The Differenter They Become
Yes, I know 'differenter' is not a recognised word in the English language, except it is now, because I say so.
What am I yarking on about now? One of the books from yesteryon's haul, specifically "Inside Enemy", and because the cover is remarkably bland and grey, I shall instead use - Art! Pick a random image.
I should have guessed. The sultry Mara Corday, Art's perpetual crush.
ANYWAY it transpires that 'Alan Judd' is a pseudonym for Alan Petty, whose career involved being a soldier and then a diplomat. The latter makes sense, as IE contains a lot of detail about the inner workings of Whitehall, the government and MI6. The publication date is 2014, meaning that as a novel it was most probably written in 2013.
Why does this detail matter? Well, the novel posits a concerted set of cyber-attacks on the UK, the probable culprit being the Ruffians - "They don't much like us" opines one character, which is true; the Ruffians fear the South Canadians but have always felt Perfidious Albion to be the sly provocateur in the shadows, quietly manipulating events, ever ready to stick the knife in. Art!
We did give them a shoeing in the Crimean War
What significant event took place in 2014, you know, in that peninsula that sticks out into the Black Sea and the Sea of Azov? No mention in the novel of course. IE does mention the Ruffian's real-life cyber-attack on Estonia, and the implication is that they could completely shut down the UKs internet.
Hmmmmmm reality since 24/02/2022 says otherwise. In fact at present it's the Ruffian's internet that's at risk. Sorry Al mate, you've been outpaced by fact.
Tsar Poutine - he's had his chips!
Embarrassing confession time: I only meant to pick it up and glance at a few pages and am now on Page 67.
Motley! Bring me an intravenous drip of hydrazine*, we need to get cracking on the blog to make up for lost time.
O Delightful Schadenfreude!
You all ought to know by now that 1) Conrad is a terrible person and 2) This is not going to change any time soon. So it was with great delight that I saw the BBC had opened Comments on a ballfoot game. It seems that Brite-On (sponsored by a toothpaste?) were playing The Manchester United, and beat them 4-0. The 'match' (stop me if I get too technical) article roundly condemned The Manchester United for being rubbish, so I looked forward to the Comments, and they did not disappoint. Here's one:
Dennis Law was just interviewed and asked if he thought his United team could beat the present team. “ Yes , 1-0 “ he replied. Only 1-0 , why so close ? asked the interviewer. “ Well most of us are in our eighties now “ replied Law .
Ouch! Here's another one I liked:
Between the lot of them, this Yenited squad couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Conrad suspects that ought to read 'Yernited' but their creative venom cannot be denied. Last one:
No they brought on Maguire who should be charged for impersonating a footballer
O it's all so entertaining when one doesn't support any ballfoot team.
Stop Press: Conrad Not Angry!
As a matter of fact that's a complete lie, I am as furiously angry as ever, a feeling only partially-offset by a pot of loose-leaf Darjeeling and a toasted cheese panini, a little experiment that worked. Incredibly greasy and probably very bad for me, which made it all the more del
ANYWAY back to me and my ever-present rage. Yes, Codewords the reason. Once I type this item out you'll see that my rancour is entirely justified.
"EULOGIST': YOU WHAT! Yes yes yes, it refers to a person extolling the virtues of someone or something. Come on, how many times have you ever heard this word used in a conversation or written in a book published in the past hundred years? Never, that's how often. I bet Charles Dickens used it EXCEPT HE DIED IN 1870. Bah! Art!
Charles, featuring supporting character Beard
"DYSTOPIA": You may be more familiar with the antonym of this word, namely "UTOPIA" which is a land of milk and honey (bad news for diabetics and the lactose-intolerant, mind). Conrad knows all about dystopia because so many sci-fi novels are set in them - '1984' is probably the best-known example of the genre. Everything is awful all the time and then it gets worse just about sums up the word. Art!
Sunny funny Nodnol
"ORCA": No, nothing to do with the stubble-hopping footsoldiers of Dimya, nor a creature from the pages of "Lord Of The Rings" (a lady Orc?). No, it is the name by which various whales such as the killer whale are known. It is from Latin <hack spit> which itself derives from the Greek <hack spit hack spit> "ORUX" for 'Whale' which seems suspicious to Your Humble Scribe. How often do you get whales in the Med and around the Hellenic coastline? Art!
"Dear Mum, having a -'
Tunisia, 1943
Another referral to "The War Illustrated" because if I bothered to photograph it, you are most certainly going to see the end results. Art!
This is General Bernard Freyberg, one of the fightingest soldiers ever. When the First World 'Special' Military Operation broke out he was also broke, so he paid his way across South Canada by winning boxing and swimming competitions. He won the VC, and had three bars on his DSO, meaning he'd been awarded it three times. You can tell by the 'lemon-squeezer' hat that he's in the New Zealand army, where he served as a general in the Second World 'Special' Military Operation.
Finally -
Yes yes yes, I shall pontificate again about Dimya's wretched SMO in Ukraine. Once again, whose blog is it? Exactly.
You may have heard Ruffian Major General Rustam Minnekayev boasting recently about how Ruffia was going to conquer the whole of southern Ukraine, cutting it off from the sea and allowing a link-up with Trans-Nistria, which is a sliver of pro-Ruffian land bordering Moldava and Ukraine. Art!
I'll have a pint of what he's drinking. The Ruffians, as you can see here, do NOT control all of southern Ukraine. In fact they have been pushed back from Mykolaiv and are struggling to hold Kherson, so they are very much on the back foot. One wonders what this general has been told about what's really happening on the ground, or if that's merely tobacco in those funny cigarettes he was smoking ...
* I shouldn't have to say this but DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME for it will render you dead."
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