Gloria!

No, Nothing To Do With The U2 Song

By tradition, thought, having mentioned it I can now use an image of said shanty in order to perfectly legitimately attract potential viewers, which is totally not clickbaiting in any way.  Art!

 
     From so long ago The Edge had a full head of hair.  The cover illo for the album is great, consideri

     ANYWAY I was actually referring to the Latin <hack spit> word 'Gloria', which my 'Collins Concise English Dictionary' declares to have an obscure origin.  From this Latin root the French came up with 'Glorie', which eventually got transmuted into -

     Glory!

     Art?

     We're only going to be mentioning this tanks to the title, I've only ever seen bit of the whole film.  Doesn't Denzil look rather cross on that poster?  I don't think the Rebs are going to have a good day.

     ANYWAY AGAIN, as is traditional, we need to define exactly what 'Glory' is, viz: "Exaltation, praise or honour, as that accorded by general consent, or something that brings or is worthy of praise."

     As you might expect, with a concept as grandiose as 'Glory' there's a lot of references to it as people variously try to hog or bask in it.  For a start, 'Brewer's' goes on about DOXOLOGY and 'Gloria in Excelsis' which has a suspiciously religious ring to it and no, I'm not going to look up DOXOLOGY, which sounds faintly rude.  Art!

     Well well well, what the Hades.  It's derived from the Greek <spit hack> 'Doxa', which means - 'Glory'.

     Enough of Gloria!  Let us move on to plain old 'Glory', which is also present in 'Brewer's' as the less than wonderful 'GLORY HOLE', which is defined as a small room, box room, small closet or cupboard or similar, where miscellaneous bric-a-brac, flotsam and jetsam, rubbish, keepsakes and mementoes are stored.  A midden, in other words.  Art!

     Erk.  This is what the AI Art Generator thinks a 'midden' is.  Rather unsettling if you ask me.  Then we have -

HAND OF GLORY: Conrad unsure where the glory comes from with this one.  This was the hand of a dead man, preferably one who had been hung, which was severed and soaked in oil, then used by witches for nefarious purposes.  What nefarious purposes?  O I thought you'd never ask!  Art?

     When used by burglars, it would send anyone in the targeted premises into a coma, and automatically unlock any doors it was brandished at, making the theft that much easier, although, once again, entirely lacking in glory.

KNICKERBOCKER GLORY: 'A rich confection consisting of ice cream, jelly, fruit and cream.  It is not clear what connection, if any, it has with KNICERBOCKERS.  Art!

     All of this preamble is but a preamble to the real Intro, which deals with another tranche of 'The Dice Treasures' Top 20 WW1 wargames.  The reason I went on and on about 'Glory' is that it turns up in the title of 5 of these games, (including the next one), which rather disproves General Sherman's opinion of war, and what did he know about it*?

11) "PURSUIT OF GLORY" By GMT Games

Art!

     From the map you can tell that this game concerns the Middle East.  Also the box art, by Roger MacGowan (a staple in the industry!), depicting El Aurens in full desert garb should give you a clue.  From the map itself you can see that this is also one of those box-and-counter games, rather than what I was looking for in hexed version.   The sharper-eyed amongst you will have spotted the inset map and boxes for Gallipoli.  It is card-driven, another count against it, but at least it's not card only. TDT mentions in passing that it concerns the Great War theatres with a lot of movement as compared to the Western Front and is highly regarded amongst gamers.  Art!

     There you go, a few of the boxes now populated with counters.  You're welcome.  

12)  "Wings Of Glory" By Ares Games

Art!

     More glory, this time rather better placed than an oily hand.  From the illo above you can tell what Conrad rather sniffily dismissed as 'Planes' in his notes.  You can see that the game uses miniature planes, so why not go the whole hog and just use a set of wargame rules and a hexsheet?  

13)  "1914 Twilight In The East" By GMT Games

Art!

     Another game focussing on the first few months of 1914 when armies were rattling around the battlefield at a rate of knots, this one is about the campaigns in Poland and Galicia between the Tuetons, Austro-Hungarians and Ruffians.  SORRY!  Russians, they were the good guys then.  Russians.  TDT mentions how accurate and complex the game is, as, judging by the size of the map above, this is a genuine monster game.  Normally this kind of game would be right up my street, except we've already been here, several times.

14) "Fatal Alliances The Great War 1914 - 1918" By Compass Games

Art!

     I am informed that this one is a WW1 variant of the WW2 'World In Flames' original, which immediately makes me suspicious about shoe-horning historical reality into concordance with an existing ruleset.  Still, it is hex-and-counter, and it looks to have the Western, Eastern, Italian and Middle Eastern fronts represented.  Comprehensive if nothing else.

15)  "Europe In Turmoil" By Compass Games

Art!

     Another box-and-counter game, this time from Compass Games, who seem to take a positive delight in seeing the Europeans blow themselves up.  Another card-driven game, intended only for two players, whom adopt either the liberal, democratic nations or the authoritarian dictatorships.  Conrad unsure where this leaves the Ruff Russians as they were allied with the democracies yet were an unmitigated despotism.  The more things change .....

     Righto, I think that's enough pondering on the First Unpleasantness.  We need a lot of pictures to combat that wall of text above.

'Izumrud' Sits In The Mud

Some eight years ago this FSB patrol ship was part of an unprovoked attack on a flotilla of Ukrainian ships.  The Kozaky have long memories when it comes to revenge.  Art!

     To upper port is a 'Sargan 3000' Unmanned Naval Drone, then at upper starboard is the Izumrud being a bottomhole, and the bottom two show the Izumrud, hull shattered apart, sitting on the harbour silt.  Another $6 million down the plughole.

Whilst On The Subject Of Marine Mayhem -

The orcs seem to be getting desperate, as they keep trying to sneak ships past the Ukrainian drone blockade in the Sea Of Azov.  Last total we had was yesteryon, that being Tuesday, when it was 105.  Art!

     You can tell if it's green -

     Firepoint's on the scene.

     133!  I doubt any of these ships are getting into harbour in order to be able to unload supplies, and if they got that far, one suspects Pretty Flamingo might pay them a visit.

Further Ungentle Shoeing

I Snipped this unflattering portrait of King Piggy - looking especially porcine - from the news feed thumbnails that update every so often, so it's unlikely this image will ever be around again.  Thus, cherish it for what it is.  Art!

     The Sagging Stroke Syndrome mouth is usually on the other side, so perhaps he's only sucking a lemon this time.  Pay attention to how much attention has been lavished on his Hair Helmet, as his hair continues to thin and retreat.  Poor hair.  Stuck permanently to his epidermis.

More Of Angus McKie

He's the British sci-fi artist whose work was mentioned yesteryon, notable for verrrry detailed artworks, which have graced many magazine and book covers.  Conrad has purchased a few of these in the dim and distant past, and recognises others, if not their titles.  Art!

     Conrad is pretttty sure this was used as the cover illustration, possibly for one of the 'Perry Rhodan' series.  Let me do a bit of digging.  

     Ha!  Art?

     The plot seems to be Things Exploding than mind control but as I've not read it cannot say definitively.

Finally -

There are definite signs that the manager's manager at my still coyly un-named employer has changed, in a good way.  Which I will not elaborate upon, just to be secretive.  Heh.

*  Rather a lot, actually, if you must know.

THE DANGERS OF A BREWER'S DICTIONARY!

I Only Half Apologise For The Block Capitals

Making a point.  Note that we only used a single exclamation mark, because we're British here and don't believe in Continental levels of drama.

     Here's a bit of foreshadowing.  Art!

     So! this Intro is coming to you from an entirely unexpected news source that I came across whilst looking up something else entirely.  This is what I like to call the 'Brewer's' syndrome, that being the 'Brewer's Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable' wherein you look up one item <selects at random> 'MIDDLE TEMPLE' which is defined as one of the INNS OF COURT, and which item also goes on to mention INNER TEMPLE - meaning another two items you need to check out, and then there's also the risk of another item on those pages catching your eye.  Art!

Inner Inner Temple

     The howling irony here is that I came across this Item's (eventual) focus when looking up background on teh interwebz for 'The Lamp Of Phoebus'.

     First of all, we're once again going to need to define terms.  Harking back to our first picture, if I were to say 'Cartel' then you'd immediately jump to thoughts of the Mexican drug cartels whom are determined to supply wicked illegal drugs to South Canada.  Not noted for their gentlemanly manner and definitely not the kind of people to introduce to Mom and Pops.  Art!

     HOWEVER we are dealing with an entity that predates these bounders by a good 100 years, so let's look at the dictionary definition of 'Cartel': "A collusive international association of independent enterprises, formed to monopolise production and distribution of a product or service, control prices, etcetera.  From the German 'Kartell' via French and Italian 'Cartello', a written challenge."

     Great, glad we got that out of the way.  Next, we have to deal with another deeply immoral and unethical aspect of capitalism, especially South Canada: Planned Obsolescence.  This is where manufacturers deliberately plan, plot and variously conspire to render their artefacts liable to fall apart or fail or become useless.  In today's technology-driven society this means having to update to Windows 11 from Windows 10 but in the past it was more about physical artefacts.  Art!

     That's Phoebus driving the horses of the sun across the sky, as the Greeks and Romans fondly believed astronomy to be.  Art!

     Welcome to the 'Phoebus Cartel', a conglomeration of international lightbulb producers of the world, back when the incandescent bulb was the only game in  town.  Art!

     These reprehensible scammers constituted a who's-who of industrial companies: General Electric (South Canada), Osram (Germany), Tungsram (Hungary), AEI (Great* Britain), Compagne des Lampes (France), Tokyo Electric (Japan) and Philips (Holland).  Born into wretched existence in 1925 and only brought to an end by the Second Unpleasantness in 1939: they had planned this cartel to last for 30 years, the utter cads.  

     What did they do that was so terrible?  Well, before the cartel the standard life for an incandescent bulb was 2,500 hours; they conspired to bring this down to 1,000 hours, a 40% reduction.  If we look at the year 1930 as an example, the cartel sold 420 million light bulbs.  At about 30 cents per bulb that works out at $84 million, and these are the prices of almost a century ago.  Art!

A metaphor

     The cartel had teeth.  If a producer manufactured light bulbs that exceeded the 1,000 hours limit, they got fined, the amount depending on how efficient/unprofitable/long-lived <delete where necessary> they were.  One of the Swiss members came out with a quote that encapsulates the whole cartel's attitude and motivation: "After the very strenuous efforts we made to emerge from a period of long life lamps, it is of the greatest importance that we do not sink back into the same mire by paying no attention to voltages and supplying lamps that will have a very prolonged life."

     Gotta keep those profit margins high!  Except, you know, that World War Two thing that put members on opposite sides and killed the cartel.

     However - a word you surely knew was going to crop up - that 1,000 hour standard that they decided upon a century ago is still the industry criteria, so you can they had the last laugh.  Art!

     Up to a point.  Conrad is happy to point out that GE, as above, got into very hot water in 1949, when the South Canadian Supreme Court took them to court over their anti-trust activities.  They lost, and subsequently got hit with civil measures that broke up their monopoly, viz: 1)  They had to break up their connections with other cartel members; 2)  Certain patents were gifted to the public for free, gratis and nothing;  3)  Their competitors were to be given access to the GE patents at reasonable prices.  Art!

Points and laughs

      

     What you might call Phoebusted.

Sea Levelled

No apologies for yarking on about the hot topic of the moment, which is the Ukrainians making the Sea Of Azov a very, very no-go area for Ruffian shipping.  The SOA is the small inland sea north of the Black Sea, with the only access being via the Kerch Straits.  Normally it's a bustling hub of marine activity as the orcs send freighters full of grain south into the Black Sea, and small riverine tankers that offload fuels to onto much larger Aframax or Supermax tankers for global forwarding.  Art!

     Impressively large, nicht wahr?  Except it's not going to get loaded if the riverine tankers aren't sailing out to meet it.  

     Now for a telling marine map from 'Jake Broe'.  Art!

    As is hugely obvious, the SOA is empty, empty, EMPTY!  The merchant marine (and Ruffian navy) are hiding in and off Novorossiysk in the south - Art!

     This is risky for the small riverine tankers as they are not designed for work on the open sea, and a storm will split them in half and sink them.  Art!

     Other marine traffic is being held up at Rostov-on-Don, where there is now a bottleneck, as they're not being permitted to transit the SOA.

     Oooops!

Sorry, Couldn't Resist

Art!

     IT'S ALIVE!

     Art?

     You can see the family resemblance.

Dead Can't Dance

No!  Not the band Dead Can Dance, Art!

     I had one of their EPs back in the mid-Eighties, which w

     ANYWAY one of the more interesting news items from South Canada is the overnight demise of Senator Linseed Greyman (Lindsay Graham if we're being formal), who was responsible for licking Donold's shoes to a high shine.  He was definitely pro-Ukraine, but only as far as Donold was willing to go, which is to say not at all.  Donold has consistently stalled anything positive for Ukraine, so the conspiranoid swivel-eyed loonwaffles postulating that Linseed was poisoned because the bill was about to get enacted are verrrrry wide of the mark.  Art!

     Much more apposite is whether Linseed shook hands with Judge Death Vance recently, because that's a much more likely conspiracy.  

     ANYWAY AGAIN Linseed's out-of-turn dropping dead has rather taken the spotlight from, by acting as a metaphorical lightning-conductor, from Mitch McConnell.  Mitch, whose favourite film is 'Frozen'**, was last seen in public on June 11th.  There was an undisclosed 'medical event' at his home on 14th June, and he hasn't been seen alive since.  Various members of the Wizard Lizard Gizzard Party are assenting, without evidence, that they've had long phone convos with Mitch or even joined him in jitterbugging across the ward floor.  Art!

BOOJUM! remaining tasteful

     Conrad remains unconvinced, especially as one of the 'proof of life' photographs is from 2023.  Why they're keeping Mitch's status a secret is rather a mystery; he had long given up the position of Majority Leader in the Senate, acknowledging his failing health, so it's nothing to do with remaining in office.  Possibly a verrrry embarrassing and sordid end circumstance involving goats   <REDACTEDREDACTED>?

Finally -

Going out with a Biercism.

"Admirability,n: My kind of ability, as distinguished from your kind of ability."

*  HA! Eat it, Lavrov!

**  I know, I know, low-hanging fruit and all.

To The Wars

As A Theme, Rather Than The WW1 Games Review

Which we are only halfway through, you lucky people, so we're going to get back to that at some point in the near future.  Your Humble Scribe has to say, a lot of these games are down as 'Out Of Stock' even on their parent company's website, meaning they were a bit niche in the first place and didn't generate enough sales or interest to <ahem> stay in the game.  Art!

Not sure about this one.  France and the Low Countries 1944?

     ANYWAY, as ever, we need to define our term.  'Collins Concise English Dictionary' to the fore!  Art?

Amazingly bucolic and pacific

     "War.  Abbreviation. 'Warwickshire'"

     ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!  

"War: open armed conflict between two or more parties, nations or states.  From the Old Northern French 'Werre', related to Old High German 'Werra'."

     Well, it makes a change to the numbers nine, three or four.  I am now bringing on my 'Brewer's Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable' for the rest of this Intro or until I get bored.  

'The Terrapin War': Not a name I was familiar with, this concerns the war Great Britain fought against the Treacherous Backstabbing Colonials, in the 1812 - 1814 timeframe.  As if we didn't have enough to do beating Napoleon!

     ANYWAY ANYWAY the 'terrapin' epithet comes from being completely enclosed by the Royal Navy blockade, as in a turtle in it's shell.  A rather long-winded analogy if you ask me, and even if you don't.  Art!

A Terrapin (it says here)

'The Potato War': Another one I've never heard of, and no wonder, it defines 'obscure'.  Technically, it was the 'War of the Bavarian Succession' that ran for a whole year between 1778 and 1779.  'Potato' because, rather than seeking bloody and decisive conflict on the field of battle, each side sought to deprive the other of food.  Makes for a very dull hex-and-counter game, Vulnavia.  Art!

A little more dignified than 'The Terror Of Tubers'

"War Bride: a soldier's bride, met as a result of wartime postings or operations" Not very dramatic.  Art!

     

     I've actually seen this, or at least the last half that was broadcast on television.  Conrad seems to recall that it was a decent satire, inverting the normal trope of a foreign woman marrying a GI and the hilarious consequences thereof.  Also a chance for Cary to do a bit of drag.  Art!

You're not fooling anyone, matey

"War paint: The paint applied to their faces by Native Americans and other peoples to make their terrifying before going out on the warpath.  Also, of a woman, to putting on elaborate makeup in order to overcome her rivals.  Figuratively, a phrase applied to getting ready energetically to enter a dispute."  Art!

     The Google description insists this is a 'fierce woman warrior with war paint' but, I feel, it looks more as if she's not bothered to wash after a heavy day's work in the coal mines.  Art!

     That's more like it.  You'd think twice before jumping the queue in front of him, nicht wahr?

"War Of The Elements: A storm or natural catastrophe".  That's a bit basic, let's have some of the natural catastrophes that South Canada is so profligate with.  Art!

     Hmmm how grateful I am to live in a country with boring weather.

"The War Of The Roses:  the usual name given to the civil wars in England between 1455 and 1485 and the Lancastrians versus the Yorkists.  The Yorkists, under Henry Tudor, were successful, which has led to bad blood between Lancashire and Yorkshire ever since."  Art!

ART!

     To continue: "The name is not really historical and appears to derive from Sir Walter Scott - " '- the civil discords so dreadfully prosecuted in the Wars of the White and Red Roses - 'Anne of Geierstein (1829)."

     O that wacky Walter!  He invented the name 'Cedric' in 'Ivanhoe' which he ought to have been 'Cerdic'.  Inventive if not accurate.  

"Wargame: Originally known as 'Kreigspeil', it was introduced in 1824 by one Lieutenant Von Reiswitz, who completed and improved his father's design.  It depends on the use of maps as battlefields in miniature and blocks or counters representing troops and the like, for the purpose of instructing officers in military tactics."  Art!

Very very old school

     'Brewers's' has the temerity to claim that computers have taken over the wargame.  As if! - check out my blogs over the past week.  Perhaps at the Pentagon, not at The Mansion.

"The Austro-Serbian Pig War": Yet another obscure war that I distinctly remember from 'A' Level History.  Once again not a real shooting war, rather a trade tit-for-tat between Austria-Hungary and Serbia.  The Serbs, you see, had very ungratefully gotten their artillery from the French, which put the Hapsburgs nose out of joint, because they assumed the Serbs were still in their sphere of influence, so - agricultural bans it is.  Art!

     Which I think is self-referential enough to end this internecine Intro.  We've only just tickled the surface of this subject, and I bet you can hardly wait once more.

This Has Been Going The Rounds

Some say it's genuine, others that it's AI, neither of which bothers Conrad as it's so hilarious to watch.  To set the scene - Art!

     The machine gun in question is a triple-barrelled rotary one, as used on Ruffian helicopters, which delivers a high rate of fire and a lot of torque.  Who knows which idiot orc thought 'I know!  Let's put this on a pintle mount in the back of a truck!  What can possibly go wrong!'  

     They had to ask.  Art!

     The gun stays on target for all of quarter of a second before the torque swings the barrel clockwise.  Normally these things are mounted on a helicopter in a turret that removes any such slewing around.  Art!

     The instructor barely has time to register what's going on as Gunner Greenhorn is swept around thanks to being inside the harness.  Art!

     Instructor hits the deck, narrowly avoiding being decapitated.  Good drills there, mate.  Art!

     Gunner Greenhorn is physically hurled overboard, which at least means his finger is off the trigger and the gun is no longer firing.  Kinetic energy will keep the gun spinning for many revolutions yet, and the amount of rounds fired will also render the barrel verrrry hot.  Art!

     The gun keeps swivelling until friction slows it down.  Only about 3 seconds have elapsed by this point.  Art!

     The instructor stands up, slightly amazed at having head still attached to body, and is now infamous across the globe as a meme.

It's Hard To Keep Up

I'm writing this on Monday, prefatory to publishing it on Wednesday, and already today's blog is out of date as regards the Ukrainians ongoing onslaught against Ruffian shipping, ports and other infrastructure in the Sea of Azov.  The total of ships hit is now 105.  Art!

     I believe the Ruffian's Azov fleet amounted to 120 ships, so 83% are now out of commission.  This echoes the Allies Operation Flax and Operation Retribution, choking off the Axis bridgehead in Tunisia by sinking or shooting down all supplies being sent from Italy and occupied ports in the south of Europe.  It did not end well for the Axis, and - you may be ahead of me here - it's not looking good for Putinpot and the swarms of Mordorvia.

A Moment's Silence Please

No, not for that lickspittle toady Linseed Grayman, whose sole talent was polishing Donnie Dorko's shoes to a high shine with his tongue.  Art!

     He was in a great many more films than JP, matey, and if I was your sub-editor I'd be whaling on your bottom with a barbed-wire baton.  Recall him as the sly spy in 'Memoirs Of An Invisible Man' or the personification of evil in 'Event Horizon'?  Or one of the few unmutated humans left on Planet Earth at the end of 'In The Mouth Of Madness'?  Art!

"Sam's character was very cross"

     He was also a far more sympathetic character in both 'Dead Calm' and 'The Hunt For Red October', nyah nyah John Hammond.  And, in one of his better genre roles, the literal blood-sucking capitalist in 'Daybreakers'.  He must have enjoyed doing that one, where Australia pretended to be South Canada.  Art!

Sam being saturnine

Finally -

RAF Duxford is go!