Don't Applaud At My Clever PunConrad is pretty certain he's nicked it from 'Catweazle', that comedy drama about a Medieval wizard zapped into the modern age, who has to learn to deal with flush toilets and 'tellingbones', the poor rascal.
ANYWAY I am venturing forth on another Youtube Reddit saga, this one gleaned from 'Dark Fluff', whom reads the stories himself and adds his own citric commentary to them as a coda. So, once again, I'm not sure if I'll have enough to create a proper full-length Intro. We shall see. Art!
This, gentle reader, is a water heater, used - you may be ahead of me here - to heat water in large quantities. To work it needs to be plumbed and wired in. So, Water Heater Owner SEller, hereafter WHOSE, had an old yet serviceable water heater he wanted to sell online for $150. He was contacted by Landscaping Owner & Unscrupulous Twod, hereafter LOUT - do you see what I did there? - who offered $100 cash, which was accepted. Art!
Er - thanks, AI Art Generator. I think. WHOSE gets a call two weeks later from LOUT saying the the water heater doesn't work, so he offers a refund or to repair if costs are under $100. Not so fast, says LOUT: I've paid $400 to get it repaired, which you are going to reimburse or I'll get debt collectors involved. WHOSE promptly caves - for shame! - and wires the money, sending an e-mail confirmation. LOUT, thoroughly enjoying his bullying and scamming, responds with another e-mail: "This is the price you sometimes have to pay when selling second hand electronics. Have a great day, don't let this hold you back." Art!
Here we enter the Land Of Wild Coincidence, as a month later WHOSE is carousing in a bar and hears a bright young thing regaling her table with talk of how her boss, who owns a landscaping business, swindled a man selling a water heater. Ears swivelling like radar dishes, WHOSE joins her group and hears how LOUT had bought a defunct water heater for $25, then ripping off WHOSE for the money to repair it and selling it on at a profit. Art!
COVID intervened before WHOSE could track down LOUT and murder him to death, which is a good thing as it was only $400 not, O I don't know $15,000 EVER SO SLIGHTLY FORESHADOWING for example. 18 months later WHOSE is checking out the website where he sold the water heater, no mention of what it was so perhaps Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. Wild Coincidence strikes again: he sees a listing of second hand landscaping gear being sold by none other than LOUT, such as shovels, external lights and - Art!
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| As old and decrepit as Conrad |
A portable generator. An obviously aged and highly decrepit generator. Friend And WHOSE Narrator, hereafter FAWN, informs the readers that, to sell a generator, one needs a 'Warrant Of Fitness' which guarantees that the unit is in fit and safe condition. If this is not provided in the sale of a generator within two weeks of purchase, the sale is void, the purchaser has to be refunded and the authorities will fine the vendor. Stick a pin in this sentence. WHOSE turns up at the landscaping business and agrees to buy the generator for $800, which they then take to an electrician for professional assessment and repair estimates.
"It would be cheaper to buy a new generator - this generator shouldn't have been sold, it should have been scrapped," was his opinion. He also pointed out LOUT had destroyed the unit's serial number - but had missed a second one on the interior. Art!
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What it ought to have been
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FAWN relates how WHOSE got in touch with LOUT, saying that it would cost - get this! - $5,000 to repair the unit. LOUT, you will be shocked to hear, refused to pay a hot cent, until they asked for the generator's Warrant Of Fitness, when he hung up.
WHOSE pesters by e-mails for two weeks, with LOUT only condescending to offer the original $800 back. So, WHOSE reports him to the government, and 4 months later sees them in court. LOUT demands that they drop the case in return for $800, unwilling to admit or unaware that he has no cards in this game.
Shouting, it turns out, is not a viable legal strategy. Especially after the damning testimony from the government inspector, who said the generator wasn't fit for purpose, should never have been sold and failed a WOF five years earlier. Art!
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| LOUT out of luck |
The presiding judge didn't mess about: LOUT was compelled to repay the $800, splash out $5,000 for repairs AND fined $10,000 which would go to WHOSE. Outside the courthouse, LOUT raged at WHOSE, defying the payment and loudly proclaiming that nary a cent would WHOSE see. His riposte? Firstly he brought up the water heater debacle, which LOUT had completely forgotten, possibly because he ripped so may people off in the meantime.
"You'll pay up," cautioned WHOSE, "Or a debt collector will be contacted. Remember, this is the price you sometimes have to pay when selling second hand electronics. Have a great day, don't let this hold you back!"
FAWN doesn't say that LOUT had a stroke out of sheer rage but he must have destroyed several teeth by grinding them together. He paid the $15,000 two days later. WHOSE got the generator repaired, then got a WOF and sold it for $1,000.
Moral of the story: losing 38 times what you ripped someone off for is a bad bargain.
Blimey, that took a lot longer than I expected. We need pictures, stat!
Conrad Turns A Fetching Shade Of Olive Green
By another Wild Coincidence Conrad came across a Youtube video from the 'Australian Armour And Artillery Museum', featuring the dainty and elegant Panzer 38(t). Art!
The sharp-eyed amongst you will have noticed that the hull machine gun has been replaced by a circular plate, for reasons. This vehicle is roadworthy and indeed they take it for a quick drive across the museum floor and back to it's position. Art!
I think they have the turret traversed to keep the gun barrel out of the driver's line of sight. Both tracks have quite a bit of play in them and will need to be tightened if it goes for an outing, or they risk shedding. One wonders if they'd ever consider loaning it to BOVINGTON TANK MUSEUM?
More From Hazegrayart
Ol' Hazy put up another epic CGI animation, doing a modern day montage as an homage to '2001 A Space Odyssey', substituting real or prototype spacecraft. I say 'modern day', when it was actually 7 years ago. Art!
'The Blue Danube' in the background.
'The Blue Danube' in the background.
'The Blue Danube' in the background.
There's the link, and I would encourage you to go view the actual animation, which comes across a lot better in motion and with a soundtrack.
Another 'You What?' Moment
Conrad doesn't really miss his subscription to 'The Daily Beast', and I doubt they miss a single subscriber from over here in The Allotment Of Eden. What I do miss are the bizarre adverts they generated on their webpage, full of items that beggared description from their appearance alone, and which would frequently tempt me into clicking on the link to discover that they were 'Golf Divot Repair Devices'. Art!
Looks like a sinister torture device as used by the Nork Secret Police, doesn't it? ANYWAY here is another 'What On Earth?' illo. Art!
Cheap sci-fi tank for a Seventies episode of the BBC's premier dramamentary, 'Doctor Who'? O and what's this? Art!
ENOUGH WITH THE OSCILLOSCOPES! Nobody here at The Mansion or BOOJUM! is interested in the Dog Buns things, go away, far away and do not come back!
