Donold Judas Trump.  Art!

     I dubbed this one 'The Snarling Walnut' and love it so much that I've been copying it into the blog on numerous occasions, whereas normally I post a photo once and move on.  Conrad is unsure where it originates from, as it was posted on the hell-platform Twitter by 'NAFOviking', the Norwegian chap.  I doubt it was published in any media since the Sweaty Swollen Saggy Senile Sepia Sackbutt would sue them for $10 billion.

     ANYWAY let us get the links underway.

2025

BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say 'Gigant' -

2024

BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say "O'Connor"

2023

BOOJUM!: Overweening Ambition

2022

BOOJUM!: Well That Snowballed

2021

BOOJUM!: When HD Did Not Mean 'High Definition'

2020

BOOJUM!: The Drugs May Work -

2019

BOOJUM!: A Three-Way Split

2018

BOOJUM!: Bring On The Even Bigger Guns

2017

BOOJUM!: James Brooke Bond

2016

BOOJUM!: The Walking Dead

2015

BOOJUM!: Sorry, You Honour, I Have No Idea

2014

BOOJUM!: Chelsea. No, Not That Chelsea!

2013

BOOJUM!: The weekend beckons

Is It Revenge -

Fate, Or A Guardian Angel With Anger Management Issues?

If a person is negatively affected without their victim having to do anything?  I'm not sure which of those three categories above would apply.  Let us start with a few cinematic examples of school bullies getting their bottom served to them on a silver platter.  Art!

     The kid to port is wearing dark glasses and carrying a cane because he's blind.  Does that remind you of anyone?  Correct: 'Daredevil'.  He's Matt Murdoch, and the three bottomholes facing off against him are about to learn a very painful lesson.  Art!

     The chap to port ends up being tripped by Matt's cane and takes a fall severe enough to cause concussion; the chap to starboard hits the metal full face on, although his fall is broken by all the trash-bags.

     There's no debate here; Matt exacted revenge.  Art!

     Blondie The Bully knocks over victim's pencils, then breaks one.  Enter Jason. Art!

     To port is Jason's arm, giving Colt Wallace (a.k.a. Blondie The Bully) a violent push away from victim Billy Cranston, then delivering a telling bitch-slap.  I looked up the scene and it's from 'Power Rangers' 2017 reboot, so I've just watched a clip from a film I wouldn't normally bother with.

     Once again, there's no doubt about Jason delivering revenge.  Art!

     Furious teacher breaks up a fight.  Guess who's getting bullied?  Yup, the small dude.  Small, yet with determination.  Later that day - Art!

     If I told you that Small Dude is Michael Myers, would you be surprised to know that he beats said bully (Wesley Rhodes) - you may be ahead of me here - to death?  For Lo! this is Rob Zombie's 2007 remake of 'Halloween'.  A most definitive case of revenge - actually make that Revenge.  No question about it.

     Now, we come to the meat of the matter, for I have long had a Comment saved in Word, taken from a 'Pro-Revenge' Youtube Reddit tale.  It was too short to be a whole Intro in itself, hence the above WHICH IS EXPLICATION NOT PADDING thank you very much.  

     Wowsers, look what came up on my Youtube Shorts collection.  Is this coincidence or is the universe trying to tell me something?  It could use Gmail instead, it would be quicker and less ambiguous.  Art!

     This is one of those 'Twilight Zone' episodes they ran occasionally, where they were going for Funny not Frightening.  Let me dig - ah yes it's called 'Mr. Bevis' and was an unsuccessful attempt to back-door a light comedy show.  Art!

Angel guardians?

     ANYWAY now that we've introduced the concept of a guardian angel, allow me to continue with the Comment story.  Unfortunately I edited out the Commenter's name and didn't copy the link to the revenge story.  You'll just have to trust me.  Don't worry, I have an honest face*.

     So, Overseen By Guardian Angel With Anger Management Issues, hereafter OBGAWAMI (it rhymes with 'origami') detailed what had befallen those who acted against him with malice aforethought.

     Firstly, the school bullies.  We're not told what level of school was involved so I'll just imagine High School.  OBGAWAMI had three principal bullies.  Art!

     They all died violent deaths.  One committed unaliving themselves, one in an industrial accident that we are not told the details of, and one was homeless and living on the streets when they were hit by a car and killed.

     Wowsers, three for three.
     Next, there was his violent and abusive father, who had tormented both OBGAWAMI and his mother for years.  He suffered a debilitating stroke and died a few weeks later and was not mourned.

     His mother's cousin, whom we will dub 'The Vulture' and who was a person of low morals with thieving tendencies, then appeared on the scene and claimed to be the partner of Dead Dad.  OBGAWAMI also believes that she helped Dead Dad to reach that condition by giving the Grim Reaper a bit of a hand.  Art!

     So she stole any inheritance OBGAWAMI might have gotten.  The Vulture may have been gloating at this point, which is most unwise - remember the three bullies?  It turned out Dead Dad's house was not merely mortgaged, it was triple mortgaged and she lost it when the banks foreclosed.

     Two years later she died of leukemia.  Hmmm.  Five for five.

     Then there was his toxic boss, hereafter Tobo, whom took a personal dislike of OBGAWAMI, which increased over time to the point that they fired him a week before Christmas.

     Most unwise.  MOST UNWISE!

     Both Tobo's parents died within the next twelve months.  Art!

     Almost exactly a year later, Tobo was sacked from OBGAWAMI's old company.
     As I conjectured in the title, is this revenge, fate or that GA with attitude, considering OBGAWAMI didn't lift a finger to get back at people?

Fire That Sub-Editor!

In our latest instalment of 'Donold Trump Is Falling Apart (But Not Fast Enough)' I bring you another ghastly photo of Pig Daddy.  Art!

     80 going on 90.  Also a quote from an item on my newsfeed.

"The US leader has shown both physical and metal symptoms such as swelling of his ankles, bruising on his hands and an apparent forgetfulness."

     I bet King Piggy would love to be described as having 'metal symptoms' as it makes him sound O so hard.  Art!

     Okay, I listened to this vlog by David, and he's not suggesting that Trump will ever actually quit the Presidency, because then his immunity to prosecution will vanish.  What he's suggesting that DJ Tango will 'quiet quit', doing as little presidential work as possible, living at Mar-a-Largo as frequently as possible, and delegating everything to 'Judge Death' Vance**.  Grumpy Trumpy has always enjoyed the trappings of President, all the pomp and ceremony, but hates all the boring admin work it involves, and will be even less motivated to do it.  Then there is the uphill battle of trying to get legislation passed against a Democratic controlled Congress - for two more years, an exhausting prospect.  Art!

You What?

Once again that newsfeed is throwing up wobblers and oddities.  Take this one, for example.  Art!

     Iron Maiden have rather passed me by, as I was never keen on them and don't own any of their music.  They do have a brand of beer, as I recall - Art!

     Nope, never tried it.  They're still brewing it, so come of you are still human SORRY WRONG FILM buying it in enough quantities to make a profit.

Number 9 On That List Of Books Dealing With Classical Civilisation

Okay, the title for this one is "Nero: The End Of A Dynasty" published in 1984.  Daisy Dunn, the scholar writing these reviews, said that this is a MUST-read if you have any interest in finding out what Nero was really like.  Art!

     The author, Miriam T. Griffin, analyses the historical data about Nero, rather than relying on historians such as Suetonius or Tacitus, who paint a very dark picture of the emperor.  One rather suspects they were seeking to get patronage or endorsement from their political masters, rendering Nero as an outright villain.  There's an interesting comparison with Oliver Cromwell's campaign in Ireland, which we've covered before; no contemporary mention of any atrocities, which only come into play when King Charles II takes over.

     'Iconoclastic' is the word I was looking for.

     Look how good I am at not buying this book <wallet smiles happily>.

     Although I do need to trawl Abebooks for the original Fifties copies of 'The War In The Mediterranean And Middle East' <wallet squeaks in anguish>.

Finally -

I only need a short item here to hit the Count, so - Art!

     They have a very small number of these airframes, about 30, of which only 10 will be available for action.  They are hand-assembled (!) which means annual construction numbers do not exceed 10, a lot of components were sanctioned, their engines are an old model, India withdrew from the joint construction program and they are hideously expensive - at least $35 million per and possibly as high as $150 million per.  Thus they are kept well away from Ukraine as losing one would probably enrage Charlie Chipmunk Cheeks.

And with that we are done!

*  This may be a lie.

**  Do not ever shake this man's hand!

A Blast From The Past

To Be Precise, Almost Two And A Half Years Ago

On the first of June 2024, Your Humble Scribe posted a blog titled "A Popular History Of ROBOT WARFARE!" which I then immediately admitted was a lie, as I'd just made the title up and had almost nothing to write.  I did put up a picture of the 'Unitron', an autonomous armoured fighting vehicle from "Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons".  It was effing terrifying.  Art!

     Not only a massive gun capable of elevating 90º and engaging aircraft, but twin flamethrowers.  Conrad is unsure how they got the flamethrowers to work, but the scale model is dangerous in it's own right.

     ANYWAY that was, quite understandably, what robot warfare looked like in 1968.  It was a fair assumption but when I published my blog in 2024, things were about to change.  Rather than heavy metal monsters, in came drone warfare, pioneered by Ukraine.  Instead of having a $10 million super-tank, they instead chose to produce 200 mid-range drones.  Art!

Fire Point One with puny human for scale

     The FP1 and FP have been continuously upgraded and now have a range of up to 2,500 kilometres, rendering all of European Ruffia and most of Asian Ruffia within range.  Nobody saw that coming in June 2024!  They've come a long way from re-purposing light aircraft for long range strikes.  Art!

     The orcs now take them so seriously that they have 17 SAM systems defending their Geran factory at Alabuga.

     Then there's the Magura naval drone.  Art!

     There you have an early variant with puny human for scale.  The versions used now have armour plate, making them even more difficult to stop, and they frequently sport heavy machine guns or SAMs, meaning orc helicopters are now at risk of being shot down if they try to intercept.

     Both types of drones have forced the orcs to abandon Sevastopol, their naval jewel in the crown, since it's now much too dangerous for what's left of the Black Sea Fleet to stay there.  Art!

Droid TW 12.7

     Conrad has dubbed this the 'Killer Wheelbarrow'.  Yes, compared to the Unitron it's tiny.  That's not the point.  The KW does not need food or water, it does not sleep, it shrugs off excessive cold or heat, it has no morale problems and that M2 machine gun can kill at a mile distance and stop anything that's not armoured.  Art!

     At many points in the Grey Zone it's too dangerous for men to carry supplies into position or transport them by truck.  Ergo, another kind of Unmanned Ground Vehicle, one that carries supplies without having to risk squishy human beings.  The wags operating these vehicles use the onboard horn to toot greetings to Hom. Sap. passing by.  Art!

     This was the first time it had been done, and the process has been repeated, in sectors where the orcs have too many drones to risk a vehicle or helicopter for what is called 'casevac' for 'casualty evacuation'.  Not only does it save a life, it boosts morale for anyone in the Grey Zone, knowing a Kozaky drone will lift them out if needed.  Art!

     You are now looking at the 'Maul' UGV drone, used for casevac.  To give a sense of scale, it's over 7 PROUD IMPERIAL feet long and can carry up to 440 PROUD IMPERIAL pounds, which is necessary as some of the Kozaky infantry look like three dockers welded together.  The evacuee sits inside the armoured interior and can survive anything but a direct hit.  Art!

     The generic quadcopter using fibre-optic cable for communication, mounting an explosive charge on top.  Fibre-optic means the signal from drone to operator cannot be spoofed or jammed, and the length of cable has grown from 3 kilometers up to 30 kilometers.  This is why the Grey Zone is up to 50 kilometers across, and since the Kozaky produce them by the million, why it is so very dangerous to try and cross.  Art!

     The 'ground vehicle' was a Killer Wheelbarrow, and it proceeded to brass up an orc outpost, although it's unclear if it was occupied.  Another innovative first.

     Ending this Intro on a rather grim note, Robert 'Magyar' Brovdi, head of Ukraine's Unmanned Systems Forces, stated earlier this year that his target was to inflict 50,000 Ruffian casualties per month with his drone arsenal.  Well, the orcs suffered 54,000 casualties in October 2026, a record they must be so, so happy to reach.

     ANYWAY this was supposed to be a preface to more general news about the war in Ukraine, but I don't feel like creating another single item blog.

You're Not Selling It

No!  I am not gloating about the number of MAGA merchandise shops closing down - there were 20 and now there are 16 - but rather at a brand that - well, a picture is better.  Art!

Conrad not persuaded

     For your information, a 'bilge' is 'The parts of a vessel between the lowermost floorboards and the bottom' thank you CCED.  This is where 'bilge water' collects, which is stinking stagnant water polluted by oil, fuel, grease and lubricants.  Art!

     No thanks.

What A Load Of Ballrooms

Okay, I have yet to comment in depth on the South Canadian mid-term elections, apart from going - Art!

     - at Pig Daddy and his circle of sycophants.  Donold Judas Trump appears to be dealing with the absolute shellacking his party got by -

     Completely ignoring it.

     On Wednesday, Trump was holding a presser, and let me quote journalist John Stoehr: "While previous presidents acknowledged defeat, and their own role in it, Trump denied having anything to do with the wipeout and chose to spend Wednesday giving reporters a tour of ballroom construction, as if he had not just seen Americans reject the open corruption that new ballroom construction represents."

     DJ Tango kept braying before the elections that voters ought to 'Pretend I'm on the ballot'.  Well, they did, and now he's avoiding both accountability and reality.  Expect two more years of him trying to rename everything he can.  Art!

Asleep or dead?  Only you can tell!

      Another thing Stoehr floats is Droopy resigning before he gets impeached, thus not dragging down the Wizard Lizard Gizzard party with him.  If that happens - a verrrrry big ask! - Vance will immediately pardon him, BUT that cannot prevent federal-level criminal cases being brought against him.  Also -

     Another pundit weighing in.  The prospect of two years of investigations and stonewalled legislation means - he might do it.  I've yet to watch David's vlog so will let you what his take is.  Art!

Another Har Har! Moment

If you are a regular reader then you will know that Conrad has always had his thunderbolts out for Russell Brand, whom I cannot stand and detest with the utmost vim.

     If you're a foreign reader you may not have heard the news, so I shall attach an illo.  Art!

     May you enjoy the life you deserve.

     NB When I take over he's still going down the uranium mines in a thong.

Back To That List Of 20 Books On Classical Civilisation

My palms are sweating with the effort to not buy any of these works,  sweating I tell you.  This is Number 10.  Art!

Published 2015

     For a book on ancient Rome to become a NYT bestseller hints that it's something special, and the blurb describes it as an 'instant classic'.  It's about the earliest days of Roman monarchs in 753 BC to the Emperor Caracalla in 212 AD, which is quite a span.  I have heard of Ol' Carry, and also Catiline, whom the blurb also mentions: "The Catiline Conspiracy" is a book title I remember, but not what Ol' Catty got up to.  Nothing savoury, I suspect.

Finally -

Finishing with a Biercism.

'Coward, n: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.'

Proliferation

Nothing To Do With Those Religious Bafunes

CAUTION! ANOTHER SINGLE BLOG ITEM!

Looking at my 'Collins Concise English Dictionary' (every home should have one) the source of this word is, inevitably, Latin <spit hack> from 'Proles' meaning 'Offspring' and 'Ferres' meaning 'To bear'.  Thus, to increase and grow in number.

     Why do I begin with a bit of Latin?  O I thought you'd never ask - Art!

'A Twisted Scream Of Terror Was Just The Beginning'  O no it Dog Buns wasn't, it begins with a meeting in the White House!  The Penguin book's cover art doesn't seem to have been credited, a shameful omission as this is one of the most striking ones out there.

Because, gentle reader, we are going to do a deep dive on both those novels, looking at the background to the respective nuclear Armageddons that take place.  Conrad at his hair-splitting best.  Note that 'On The Beach' was published in 1957, and 'Swan Song' in 1987, a whole generation apart.

     Where does 'proliferation' come in?  Well, in nuclear weapons parlance, there is both 'horizontal proliferation' and 'vertical proliferation'.  The first term means that the nuclear players are increasing weapons stockpiles, and in the second that more players are joining the nuclear club, which currently stands at nine: South Canada, Mordorvia, This Sceptred Isle, the M8s, Israel, The Populous Dictatorship, the Norks, Pakistan and India.  This number might increase shortly as nations on Mordorvia's borders arm up.  Art!

Unremittingly bleak.  No happy ending.

     I remember reading a character in this novel complaining that one reason nuclear war broke out was the proliferation of nuclear weapons across the globe, which were ridiculously cheap to purchase - I seem to remember £50,000 being mentioned.  To underline this, was breaks out when Albania - a postage stamp of a nation - attacks Israel.  Any world that has a nuclear-armed Albania is asking for trouble, and it gets it.  Egypt attacks South Canada.  This Sceptred Isle attacks Egypt.  War breaks out between NATO and the Warsaw Pact (the Sinister Union's vassals in Eastern Europe), and also between The Sinister Union and The Populous Dictatorship.  This is quite prescient of Mr Shoot - SORRY Mr Shute as the big split between the two communist dictatorships was still four years away in real life when OTB was published.  Art!

     Ol' Shute gives out the metric that 4,000 cobalt and 'superbombs' had been used in the short war.  Conrad suspects that he means 'thermonuclear' when he says 'super' as they were just coming into use after extensive tests.  Art!

Early days.  The Mark 17, which would have detonated in the hangar if dropped.

     Later in the novel a submarine passes into the dead Northern hemisphere to check on radiation levels.  Surprise surprise, they have not decreased in the few years since the war ended.  Well, no, because a cobalt-salted nuclear warhead leaves an irradiated zone that takes AT LEAST 50 years to become tolerable.

     ANYWAY I think this is going to be another Single Item Blog, as we're now 500 words in from a single written paragraph.  Erk.

     Well now, onto 'Swan Song' and the military background invented by Bob.

     Jumping ahead, on page 31 the character Josh is watching scary news broadcasts and thinks to himself about no political leaders bothering to communicate by phone.  Possibly an after the fact gloss by Bob to cover up the novel's absence of any use of the Moscow-Washington hotline created for brink-of-the-abyss situations.  Art!

The one ring tone you don't want to hear

     Ol' Bob fills in backstory about the end of the war in Afghanistan, which in real life had another two years to run until the Sinisters left.  Apparently the war there had ended with extensive use of nerve gas and tactical nuclear weapons; Bob skilfully avoids mentioning who was using these weapons.  The implication is that use of nukes immediately lowered the nuclear threshold, since one week after that war ends, a 12.5 kiloton device detonates in a Beirut apartment block, levelling the city and killing half the population.  Art!

     Again, grimly prescient of the 2020 ammonium nitrate blast that caused widespread devastation and killed hundreds.  Bob keeps silent about whomever did it.

     Then, out of nowhere except the author's intention to prove how unstable the world is, India attacks Pakistan with chemical weapons.  Feasible in 1987 as India didn't yet have nuclear weapons yet.  Pakistan replies with an escalation; a nuclear missile that vapourises Jaipur.  The Indian response indicates that the year is a lot later than 1987, since they level Karachi with three nuclear missiles.  Art!

     You think that's bad?  On the Second of April of 19whatever, Iran launches a wave of Soviet-supplied missiles at Iraq.

     Um, nope.  The Sinisters were extraordinarily cagey about their nuclear weapons and refused to export them to anyone, neutral or friendly.  Fidel Castro yarked at them for years about needing and wanting nuclear missiles for Cuba and the answer was always a loud 'NO'.  So I'm not buying that plot point.

     The nuclear threshold is getting dangerously low at this point.  To quote "The smallest of countries were depleting their treasuries to buy chemical and nuclear weapons from the arms brokers.'

     I may be overthinking this - a sin I commit on a regular basis - but wouldn't the UN and various other organisations be acting to prevent this arms trade?

     ANYWAY AGAIN the Fiat complex in Milan is nuked, with no mention of how large the yield was.  Art!

The complex, with puny cars for scale

     Courtesy of the terrorist group Red Star Of Freedom.  Way to go, chaps, detonating a nuclear weapon in the middle of a densely-populated city.

     Quoting again: "The arms dealers had sold a crude, unstable nuclear technology to Third World nations and mad-dog leaders thirsting for power in the seductive and precarious global arena."

     The dodgy arms brokers again!  Yah boo hiss!

     "Twelve-kiloton bombs, roughly the strength of the device that destroyed Hiroshima, were now as common as hand grenades and could be carried in a briefcase."

     Um, nope.  Bob appears to be conflating two different things; a bomb that would fit into a briefcase and the South Canadian 'Special Atomic Demolition Munition' that we have mentioned in these electronic pages often in the past.   The Sinisters also claimed to have their own variant, the RA115.  Art!

     That's the only picture I could find.  They fitted into a suitcase but their maximum yield was 2 kilotons, not 12, and there is doubt as to whether they ever existed.  20 years ago some Ruffian security pundits were claiming that dozens were missing from arsenals, worried that the Taliban or ISIS might get hold of them.  None of them have ever turned up, which is another reason for doubting they ever existed.  Plus, a nuclear device that small requires constant and regular  maintenance to remain functional; any still on the loose will be totally inert by now.  Art!

     Here is the incontrovertible SADM, which definitely did exist.  As you can see from the backpack it was carried in, calling it a 'suitcase' bomb isn't at all accurate, unless you mean a steamer trunk.  They also weighed 70 PROUD IMPERIAL pounds, meaning you'd be hefting 5 stone of weapon.  Yield capable of being varied from 0.05 kilotons to 0.150 kilotons, a mere fraction of what Ol' Bob maintains.

    Perhaps I am overthinking this.  Also, I have read far too much about nuclear weapons.

The End.

Wet Wednesday Morning

 A Bit Of A Novelty Today

Especially as this might be appearing before your orbs on Friday morning.

      So, I dug up a short story I wrote at least a decade ago, with the title 'Wet Wednesday Morning', a somewhat odd story about alien invasion.  So, I'm going to post it as the Intro today.

     O!  Written in 2003.

Wet Wednesday Morning

Cold.  Wet.  Midweek.  Usual dull drive to work.  Nothing happening, except car radio says UFOs have landed in park.  Which park?  Who knows.  Factual accuracy not mainstay of commercial radio.  Dismal DJ squawking about end of world.  Might consider suffering same to get rid of DJs.

          Traffic lights on red.  Jets overhead.  Jets overhead really low.  Loud bangs from direction Heaton Park.  Pillars of smoke.  No more jets visible.  Flown away?   Blown away?  No use relying on idiot DJ to discover.  DJ now praying (DJ trendy atheist until today).

          Take Junction 14 turn-off.  Not much traffic on slip-road today.  Realise slip-road joins A557, which runs past Heaton Park.  Brief worry.  Rationalise killer aliens from Alpha Centauri have better things to do than fry passing motorists.

            Car engine misfiring.  Driving prognostication not good.  Engine dies.  Realise killer aliens from Alpha Centauri may, indeed, relish frying passing motorists. 

            Five minutes later.  Not fried.  Engine still dead however.  Not travelling anywhere by car this morning.  Only twenty minutes left to get to work.  Curse Alpha Centaurans for fiendish engine-killing technology.  Start to walk.  May arrive only half hour late if move smartish.

            Big mistake.  Alpha Centaurans like to zero in on pedestrians.  UFO from direction Heaton Park zooms overhead, hits self with mysterious Alien Ray Beam.  Mysterious Alien Ray Beam carries self over road, park railings, park, and dumps self in field.

            Take stock of surroundings.  Milling mass of ex-pedestrians.  Large empty field.  No barriers.  Run for it.

            Correction: no visible barriers.  Run into Mysterious Alien Force Field after several seconds.  Wake up minutes later.  Pedestrians watching with interest.  Rub large bruise on temple.  Curse Alpha Centaurans for fiendish invisible force field technology. 

Wander around.  Bang head again.  Realise inscrutable alien plan to subdivide large arena into smaller ones.  Finish in pocket arena with sleepy-eyed woman.  With freckles.  Doubtless aliens want us as breeding stock. Worse fates possible - sleepy-eyed woman has nice figure, attractive face.  Seems wary of self.

            ‘Is there any way out of here?’ asks sleepy-eyed woman.  ‘They got me while I was walking along Blackley New Road.’

            Explain aliens are undoubtedly watching and listening to us.  She needs to whisper if communicating.  Near-silence is golden.  She nods. Explain about hideous alien breeding plans.  She frowns.  Hastily change subject to aliens; has she seen same?

            Negative.  Not sure if subject changed quickly enough.  Sleepy-eyed female moves into far corner of invisible cell.  Body language not good.  Mention alien’s may be using sinister mind-control technology.  Sleepy-eyed female convinced, introduces self as “Marie”. 

            Speculate on alien ways and means.  Long monologue.   Actually very long monologue.   Marie apparently impressed.  ‘You’re not from something like the SAS, are you?’  Disabuse her.  ‘Oh. “Green and Branchflower Retail Security Services.”  Typical alpha male.  I won’t hold my breath, then.’  Contemplate describing typical day watching Homo Sapiens imitate Homo Cretinus.  Decide not.  Rack brains for means to defeat UFO invasion.  Brains not up to task.  Go to sleep.

            Woken in small hours.  Not natural awakening.  Huge silver alien looms over self.  Brief panic.  “Brief” meaning “intense”.

            After underwear change, alien takes self to mothership.  Huge.  Spacious.  Silvery.  Aliens keen on 50’s sci-fi imagery, apparently.  Cause or effect?  Post replies to S. Speilberg, c/o Amblin, California, USA.

            Marched into Olympic-sized hall.  Even huger silver alien waiting.  Fear imminent death by casseroling.

            ‘Greetings, human,’ says extra-big alien.  ‘The Alpha Centaurans are taking up strategic positions across Earth.  We are about to conquer your world.  What have you to say about that?’

            Have plenty to say.  Fear saying might lead to atomic vapourisation.  Bite bullet, seize day, carpe diem, go for broke.

            Returned to pocket arena several hours later.  Huge silver alien not keen to stay and force hideous breeding plan into operation.  Marie awakes briefly to observe self arriving from alien UFO.

            Shortly before dawn, UFO leaves.  Distant luminous streaks on horizon indicate other UFO’s also leaving.  Invisible force field gone.  Marie quite pleased; hugging and kissing pleased.

            ‘They’ve gone!’ she shouts.  Explain had noticed same.  ‘They left right after you came out of the mothership,’ she continues.  Nod in agreement.  ‘Did you do something to them?’  Shrug in hopefully nonchalant manner.  More information drawn out by Marie. 

            Explained had told huger alien of imperial history here on Earth.  Seems huge aliens on first ever mission of conquest.  Played somewhat fast-and-loose with truth.  Gave example: British Empire.  Big fat world-spanning empire; subject countries acquired knowledge plus politics plus ambition from Britain.  Empire goes soft.  End result revolution.  Empire falls apart.  Previous imperial subjects claim compensation from Britain.  Immigration.  Social strife.  Similar story with Soviet Empire.  Also Mayan, Hittite and Seljuk Empires.

            Aliens surprisingly gullible.  

     There you go!

Exoplanet Report

Art!

     If you follow the blog with any regularity, you'll know that we are keen on the subject of exoplanets - planets beyond the solar system.  Prior to 1996 we had no idea if the Solar System was unique or typical.  Then observation systems began to confirm that gas giant planets were plentiful across the galaxy and with better techniques and technology, we discovered that super-Earths and smaller rocky planets were also numerous.  

     Then comes the determination: does said rocky planet have an atmosphere?  Because without one there is no chance life will develop.

     Hom. Sap. proves how clever it is with detection methodology.  Art!

     Okay, the next test is to use the James Webb Space Telescope to determine if there's water in the atmosphere.  However - that inevitable word again - look at those atmosphere temperatures: 5,900 degrees Kelvin.  That's three times the temperature of molten steel.  Aliens quite unlikely.

Number 11

In that list of 20 books on the classical world you need to read.  Art!

     The author of this item, Daisy Dunn, nominated this work which dates from 1973, making it more than 50 years old, so it must be good.  She bigs up, to use a technical term, of the Macedonians torching of Xerxes palace at Persepolis.  Arson as art?  

     Conrad seems to recall Michael Wood, mentioned in the blog yesteryon, did a series about Alexander on television, and ended up in Iran, following his footsteps.  He encountered a street performer, who put on a one-man show about how evil and awful Alexander was - the perspective from the Persian side.

Just A Bit Of A Gloat

Conrad is not going to go into any detail about the results of the South Canadian mid-term elections, as that's an item for a different day.  Suffice it to say that The Orange Landwhale got the pushback his demented corruption truly earned, and here's another terrible photo of the Snarling Walnut.  Art!

Saggy and droopy

     The pundit 'David Pakman' commented on Trump's last televised broadcast before the elections, which concentrated on - waitforitwaitforit - the reflecting pool and a pavement.  Art!

     Just what the South Canadian electorate want to hear about, hmmm?  This is what happens when your President has mashed potato for brains, and not even made with cream and butter either.

Dedication

If you follow the blog with any regularity you'll know that we follow 'Jake Broe'  on Youtube, whom is one of the go-to vloggers for unbiased news about the war in Ukraine.  As a six-year Air Force veteran you might expect him to be conservative but he loathes the Trump administration with a burning passion. 

     This is Jake at the start of his livestream - which ran for nearly 3 hours.  He must have felt validated after the first hour or so when results started racking up.  Art!

     Jake usually puts himself through the emotional wringer in his vlogs as he abjectly apologises for the Trump administration; he might not have to do this any further, poor chap.

Finally -

I have an idea for a comparison between 'Swan Song' and 'On The Beach' that needs a bit of digging and annotating.  Back later!