Ha!

I've Just Checked Next Week's Schedule

Which is LOUD CHEERING IN THE BACKGROUND the Sensible one, 09:00 - 17:00, for which small mercy we are truly thankful.  I do miss the one Friday in eight when we clocked off at two or three in the afternoon, which schedule is utter anathema to our Manager's Manager, who insists everyone finishes at 17:00.  Art!

     I think this work schedule must be South Canadian, they only get Sunday off.

     ANYWAY enough boring wibble about work, time to trawl teh Interwebz of yesteryon and find out what Conrad was fulminating about over a decade ago.

2025

BOOJUM!: Time Ravel

2024

BOOJUM!: In Support Of Niche And Nerdy

2023

BOOJUM!: Money Funny Money

2022

BOOJUM!: The Return Of The Hair-Splitting Pedant!

2021

BOOJUM!: Only Welsh Can Save Us Now!

2020

BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say "Big Rig" -

2019

BOOJUM!: Well That's The Upper Storey Safe

2018

BOOJUM!: Well Well - Wait - What The Hell?

2017

BOOJUM!: Clerihew!

2016

BOOJUM!: Conrad Versus The ATOMIC DEATH SALSA!

2015

BOOJUM!: Why, Dick Why?

2014

BOOJUM!: "And This, Too, Shall Pass Away"

If I Were To Say 'The Mechanic'

You Might Conflate Or Confuse My Meaning

First of all, a dinosaur like Conrad might be talking about a 1972 film called 'The Mechanic', starring Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent, which I have seen, ages ago.  Art!

     It's an interesting if uneven film.  Bishop, the professional assassin working for a secret, un-named criminal organisation, lives alone on a diet of anti-depressants thanks to the emotional toll the job takes on him.  He hires a call girl to fake a romance with him and By Wild Coincidence, Bronson's wife Jill Ireland got the part.  Eventually he takes on Steve, the ruthless and ambitious son of his boss, as an apprentice mechanic.  'Mechanic' in this sense being an euphemism for a hitman or assassin.

     I won't spoil the ending, just point out that it had a typically bleak Seventies vibe to it.

     OR I could be talking about the 2011 remake, starring Jason 'The Stath' Statham and Ben Foster, which I believe I've also seen, once again ages ago.  Art!

     They copy the plot of the original, apart from the ending, which is revealed as a cop-out.  No, I won't spoil it for you.  I cannot remember anything about this remake apart from the very last scene, so it can't have been that great.

     ANYWAY there is also a novel of the same name, treading similar narrative ground, and if Art will put down his bowl of coal - 

     The protagonist, John Tyler, retired from the army 8 years previously, is a single dad to his daughter Lexi, and is working as - you may be ahead of me here - as mechanic, specialising in classic cars.  Then an old enemy from his past resurfaces and he needs to call on his Very Special Skillset.  This is the first in an ongoing series, so Fowler is obviously doing something right.

     ANYWAY AGAIN, the first two above are nothing to do with our real Intro, although the novel is swerving in the right direction.  For Lo! we have another tale about car mechanics, and you're going to be startled at the resolution in this tale, derived from the Comments on a Youtube Reddit post by 'Ripe'.  Art!

     Driver of Automobile Requiring Extensive Servicing, hereafter DARES, was going to drive from Atlanta to Washington DC, a distance of 650 PROUD IMPERIAL MILES and needed his brake pads changing.  He asked his sled-head roommate where to go and was recommended the Firepoint garage in Snelville, Georgia.  Yes, the narrator makes a point of deliberately identifying the garage.  Art!

Close enough

     I am assuming the tale is an old one, as there is no longer a Firepoint in Snellville.  

     After changing the brake pads, the garage mechanics took the car for a test drive, and warned that they needed to pump the brakes repeatedly to get them to function at all.  DARES knew there was an existing problem, since he had to pump the brakes repeatedly when starting his rusty bucket, but the pad change had made it much worse.  Art!

NOT a Macguffin

     The problem was in the brake pump itself (see above), which couldn't be repaired and needed completely replacing because the car was now extremely dangerous to drive.  Conrad, as a driver himself, cannot imagine trying to drive and negotiate traffic with NO BRAKES: your car becomes a metal missile.  The Garage Operative Of Decency, hereafter GOOD, informed that parts and labour would come to $500.

     DARES explained that they were a broke-bottom waiter with only $200 to their name and would just have to live with it.  GOOD must have known of the intent to drive 650 miles without effective brakes, because they immediately looked very concerned.

     'Wait here, I need to speak to my manager' he informed.

     When he came back he had a stark message.  'My manager says we don't want you to die, so we're just going to do it for you. No charge.'

     Thus DARES got $500 worth of parts and labour for free, because GOOD and his manager had a conscience.  Art!

     I bet they got his repeat custom, and good word of mouth spread around, since a garage you can trust not to rip you off is worth sharing about.  A nice life-affirming change from mechanics inflicting death and violence.

 A Interesting Theory

Tim Dillon, a MAGA cult member and pro-Trump podcaster, is having buyer's regret about King Piggy and what demented adventures he's initiating.  Allow me to copy his recent comments:

"He's at the end of his life. He doesn't care about what happens next. That's the thing with Donald Trump, he doesn't really care about what happens next…Trump is just kind of on a farewell tour."

     It can get worse for Donnie Dorko, as his 'Military Combat Operation On Iran That Is Totally Not A War' will have cemented people's minds about him long before the mid-terms in November.

     Here's another unflattering photo of the Boorish Orange Oaf Himself.  Art!

     I know I have christened Viktor Orban the 'Weretoad' but Billy Bonespurs here is running him a close second.

You What?

Once again Your Humble Scribe is baffled at how the algorithms on his MSN news feed page function, if they function at all or simply pick items at random.  Take this one as an example.  Art!

     You may have noticed the complete omission of gardening in Conrad's blogs over the years, as it interests me NOT AT ALL.  Where in the back yard would we put a water feature, especially when we have water featuring all the time as it descends from the skies?

     At least it's not an oscilloscope.

      Dog Buns!  It's there four times!  Art?

     GO VERY FAR AWAY!

Destroying It From The Inside

Conrad has another electronic evisceration to inform about, although given the glacial pace of the South Canadian legal system, no resolution yet.  

     So - a research scientist at Yahoo, one Qian Sang, accepted a job with their direct competitor, The Trade Desk.  Art!

     This was May of 2022, in other words during Covid, which may have some bearing on how long this case is taking to reach judgement.  Sang immediately downloaded 570,000 (!) pages of proprietary Yahoo data on their AdLearn product, including a competitive analysis of TTD, which would have included things like strengths, weaknesses, potential strategies to compete more effectively - similar to a 'battle card'.

     Conrad can see an internal failure at Yahoo already, because it took them weeks to realise Sang had stolen over half a million pages of information, let alone allowing him to copy that much information in the first place.  Can you say 'Data Protection Breach'?  Because this wasn't just a batch of e-mails.  The theft involved:

source code, backend advertising architecture, algorithms that control ad placement and associated earnings tracking … and strategy behind Yahoo’s backend advertising technology

      The most recent information on the case, where Yahoo are suing for $5 million in damages, dates from April 2025, almost a year ago.  So, apparently, no resolution yet - again, possibly due to a Covid-created backlog.

I Am Going To Cheat Here

First of all, by copying and pasting an intro put up on Twitter by 'ChrisO_wiki', who usually posts long, multiple Tweets, and this one has 21 items to it.  Art!

Znamenyi Island

A superpower invades a small island off the coast of an enemy nation. After a short bombardment, marines seize and hold the island. 126 days later, they stage a humiliating retreat under constant fire from the mainland. This is the story of Ukraine's Snake Island.

     Conrad is pretty sure someone out there is going to put this out as a hex-and-counter board wargame, the ghouls.

     ANYWAY I've Bookmarked it for later perusal, and also note that it includes an analysis of the situation of Kharg Island in the Gulf of Hormuz.

Finally -

Another quote from my QI Banter book.

"The only really good thing about acting in movies is that there's no heavy lifting."  - Cary Grant.

Thank You 'Thought Time'

Which Is The Name Allotted To Taking Edna On Trotties

Principally because there are no distractions in terms of books, comics, DVDs, Codewords, Cryptic Crosswords, remaindered food needing to be consumed before it turns toxic and explodes or that Pagoda Five SASCREW team tramping across the roof.  

MAKE SURE YOU WEAR SOFT SOLES!

     Thus, I observed - I know because they leave bootprints in the snow - a taxi being driven into Woodland Park, which we here at The Mansion know as 'The loop' as that's just what it is.  Art!

The loop in question

     Which got me thinking - always a worrying issue - about whether 'Taxiing' is the only common word in English with two 'i's not at the end.  I mean, there are CROCII, GENII and RADII, but they're not exactly in common usage.

     Which, of course - obviously! - led me to wonder about the word TAXI itself.  Get ready for a lesson in some French.  Art!

The hay-munching variant

     This is a French fiacre, a four-wheeled horse carriage which was hired out by customers, and which had a 'Taximetre' mechanism installed, which calculated the payment, or 'Tax', per 0.6 miles (or kilometre if we have to use the horrid metric term),.  They were in existence long before the internal combustion engine and motor vehicles came into play.  Art!

The petrol-swilling variant

     This is the British taxi-cab, as they came to be known.  Allow me to boost the Word Count and use my Christmas present: "A car, usually fitted with a taximeter, that may be hired, along with the driver, to carry passengers to any specified destination."  This led to the existence of 'TAXI RANK' also known as a 'CAB RANK', where taxis would queue to be hired.  Heaviest usage Friday and Saturday nights.

     Back to the 'Collins Concise English Dictionary' and I'm delighted to see the word 'TAXIING' present.  Once again: 'To cause an aircraft to move along the ground under it's own power, especially before takeoff and after landing.'  Art!

     That's Ginger, flying the Polikarpov biplane, shooting down a Nationalist aircraft.  There's a lot to unpack here that I'm not going to unpack - aren't I a stinker! - because I remember a scene from the novel, where Ginger has stated to the Glaswegian Jock McLannock, a pilot in the Republican air force, that he, too, is a pilot.  They take a plane out onto the taxiway ("A marked path along which aircraft taxi to or from a runway, parking area, etc.") and Jock begrudgingly admits, on the taxiing alone, that Ginger is indeed an accomplished pilot.

     ANYWAY whilst still on the subject of taxis and aircraft, we have the Brylcreem Boys 'CAB RANK' of later Second Unpleasantness.  This was an array of fighter-bombers stooging around the battlefield at 10,000 feet,  loaded for bear and waiting to be called down upon hapless Teuton stubble-hoppers by a Forward Air Controller.  Art!

Someone downstairs is in for a very, very bad time

     With that internecine guff out of the way, let us look at TAXI in the field of entertainment, which is what I originally intended this Intro to be about, instead of diverting off on a dozen different tangents.  Sue me if you want.  Art!

     Conrad has never seen an episode, only occasional clips, which means my judgement on how good or bad it was is a little skewed.  It did last for five seasons and win Emmys, so it was doing something right.  You may recognise the cast above: Judd Hirsch, Danny de Vito, Marilu Henner, Tony Danza, Andy Kaufman, Christopher Lloyd and Randall Carver.  Of whom some went on to bigger and better things.  Not Randall, they wrote him out after the first season.

Art!

This gawky 14-year old is Vanessa Paradis, who had unwonted fame and success with - you may be ahead of me here - "Joe Le Taxi", a song about - you may be ahead of me here again - a taxi driver.  Not a fiacre in sight.  Here's a Comment from Youtube. 

@Sonny-y7c

5 months ago

i was 17 when heard this song for the first time. loved it. now i am 53. how time flies sooo fast.

     Tempus fugit, mate, tempus fugit.

     If you've been following the blog for any length of time, you'll also be aware of Conrad's love for 'Taxi Driver', which is nothing to do with the Robert de Niro film - an excellent if grim early outing for Martin Scorsese - and everything to do with Korean television series.  Art!

Now you know the Hangul for 'Taxi Driver'

     The premise is interesting: a philanthropic billionaire gives people who have been wickedly wronged a chance at revenge/justice/mercy <delete where applicable>.  If they choose Option 3, nothing happens.  If they choose Option 1 or 2, then his organisation, operating a taxi service as a front, swings into action.  Their team consists of the morally ambiguous business owner, Jang Sung-Chul; mechanics and artificers Choi Kyung-Ku and Park Jin-Eon; accomplished hacker Ahn Go-Eun; and whipcord lean ex-707 Special Mission Group Kim Do-G, their enforcer.  Art!

     That's Kim. attaching the battering ram the mechanics designed, to his luxury taxi.  He can batter anything less than a tank off the road with minimal paint scratches, and put it back into the boot with no tools needed.

     I could go on, as the taxi and it's driver are iconic across the globe, but I feel like holding back for a later blog.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Whoops, long Intro, let's wheel on some images quick smart.  Art!

Speaking Of Korea -

In order to make room in the fridge, Your Humble Scribe heated up the 'Bento Wasabi Korean Fire Chicken' and ate it last night.  Merely licking the fork I stirred it with incurred spicy distress, so I emptied what was left of the sour cream into it.  Art!

     It was STILL Dog Buns hot, to the point that eating it was a challenge over mouth-melting meat magma, or the bin.  Conrad, greedy scoffer that I am, managed to finish it off.  Rather to my surprise, my insides are fine.

Pink Pupper Place Provided

     Edna in her fluffy pink dog nest, as she's a female dog.  The 'B' word is not allowed to apply to her.  Since the rest of the clan have returned, Conrad is packing up his dog-sitting duties, which have not been that onerous, to be honest.  Venturing forth into wind and rain for trotties has been the worst of it.

Talk About Timely, Coincidental And Apt

Conrad was looking at his news items to see if any had hideous depictions of Donnie Dorko looking as if he was ten minutes past his appointment with The Grim Reaper.  What did I find?  Art!

     I know nothing about this so allow me to dig a little.  

     Aha.  So, a music festival featuring artists I've never heard of - allow me - 

Arapu, Chaos In The CBD, Priku, Us Two, NTS tastemaker Moxie

     - which was advertised and promoted as being in 'Greater Manchester' is in fact close to the Welsh border at Bolesworth Castle.  Near Chester.  Which is not Greater Manchester at all.  Art!

     Tickets cost £80, and the minimum cost for a bus ticket back to Manchester - if there are buses running when the festival ends - is another £30.  Or you could book accommodation near Chester, adding another £100 to the cost.  Or you could sell your tickets and not bother going to an event organised by chiselling scammers featuring artists nobody has ever heard of (at least in The Mansion).  

Oooh!  Oooh!  Another One!

As you should surely know by now, BOOJUM! is pretty much the opposite of a fan club for the Saggy Sepia Senile Sackbut, which makes me baffled at all the MAGA cult members who Follow me on Twitter.  Perhaps they are all FSB officer bots, keeping abreast with our satirical takes on life in Mordorvia and creative insults about Putinpot?

     Maybe not.  ANYWAY I have another unflattering photo of Pumpkinhead.  Art!

     He appears to be suffering from a prolapse of the mouth, an image so disgusting I laugh at the fact that you cannot now unsee it.

Finally -

Conrad not recalling any of the 'Falling Skies' second season episodes so far.  Old age and gin taking their toll.

Of CANOE And BONEWIT

Don't Worry, It Will All Make Sense

Unless it doesn't, but it will make a splendid mental exercise until then.  Today's Intro - possibly the whole blog as I took nearly 2 sides of A4 notes - comes from Youtube's 'Ripe' channel and it concerns TREE LAW!  Yes, that old favourite which proves messing about with mature trees can be a very expensive business.  Art!

     Today's tale is told by CAbin Narrating Owning Explicator, CANOE hereafter.  He owned a small cabin on a steeply sloping lot, above the shoreline of the local lake.  The upper bound of his property was delineated by a row of tall pine trees, that also blocked the next house up's view of the lake.  The pines and their root structure, as well as associated shrubbery, were instrumental in preventing soil erosion.  The County - never named by CANOE - also had very strict rules concerning shoreline trees, which could be trimmed but absolutely 110% NOT cut down.  Art!

     Being cautious and prone to documentation, CANOE hired an arborist to assess the pines and was also visited by County Conservation to update their information.  There were three conclusions:

1. The trees were healthy
2. They were preventing erosion
3. They were SHORELINE PROTECTED

     There then arrived BOttomhole NEighbour With Intellect Trouble, hereafter BONEWIT, whom had purchased the neigbouring uphill house.  CANOE described him as a 'walking yacht commercial'.  BONEWIT complained about the pines obstructing his view of the lake, repeatedly, banging on about property values.  Art!

BONEWIT's demesne

    CANOE informs the boorish oaf that cutting the pines down is illegal, thanks to their protected shoreline status, which goes into BONEWIT's left ear and comes out of his right ear without connecting to any grey matter en route.

     Then, fatefully, CANOE has to go on a work trip.

     You Can See Where This Is Going Can't You.

     Yes, when CANOE returned, all the pines and the shrubbery at the edge of his lot had been cut down completely.  There were already signs of water erosion on the slope.  BONEWIT had left a gloating letter about what he'd done on CANOE's property, claiming that he'd improved property values on both lots.  Little did he know.  Art!

     CANOE immediately took photographs of the barren lot, then contacted his previous arborist and the County Conservation officials.  When he informed his insurance company they came out with a line that ought to have terrified BONEWIT, had he heard it: "This sounds like a classic Tree Trespass situation."

     When the arborist arrived, he assessed replacement costs and appraised value for the loss, based on 1)  Shade 2) Privacy 3) Erosion control 4) Windbreak 5) Noise reduction 6) Wildlife habitat.

     The County Conservation officials arrived almost before CANOE ended his phone call, and they were verrrrry unhappy with what was a major breach of the law, possibly leading to fines imposed per tree.

     CANOE gets himself a lawyer and BONEWIT is served with a Notice Of Violation, which he came to CANOE's doorstep to complain about.  CANOE recorded the whole convo and played it back to his lawyer, who must have looked like the cat that ate the canary and the cream.  Art!

An amused attorney

     For why?  Because the recorded conversation proves that 1)  BONEWIT admits he cut the trees down 2) He tried to minimise what he'd done  3)  He tried to shift blame for his actions onto CANOE.  I am not a lawyer but I think BONEWIT just dug himself a huge hole with sides too steep to climb.

     This is not his only problem.  O noes.  You see, the County Conservation officials took legal action, imposing a Restoration Order and charging him for erosion control of the site, with deadlines and fines imposed for failure to complete or complete on time - this was time-critical work that needed to be remedied before the next big storm arrived.  Art!

A big storm, arriving

     Thus the County imposed/inflicted/laughed about the following:

1)  A fine for each pine tree removed

2)  Fines for 'understory clearing' - that is, getting rid of all the shrubbery

3) Paying for a 'retaining structure', that is, a wall on CANOE's property

4)  Funding for a multi-year restoration plan.

     Since this was the County prosecution, CANOE didn't get to know exactly how much BONEWIT had to pay out, only that it was a 'five-figure sum'.  So, at least $10,000 and more probably $50,000 given the extent of the damage inflicted.  Art!

 

     Meanwhile, CANOE's legal case forged ahead.  Initially BONEWIT's lawyer tried to offer a trifling amount, until they were made aware of the County Conservation case and the detailed list of offences BONEWIT had committed.  Then they were a lot more compliant.  The list of CANOE's demands included: Full value of the trees, multiplied by three due to 'Timber Trespass' rules; property compensation; erosion costs; legal fees and engineer and restoration charges.

     BONEWIT went from boasting about how he was going to 'fix that cabin guy' to complaining 'you can't deal with corrupt County administration'.  Under advisement, he capitulated and had to pay CANOE $350,000.  

     It was even more painful when BONEWIT saw the new retaining wall and hedge of trees, which was even higher than the old one.  He shouted at CANOE "Is that even legal?" to which the answer was Most Certainly Yes, and thanks for paying for it.

     This is where the story ends, but Conrad cannot help thinking that a humiliated blowhard like BONEWIT, deprived of his lake view, would sell up and leave rather than be faced with the hard physical evidence of CANOE's victory on a daily basis.

     Well, 927 words so not the whole blog but a fair chunk of it.  Next!

More Gentle Shoeing

O how I will miss the big orange toad when he keels over into his Happy Meal, he's a gift for blog content creators.  Let us lead with another unflattering photograph of BOOH.  Art!

     Modelling the 'Human Guppy' look.  Don't forget, a la John Bolton, that this is Dozy Don at his made-up and coiffed best.  Thankfully we don't get to see his hideous turkey-wattle neck contorted into his collar, a sight you can probably not unsee now, and you're welcome.

     I'm adding to this item as I've just seen 'ChrisO_wiki' on Twitter declaring 'Trump's Razor' - "Let me refer you to Trump's Razor: if all else is equal, the stupidest possible explanation is the most likely."

     He's not wrong.

I May Go Into This Further

It's quiet.  Almost too quiet.  Not here in the Allotment Of Eden, with gale-force winds howling like lost souls outside The Mansion.  No, I'm talking about Mordorvia and the internet blackout there.  This has been in force across the nation and the excuses for it have been changing.  Art!

     The blackout in Barad-Duh affects 13 million orcs, and another 5 million in Saint Petersbug.  They have been told that it's due to external factors, then that it was due to security and terrorism issues, but the smart money is now betting that this is a preventative measure to counter a coup attempt by the army.  Wait until Peskov denies this as proof it's happening.

Good News For Skywatchers

 You may recall a good few weeks ago we here at BOOJUM! mentioned the Artemis II manned lunar fly-by mission, which was tentatively given a March launch date, which had to be postponed due to technical problems.  Art!

     There is a recent update to this, as NASA are aiming for a launch date of April 1st NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK although I note that they used the term 'crewed' as opposed to 'manned' because <shudder> there may be female astronauts aboard.  O the humanity.  Still, nice to see Hom. Sap. going back to the Moon after a 50-year gap.  Weather permitting.

Finally -

Let's finish on a Biercism again.

"Love, n: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

A Short Lesson In Teuton

For Lo! We Are Back On The Details Of Prof Bartov's Work

'Hitler's Army' because I made detailed notes and you're going to get their benefit, like it or not.  Probably not.  

     Okay, onto the short lesson in Teuton.  Since we are dealing with the meat grinder battles of attrition on the Eastern Front during the Second Unpleasantness, I wondered what 'Meat grinder' was in Teuton.  Art!

Sorry.  Couldn't resist*.

     'Fleischwolf'.  Which sounds peculiarly appropriate, since Ruffia now and the Sinister Union then are/were both awash with wolves.

     ANYWAY Ol' Ommy focussed on two contrasting Teuton divisions: one was the extremely bog-standard 12th Infantry Division, the other being the totally not-bog-standard Gross Deutchland regiment, later a division.  We shall look at the 12th first.  Art!

12 Infantry Division symbol

     Like most infantry divisions in the land of the Teutons, it was based on a geographical location, that being Pomerania.  Where the dogs come from.  

     The 12th was no stranger to combat: it had fought in Poland, suffering 900 casualties; it also fought in the battle of France in 1940, although I can't find a specific casualty total.  Let's look at an ideal depiction of a Teuton infantry division pre-Operation Barbarossa.  Art!

     Theoretically it would total 17,200 men and officers, in three infantry regiments, each of three battalions, each of about 1,000 men.  Also, 5,375 horses - so much for the mighty mechanised Wehrmacht, hmmm? - and 942 motor vehicles.  This Table of Organisation and Equipment, TOE, in no way reflects reality, because men would always be off on leave, on training, off sick or injured, or just plain dead.  War will do that.  Art!

     Teuton stubble-hoppers during the beginning of Operation Barbarossa.  Note that, in the Sinister Union, the 'road' is a dirt track and, once again, horsed Teuton transport.

     When the 12th began the invasion, as part of Army Group North, it was at a strength of 14,073 men and 336 officers, so already understrength, probably due to losses in France not being replaced.  By early November each infantry regiment had to dissolve a battalion, as they were not getting replacements.  By 14/12/1941 NOTE PROPER DATE FORMAT their losses amounted to 4,200 men, leaving 11,351 men and 287 officers.  Art!

     The 12th was then unlucky enough to be surrounded by Sinister forces in their 1942 counterattack, in the 'Demyansk Pocket', along with five other divisions, as shown above.  Under siege for 81 days, there are no figures for what 12th Division's losses were, but the total overall for the units in the cauldron was 55,000, so if we average that out, possibly 9,000 casualties as a maximum.  However, read on.

     By April the 12th had suffered so many casualties that it took troops from wherever it could find them, leading to one battalion having soldiers from 17 different units, and 17 companies being led by NCO's instead of officers.  

     We now have definite figures for losses in May 1942: 9,272 men and 341 officers, so 6,000 men down from establishment.  By August the losses reached 10,897.  Ol' Ommy gives a flavour of how intense the fighting along Army Group North's front was: During December 1942 one regiment, reduced to a third of it's nominal strength (793 men), lost 614 men.  The 12th's 'Sturm Battalion' was left with 36 men and one officer or 5% of it's original roll.  Art!

"This holiday abroad is s-"

     Once again not getting any replacements, the 12th was shunted to the Lovat River front, where it's strength had fallen to 4,822 men and 171 officers.  You might wonder why the Teutons kept this skeleton force in existence, rather than split it up and redistribute it amongst other formations.

The Lovat River then and now

     Because Herr Schickelgruber was convinced that keeping these skeleton divisions around would fool the Sinisters every time.  Hint: it didn't.

     ANYWAY AGAIN there the 12th sat for over a year until June of 1944, until it was completely destroyed in the Sinister's Operation Bagration.  

      This long, sorry tale of woe in warfare comes down to the Teutons underestimating the Sinisters, whom they knew to be tough opponents going back to the eighteenth century, and overestimating themselves.  Also, it proves that  'Bewegungskrieg' (as the Teutons actually called it) tended to have very high casualties whilst in progress.  These unpleasant facts were camouflaged during short campaigns but came into harsh focus for the endless war in the East.

     We didn't even get to deal with Gross Deutchland.  Maybe tomorrow.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Remember Mister Jimmy?

The grizzled hard-as-nails process worker whom manglement tried to replace and sack, and whom ended up costing them at least a million dollars.  This was because the business had run out of the electronic control modules that Jimmy and Jimmy alone could make, they were up against deadlines and had to accede to the ex-owners flat statement that they paid him a seven-figure number to come back and train a batch of new ECM workers.  Art!

     PEN, the narrator, mentioned in his original tale that the new manglement might have broken the law and that he'd update if there was any more news.

     There was more news.  As Jimmy put it in rather saltier language, "Those <very rude swear redacted> didn't know who they were dealing with, they sure as <another redaction> do now."

     Manglement realised things had gone badly wrong when the workers tried to unionise, which failed but lit a fuse under the management staff.  They restructured and things improved considerably, sufficient for Jimmy to return, BUT he had conditions.  O boy did he have conditions.  Art!

     Jimmy wanted two of the problematic higher-ups gone, which had also been the position of a lot of other workers as well.  Two weeks after he came back they were walked out  of the plant by security and warned never to return - see above for corroboration.

What's This?

Allow me to put up an illo that just caught my eye on the BBC website.  Art!

     I am unfamiliar with 'Hozier' - possibly a Canuckistanian? - or Jessie Buckley, but a dinosaur like myself actually possesses a CD or two by Brucie.

     ANYWAY what I was surprised at was that MacGowan was dead, firstly because it would be hard to distinguish between him alive or deceased, and secondly the news of his demise three years ago completely passed me by.  Art!

     How he outlived Kirsty McColl is a mystery for the ages.  You know, the other half of their duet on "A Fairytale Of New York", the best and most unseasonal Christmas song ever.  Art!

     Since the song is a perennial favourite at Yuletide, he must have made a mint in residuals and royalties over the decades, which explains how he could afford to get his pegs fixed.

Ewwwww!

Conrad, as we all know, is the world's biggest coward, all the more so about anything to do with his eyes, which squeamishness made for an icky moment last night as I was watching 'Falling Skies'.  Art!

     This unappealing little beggar is an alien 'eye worm'.  The backstory is that Tom Mason deliberately gave himself up to the aliens in order to ensure his son Ben was no longer affected by the remnants of an alien harness that had been plugged into his spinal column.

     Well, Tom brought back an extra guest - the above worm, in his left eyeball.  Doctor Glass has to remove it with tweezers - Art!

     Yuck a duck.  They restrain him but you get the perspective of his feet thrashing around, hinting that this might, just possibly, be a painful experience.

     The question of what was it doing and are there any more? is left open to speculation.

Finally -

Ending with another pearl of poison wit from Ambrose, here we are:

"Army, n: A class of non-producers who defend the nation by devouring everything likely to tempt an enemy to invade."

*  I think this translates as "Revenge against the Ukrainians!" and "I didn't realise -"