More Of 'Cart Rubble'

I Checked And Yes, I've Used This One Before

Back in February, with a long preamble about hilarious misinterpretations of common phrases.  There is a word for this, although it isn't in either my 'Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable' nor my 'Collins Concise English Dictionary'.  To what do I refer?  Why, 'Mondegreen', a word coined by Sylvia Wright in 1954.  She had heard the lyrics to a song, which were 'Laid him on the green' that she heard as 'Lady Mondegreen'.

      ANYWAY Art!

     I back-added this one in because Car Trouble is more impactful that a wooden truck hauling builders waste.

Like it says on the tin.  Cart Rubble.

     I have my own Mondegreen story to tell, which I won't labour with here, so have a link instead:

BOOJUM!: If I Were To Say "Baba Yaga"

     ANYWAY AGAIN I have a theme for this Intro of 'Car Trouble', specifically cars that have been overloaded in extremis.  We shall be skipping across three continents, so here's the African entry.  Art!

     The errant driver here was arrested in Nigeria, by the 'Cham Unit Command' of the 'Federal Road Safety Corps', neither of which either you or I knew existed before this very Intro.  His licence had expired.  No! only joking.  He seems to have added another car on top of the lower one, then cunningly camouflaged it with luggage.  You can tell how distressed the suspension is by looking at the rear tyre and comparing it with the front one, which is usually the one to be flatter thanks to bearing the weight of the engine.  Art!

Waldorf, Maryland

     This is one I remembered from 'Snopes', the  myth-busting website.  Yes, it's real, not Photoshopped.  The car was parked in the lot of an 'International House Of Pancakes' and had loaded up at Home Depot next door before a passerby noticed and took this photo.  The store manager at HD had the driver sign a waiver before loading up the car.  Not only is there half a ton of lumber on the roof, there are an additional ten 160 pound bags of cement in the back seat.  The driver was out jogging up and down the pavement whilst his female passenger was zonked out in the front seat, and both, according to witnesses, were off their gourds on Bad Chemicals.  Art!

     There doesn't appear to be any more news about the car or couple, even after doing a bit of Google-fu.  Okay, that was the American component of this Intro.  Art!

     Meet the European entry here.  If the previous two items were down to sheer stupidity and drugs, this one is down to quiet despair.  The picture is from Kyiv, a couple of days ago.  The driver, Pan Mykola, aged 70, had been living in the Donetsk oblast until his wife died, whereupon he moved to Chernihiv.  After four years he decided to move to the city of Uman.  Art!

     Or, 220 PROUD IMPERIAL miles.  Not a mere hop, skip and jump.  He had all his belongings loaded onto or into his car, including his pet dog and 18 (!) chickens in cages.  For the eggs, one suspects.  He got as far as Kyiv and his ancient car gave up the ghost, as you can tell from the bonnet* being up.  

     One thing I cannot represent here is the song being played in the background - a cover of Cherry Ghost's 'People Help The People', a point I explained on the Tweet itself, to several people's appreciation.

     ANYWAY ANYWAY one suspects that, had this happened in Mordorvia, his dog would have been chased away, his chickens stolen and everything not tied down looted.  Not to paint Ukrainians as saints, but the locals contacted the police, who turned up.  Art!

     Tempering justice with mercy, they didn't arrest him or give him a hard time.  No, instead they gave him a tow to the nearest garage.  Art!

     That police car must have a beast of an engine to be able to tow the Travelling Home And Contents.  O and thanks to 'Anton Gerashchenko' for posting this story.  

     The subsequent update had a couple of still shots of Pan Mykola's car at the garage, which the Ukrainians call a 'Repair station'.  Art!

     Dog just visible.  I've enlarged this photo as I missed Fido on a casual look.  He - or she - looks quite settled and comfy.  Art!

     The chariot in all it's overloaded glory, with a couple of mechanic's tools in view.  To prove that they were utterly upstanding chaps, the garage did not charge him anything.  Once repaired, he was able to continue his journey to Uman and arrived safely after another 130 miles of transit.  People helping people indeed.  O do you have a bit of grit in your eye?

     The story isn't finished yet.  Another Tweet from 'Lesya Ukraina' on Twitter - ha! take that Elong Tusk! - continued the tale.  I will just post his Tweet - 

Co-founder of Monobank Oleg Gorokhovsky promised to gift a new car to the man whose video with an old car touched social media. He reported that he has already contacted the man and will hand over a new pickup truck to him.

     It's almost enough to restore my faith in Hom. Sap.

You dodged a bullet there, the original Intro I was slanting for was another on wartime innovation.  It will still come.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Beavis And Butthead Strike Again

I refer, of course - obviously! - to J D Vance and Donnie Dorko.  You can argue between yourselves about which is which.  You see, Just Dismal has been sent to Pakistan to hold negotiations with an Iranian delegation, on how to stop the Special Military Combat Operation and reset everything back to what it was before February 28th.  Art!

     This is after his stopover in Hungary to protest Ukraine's alleged interference in the upcoming election, and promote Orban The Weretoad, the irony of which burns hotter than the heart of the sun.  His spectral presence caused Orban to lose another 3% of the vote.  Art!

     Ol' Turkey Neck again, in another unflattering photo of him.  You'll notice that it's not him doing the negotiating in Pakistan, so if it all goes pear-shaped, he has complete deniability, and if it's a success, he'll swoop in to take all the credit, as is his operating style since the Eighties.

     O and I just came across a complementary news item on my feed, which I will post the thumbnail for.  Art!

    Just Dismal is going to need more than eyeliner to get around this.

Yet Another 'You What?' Moment

I am beginning to see a pattern here, and am wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something.  It would be handier if it could manage a social media post or a postcard, rather than me trying to read goat entrails or tea leaves at the bottom of a cup.  Art!

     The news feed is back to pimping Tektronix again, although this model seems to be different from the other oscilloscope they were pimping previously.  Perhaps my railing against them is being picked up by AI as me wanting yet more oscilloscopery?

I'm Only Here For The Beer

And the gin, too, just to be clear.  Allow me to introduce another bottle of beer purchased because it looked interesting, without regards for taste.  Art!

     'Bacchus Cherry Beer' for those unable to resolve the small print.  Conrad is unsure about a cherry-flavoured beer but it willing to try it once.

I Haven't Covered This Much

So here's a snippet to keep the story simmering.  The Artemis II crew splashed down safely after completing their absolutely historic trans-lunar mission, the first such for 50 years.  Art!

     This time there were four crew - one cannot say 'crewmen' any longer as one was a gel - one is black and one is from Canuckistan, which is a measure of what progress NASA has made in five decades.  Conrad is too classy to go over their toilet arrangements.

Finally -

Glad I took Edna trotties ten minutes ago, the rains have returned.  April weather!

*  NOT THE 'HOOD'.  This is The Hood -

Fired For Sound

No!  This Is Not A Reference To The Album By -

Art!

      I've never heard of them and have no idea what they sound or sounded like, BUT I didn't want to demolish my street cred by beginning with the Cliff Richard album.  Hmmm perhaps their first names were all 'Susan'?

     ANYWAY today's Intro is going to be somewhat technical, for which I make no apologies because long words and scientific concepts exercise your brains.  Or so one can only hope.  It will also focus on big things that go boom, and if you want to skip the martial bit, go ahead BUT I WILL KNOW AND THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.  Just so we're clear.  Art!

      Inspired by a Twitter post on a contemporary take, I was inspired to dig these two tomes out of a pile of books - of course they were on the bottom - and am grateful that they weren't up in the Book Cavern.  Martin's work to port had a verrrry detailed Appendix about the topic, running to five and a half pages of small print, so I've gone with Paddy's more concise work.

    What am I so coyly avoiding a description of?  O I thought you'd never ask!

    Sound-ranging.  Which is - you may be ahead of me here - ranging by sound. 

     Art!

     This is Matania's painting of the Royal Artillery displaying desperate courage in withdrawing their guns at the Battle Of Le Cateau in August 1914.  They lost dozens of guns in a bitter demonstration that modern field artillery's place was most definitely NOT in the field.  Guns were emplaced miles behind the lines on both sides of the battlefield, draped in camouflage to avoid being spotted by airplanes, making sure their muzzle blast didn't create a tell-tale burnt zone.  Art!

     How, then do you locate the Teuton guns when you cannot see them, only hear them? 

     Enter Lieutenant (later Professor) Willie Bragg, a Nobel laureate in 1915 and a man with a keen scientific head on his shoulders.  But of course.  Heads not stored at alternate locations.

     ANYWAY AGAIN Bragg was asked to take over a French sound-ranging kit given to the army that had one slight technical problem: it didn't work.  Could he fix it?  Heck yes!  Art!

     The kit used six microphones to detect the sound of enemy guns firing, which moved a wire inside a galvanometer, which was in turn copied onto film.  The different microphones picked up the sound with an accuracy of 1/00th of a second, a remarkable achievement for 1916.  Art!

     In theory, one could use trigonometry as in the previous picture, and locate the enemy guns solely from their firing signature.  In theory, as remember this kit didn't work.  The French microphones could only detect high-pitched sounds, and if you have ever heard an artillery piece fire - corks, they jolly well don't squeak.

     Bragg showed determination and resolve, but it took until the autumn of 1916 before the microphone problem was beaten.  Art!

     Encapsulated here is a 'Tucker' microphone, using heated platinum wires that picked up low-frequency sounds, just what the doctor ordered.  The performance of the sound-ranging kit improved phenomenally, not only pinpointing the Teuton guns that were firing, but working out their muzzle velocity and calibre.  Forty sound-ranging units were formed, operating well behind British front lines, working best when there was an east wind blowing, and getting to locate Teuton guns as accurately as within 25 PROUD IMPERIAL yards.  For those not up to speed on artillery performance, this is Danger Close for Teuton gun crews.  Art!

     The Teutons knew, from hard experience, that the British had developed an extremely effective sound-location system, but were mystified as to how it operated.  They had only begun to experiment with sound-ranging in late 1918 and never had comparable kit of their own before the war ended.

     Bragg, in his five-page monologue, ends with a gloating order that had been captured from the Teutons, and which was published and circulated to all his sound-ranging troops.  I shall quote it here:

"Group Order

In consequence of an excellent sound-ranging of the English (!), I forbid any battery to fire alone when the whole section is quiet, especially in east wind.  Should there be occasion to fire, the adjoining battery must always be called on, either directly or through the Group, to fire a few rounds."

     Trying to muddy the acoustic waters, to mikes metaphors.

     ANYWAY ANYWAY I hope this impresses you with the sophistication of intellect and technology of one hundred and ten years ago.

     We'll be coming back to this concept.  I bet you can hardly wait.

More Gentle Shoeing

If steel-toecapped boots can ever be gentle, especially when they come in Size 11.  I am going to put up a double image that David Packman posted on Youtube as the thumbnail for his vlog.  Art!

     The one to port is a well-know photo of Donnie Dorko suffering from what seems to be stroke symptoms, unless he's sucking an extremely strong 'Fisherman's Friend'.  If you don't know, they are a British 'sweet' that is ferociously strong, more like medicine than confectionery, Conrad had some back in the Eighties and never again, thanks.  Art!

     The one to starboard looks as if he's totally off his meds and having a seizure, because his Happy Meal was cold.  His derangement is so bad that even the deranged amongst his MAGA cult are criticising him.  Art!

Owens can be described as bat, rat and cat ship crazy

 
     The poster child for buyer's regret.  

     You may not want quite so much of Pumpkinhead on the blog but I have to grab the content before he keels over dead.

Ruffian Play Sheet

1)  Take aim at feet.

2)  Shoot oneself in both feet.

3)  Insert feet in mouth.

4)  Claim all is going according to plan.

     What am I talking about?  O I thought you'd never ask!  Art?

     This is Dennis Shtillerman being interviewed about his past life.  

" In 2007 I developed a concept for automated command systems for Russia's MoD.

Thank God they never implemented it — otherwise everything would have gone very differently. Then the Georgian war started. I understood I had to leave and left."

     Shtillerman is the founder of 'Fire Point Systems'.  Yes, the Ukrainian drone manufacturers who are currently making life hideously unpleasant for the orcs.  How very ironic.

     Since he took part in the Maidan in 2014, the Ruffians stripped him of his citizenship, which he doesn't seem crushed about.

Wait One!

Your Humble Scribe just clicked on a link in my news feed announcing a major 90's Manchester band playing live at the Castlefield Bowl.  Art!

     I didn't recognise them.  They are Puressence, who reunited in 2024 and whom have wowed live audiences.  What also caught my eye was part of the blurb.

Reunited Manchester band Puressence have announced their biggest ever headline show after a triumphant comeback to the live music scene in 2024. And they will be joined by fellow Manc favourites The Chameleons.

     I saw the Chameleons many times in the Eighties and have several of their CD even to this day, and their being there would definitely pique my interest.  I may need to go sample a bit of Puressence on Youtube and see how they sound, to mix a metaphor.

     The gig is in July so three months hence, and no word or where or when tickets go on sale.  I shall keep my eyes peeled.

And On That Theme -

Conrad was suddenly stricken that he'd not seen any publicity for the music festival 'Sounds From The Other City', which usually happens around Easter or later in April.  This is where lots of venues in Salford turn their day over to hosting bands across the whole day and it's a real hoot as long as the weather stays dry.

     I did a bit of Google-fu and - Art!

Finally -

Another QI quote.

"How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when clearly it is Ocean." - Arthur C Clarke.

We Are Living In The Future

 I Keep Saying This

Because it's true, the world keeps jumping several years if not decades into the future before we are ready for it.  I have kept very quiet indeed about the Artemis II mission lunar flyby, as I hope to come back to it with links and tangents, but this is realllly big news not seen for over 50 years.  Art!

     Normally, given the horrid martial content of BOOJUM! you might believe this is an anti-aircraft missile being launched and about to intercept.  Not a  bit of it - this is the Artemis II launch being witnessed from a passenger aboard a commercial passenger airflight en route.  There are four people aboard the speeding fiery glob atop that smoke-trail, whom have an epic mission to accomplish.  Art!

     Unfortunately they have been rather overshadowed by Donnie Dorko going stark raving mad, taking the spotlight off them, which was probably deliberate as he hates not being the focus of attention.

     They had a bit of toilet trouble, which is one of the least appealing things possible in a sealed environment on a multi-day mission.  Conrad recalls one of the Apollo asstronauts describing the hideous sequence of carrying out a bowel movement in microgravity and ha

     ANYWAY back to the future.  Wow, you know, that almost sounds like an album title, sort of Yes circa 1974.  Perhaps Emerson, Lake and Palmer?  Art!

     As advanced as Artemis II may be, here you have the positive acme of Ukrainian drone warfare.  What you're looking at here is an Unmanned Ground Vehicle dubbed 'ULTRA', which is used to deliver Unmanned Aerial Vehicles to hotspots on the front lines.  The squashy Hom. Sap. element is completely removed, so no multi-mullion dollar episodes of derring-do over enemy territory recovering lost pilots.  Ahem.  Art!

     This is the Ruffian port city of Novorossiysk's oil terminal getting an absolute pasting from Ukrainian Firepoint drones, hit at least six times.  In prior days you would have needed cruise or ballistic missiles, or aircraft dropping bombs, to manage this level of damage, all of which are expensive.  What you see above was achieved by drones costing $300,000 in total, or a third of a single missile or one per cent for an aircraft.  That's one of the things that must have responsible orcs tearing their hair out, because these drones are cheap and easy to mass produce, so this damage is going to keep happening.  Art!

     This is the Alchevsk Metallurgical Plant, experiencing Ukrainian kinetic sanctions from Firepoint 2 drones, 60 kilometres from the front lines.  The orcs are now vulnerable at the operational level, far behind the contact line where they might have felt reasonably safe from HIMARS and the like.  Sadly not.  Art!

     
     I feel they used auto-translate on that headline.  This is the 'Bulava', designed to reach well behind front lines in order to mess with Mordorvian logistics, as with the Firepoint 2.  As detailed by 'Artur Rehi' on Twitter, the orc's ability concentrate men and supplies in the rear is now being affected.  Art!

     Orcs are now vulnerable in all the red-shaded areas and utterly lack the means to intercept Ukrainian drone swarms.  Art!

     This would have been science fiction a few years ago.  What you're looking at here is a Ukrainian naval drone of the 'Sea Baby' class, stuffed to the gills with high explosive, and now sporting a heavy machine gun.  It isn't new, but this is the first detailed photo I've seen of this new class of naval drone.  The Ruffians discovered the hard way last year about these new, armed, drones, which shot down a helicopter and badly damaged another.  Before, they were able to get close in to the UNVs and machine gun them until they exploded; not any more.  Art!

     Pay attention to Number 4, 'Syvash'.  Art!

 

     Yes, the Ukrainians pasted it with naval drones and missiles.  Let me quote 'Beefeater' over on Twitter about what Mordorvia was using the Ukrainian platform for:

"The Russians used the platform as a base for deploying equipment for surveillance, communication relay, and installing electronic warfare and short-range air defense systems."

     Losing the platform means less electronic eyes and ears available to the orcs, making it easier for Ukrainian drones to control the Black Sea and attack into Crimea.  Art!

     That's the 'Admiral Grigorovich', a Ruffian frigate in harbour at Novorossiysk, in the sights of a Firepoint 2 drone.  Doing a bit of spectating during a drone strike is, one has to say, a rather dicey proposition and they may have lived to regret it.  

     Just to quantify how much damage these kinetic sanctions have inflicted, anonymous 'Western security officials' stated that $970 million's worth of damage has been done to the Ruffian's Baltic Sea ports, and $200 million of oil has been burned.  Also, no tankers have been able to load for two weeks.  You can't profit from high oil prices if you cannot export your oil.

     This is us, living in the future!

Don't Ask Me, I Have No Idea

I doubt Pumpkinhead has, either.  Art!

     It's April, so this can't be a mad March hare.  Ergo, it must be a rabbit.  Why it's seven feet tall and upstaging Trump I have no idea, apart from finding it very creepy.  Watch out, children - it might be hiding under your bed!

The Comedy Of Errors

I know part of BOOJUM!s charter is to steer clear of politics, but honestly, the farrago unfolding in Hungary at present is irresistible.  You see, there is a General Election being held on April 12th, and the polls are verrrry bad for the Weretoad, Viktor Orban, who is going to end up being Loser Orban.  Art!

     'Trailing' is putting it mildly, he's twenty-two points behind his main competitor, Peter Magyar, whose lead has actually increased.  Art!

     Which has resulted in a series of shenanigans cooked up by Orban and the FSB, who are desperately trying to fiddle a win for him.  First it was them going to set up a fake assassination in order to curry sympathy.  Then it was simple bribery, offering food and drink in return for votes.  Most recently it was a fake bomb plot.  Art!

     Supposedly, the wicked Ukrainians placed a bomb on the Serbian-Hungarian gas pipeline, a claim the Serbs immediately scotched.  In fact Orban's campaign has but one theme: blame Ukraine for everything, which is why there are more posters of Prez Zed in Budapest than there are of Orban.  Also - Art!

     Yes, Donnie Dorko sent that black hole of charisma, J D Vance, to stump for Orban.  Probably because the Weretoad is the only person who makes DJ Tango look slim by comparison, and Putin ordered him to do so.  Rumour has it that every time Vance spoke, Orban lost another 50,000 votes.

     Things are not going well when you get booed at your own political party rallies.  

     Bring your popcorn.

Yet Another 'What On Earth?' Moment

Allow me to post a Snip of an item from Twitter.  Art!

     Who what where why when?  I am guessing that this is a sports item, but that's as far as I get.  Whoever posted it was really leaning heavily on their audience already being clued in.  

The Food Dude

More satire from 'Daractenus', the Romanian wag who took a shot at South Canadian foods that are not allowed to be imported into the EU.  Art!

     Ol' Darry states that the South Canadian fish farmers add artificial astaxanthin, an additive that turns the flesh pink, rather than the normal grey.  Health and safety concerns about this artificial agent means South Canadian farm reared salmon are banned from the EU and the Antipodes.  

Finally - 

Going out with another Bierceism.

"Vote,n: The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country."