Never Trust The Quiet Man

For He Is Formulating A Cunning Plan
It must be true, a man from the CIA told me so!  For Lo! I am referring back to the r/askreddit channel on Youtube that beards the dragon in it's lair.  Or, if not quite that, an ex-CIA spook holding forth on topics that folks ask him about.

"The Work Of A Nation.  The Centre Of Intelligence"

     One of his rules was "Never trust a quiet person", because they are listening and learning from what's going on around them, whilst, if they have any nous at all, looking as if they're not doing anything.
     Another pertinent question on this Youtube channel is one that tends to undermine the perception of the CIA as Evil Personified Under The Sun, wherein it tries to run the world by Various Divers And Evil Means - a bit like the Catholics and Jews have been portrayed in the past.


Yeah, this sort of thing

     I paraphrase, but someone asked if what they'd read about the CIA denigrating the Drug Enforcement Agency was true and accurate?
     "Hell yes!" responded our ex-spook.  The CIA sees itself as the alpha-male Big Dog, and wants all the other intelligence agencies to acknowledge same.  The FBI equally considers itself to be the alpha-male Big Dog and will never bow the knee to the CIA; there have been bitter turf wars in the past between the two agencies, with the Feds being super keen to arrest and detain CIA spooks to make their point.  Both look down upon lesser mortals such as the aforementioned DEA, the spooks especially since they have their own drug enforcement agency.  These organisations have to compete with the much more recent Homeland Security body, both doubtless plotting to try and take it over. 
     Oh, we mustn't forget the National Security Agency, those people who are the South Canadian equivalent to GCHQ here in Perfidious Albion; you know, eavesdropping on everyone's e-mails and phone calls and letters and heliograph signals. 

CIA HQ

     All these agencies look down upon the Bureau of Alchohol, Tobacco and Firearms with contempt, considering them only slightly above the Inspectorate branch of the US Postal Service.
     So, Evil Government though they may be, the CIA is a lot more admin-based than you'd imagine and is almost as obsessed with acquiring territory and empire than waging the war on terror.  Imps, you might say, rather than devils.
    I think that's enough sinister and shadowy intelligence posting for the moment.  Come on, motley, let's play Blindfolded Tag With Automatic Weapons!

This Will All Make Sense On Facebook
I am jumping around within this blog like billy-o, so forgive me for bringing the bottom up to the top, in a way of speaking.  Art?

Vicia Cracca
(Also known as Vetches)

Back To Those 51 Top Sci-Fi Novels Of All Time
Yes, once again I'm typing this up at home, because the BookBub website will not load on the office PCs, for no good reason.  I don't get a screaming red warning sign that the IT admin spotters are watching me access a dodgy site; the screen just won't load.  Art?

Nope, not quite.

     I've not read the book, though I have seen the film.  Does that count?  Probably not, as I've no idea how different or similar each is to the other.  It was a pretty bleak and depressing film, I have to say, and I doubt the book will be a laff-riot, either.  One to buy and put on the shelf without reading.  Next!

Yup!

     Now, this - this I have read, back when it came out.  As I mentioned to Fifi in the office, when she enquired about the new edition I'd just bought, this is one of the most important sci-fi books of the last 40 years.  Immensely influential, it's been decades since I last read it, so I'm going to enjoy it when I eventually get to the bottom of my book pile.  Gibson invented a frighteningly new world where it's unclear if humanity runs the technology or if it's the other way round, where civilisation barely manages to evolve faster than it crumbles, and where national boundaries matter less than who your multinational employer is.  A fascinating dystopia!
     Wow.  Get me.  Conrad wonders how nobody's made a film of this yet.

It may happen

     <Much later - there is a film supposedly in the works, but "Neuromancer" has been in development hell for at least 10 years, so don't hold your breath>

The Death Of A Legend
A metaphorical one (though you could read Nicholas Parsons into that if you like).
     This one comes courtesy of the Pub Quiz, where the True or False Question was: Cows sleep standing up.
     Well, obviously!  There's a line in James Blish's "A Life For The Stars" where one character states that cows sleep standing up because their "plumbing" is so badly designed.  Art?

Daisy is dozy.

     Conrad then assuredly stated that, over in South Canada, drunken rural youths go out at night and tip over sleeping cows, for hoots and hollers -
     Except not.
     Some South Canadian scientists, obviously either bored or with too much grant money, did a study on how feasible it is to tip a cow.  The answer came back: not very.  A single adult cow weighs in at about half a ton and it would need at least six and as many as fourteen people to push one over.  Nor are they easily surprised, as they sleep only shallowly when standing up.

You  also risk making your target angry

     A sensible farming chap (the splendidly-named Jake Swearingen) also points out that so far nobody has ever posted a film of cow-tipping on Youtube.  That's the clincher - film or it never happened.
From Flabbergast To Arbogast
Because Conrad's mind likes to make connections.  We don't really have an origin for the former, but we do for the latter surname.  It is Alsatian in origin, from that region with an uneasy relationship with both the Franks and the Teutons, so it has roots in both French and German.  The breakdown is: "Arbi" meaning "Inheritance" and "Gast" meaning "Stranger".  So, this bloke from out of town gets all your goods and chattels, and if you don't like it, go take it up with a lawyer.

Saint Arbogast, patron saint of Alsatia, about to catch a fly?

     So - now we know.  Are we flabbergasted yet? Finally -
Just what is a "Ketch"?  I ask because this was part of a Cryptic Crossword solution.  Your Humble Scribe is aware of the word, and that it's a boat (that is, too small to be a ship) and - what then?

A ketch

     Wiki defines it as a two-masted sailboat where the main mast is taller than the mizzen mast, which must mean that one at the back, and they tend to be in the forty foot range.  So, if we're not exactly flabbergasted, we can be said to be - waitforitwaitforit - flabbermasted.

     Thank you and goodnight!

  

Quiver With Fear -

Conrad's Here
The quivering and my presence are not connected, I assure you, since I am a great big cuddly marshmellow, honest*.
     No, I refer - obviously! - to "San Andreas", and the earthquake central to the plot, which DVD I bought at the weekend for the princely sum of £1, and which I intend to use as popcorn for the eyes.  It certainly doesn't stint on action, only 18 minutes in and we've already had a daring helicopter rescue alongside narrow canyon walls, and now the Hoover Dam has basically exploded.  Art?

Well well well**

     As you should surely know by now, BOOJUM! has long taken an interest in dams and how (or when) they collapse, and this scene is not very realistic.  Firstly, it takes place over the space of a couple of minutes.  A real collapse of the Hoover Dam, which is fantastically unlikely in the first place, would typically begin with the main structure being compromised in several places, as cracks were created.  This is not a swift process.
     Then, water pressure would erode the cracks, creating voids, which would enlarge over time.  Again, this process is not quick.  People would notice the cracks and water springing from them with force at different points along the dam's main structure.

Before
(and probably after, too)

     Once the water is surging through the body of the dam, a particular section is likely to give way first, and not the whole dam itself in an orgy of concrete and rebar.  This will progressively weaken and strip away other parts of the dam, until there is a general collapse or the water level falls to below the surviving structure.
     All in all, the first stages can take hours to unfold, rather than the mere minutes shown in the film.  The final collapse, however - that can happen in seconds.
     Next, you have Paul Giamatti's character with the teenager who survived the collapse.  Art?

He's a big fan of Yes

     He must be, because he hangs about so close to the edge!  Note to spectators: you are not safe at the very edge of a recently-collapsed structure merely because you are now standing on terra firma.  The edges will continue to crumble into the abyss, especially if there is additional weight added by gobsmacked onlookers.  Move away! as I kept telling him.
     Motley, shall we see what happens when you put a jelly in a vibrating plate and have it oscillate at 900 Hertz?

Yeah, I thought so.

And Now - Back To Books
You know, those things made out of wood pulp and ink, which need no batteries, emit no annoying sounds, and which can be used as a blunt instrument in the event of zombie attack***.
     For Lo!  we are indeed back to that list of the 51 greatest sci-fi novels of all time, at least up until now.  Who knows what the future will bring?

Nope

     Never heard of either author nor novel.  Look, I'm not going to add another 35 books to my next Abebooks order just because they're on this list.  Next!

Another semi-Nope

     Never heard of this one, either, though I have heard of Neal Stephenson.  Have I ever read any of his stuff, I wonder?   <Googles>  Ah yes - "The Diamond Age" which was all about nanotechnology, and nanotechnology taken to it's logical extremes.  I recall it as being very carefully thought out in it's ramifications.  Okay, TDA may mean another Abebooks order.
     I'm typing this up on Wednesday evening at home, since once in the office I cannot access the webpage this article is based on.  Pity me!  Pity me!

     Here I shall pause for tonight.

This Pope Has Hope
No!  Not the chap who sits in the Vatican - which is a very impressive architectural achievement, I can tell you - because that would be Religion, which we here at BOOJUM! are loathe to tackle, unless we think it can generate a bit more traffic.
     Here an aside.  The blog has been generating a lot of hits over yesterday and today, an awful lot of hits, 280 yesteryon, which is about four times the usual, and it seems to be due to the blog's Ruffian readership.  Thank you Ruffians!  <probably all troll farmers looking for blackmail material - the hideous truth courtesy Mister Hand!>

This would earn me 10 years in a gulag back in Za Rodina

     No, I - hang on, is that bumbletuck Mister Hand interfering again?  GET OUT OF HERE!  Treacherous appendage.
     Where was I? O yes.  The "Pope" I refer to is Nick Pope, who used to run an obscure branch of the Ministry of Defence which investigated UFO sightings within the UK.

A reassuringly normal-looking Nick Pope
(though he could have monstrous cyborg hands because why else is he hiding them?!)

     It was closed down in 2009 because, after 50 years, the RAF had failed to find any trace or proof of any kind of hostile intent from the UFO phenomena.  Not that they were looking for Martians; rather it was suspected that perhaps the Sinisters were up to something - er - sinister, by sending aircraft to test Perfidious Albion's air defence network.  Nick confirmed that 95% of all UFOs turned out to have an utterly prosaic explanation, and points out that the remaining 5% are highly unlikely to be proof of extra-terrestrial craft.  Okham's Razor in action.
     Sorry to shoot down all your Little Grey Men fantasies.  Heh.

Accountant: Little Grey Men

     At this point we have a fire alarm alert in the office so I shall have to pause until - 1) we are evacuated and the Dark Tower burns down or 2) we all troop down 34 flights of stairs, hang around in the cold and then all troop back again.




     We shall see!

     I'm back, utterly unsinged.  Your grateful appreciation is noted.

The Dark Tower.  Also unsinged.

Finally -
I was listening to another Reddit transcription of an "Ask Me Anything" subject on Youtube, this time the respondee stating that they'd been in the CIA.
     Erk.
     "Which is the most effective secret service in the world?" asked an attendee.
     "The Japanese Secret Service," replied our anonymous ex-officer, to general surprise, most people being unaware that Japan even has a secret service.  They certainly do: how else do they keep an eye on the Norks, the Populous Dictatorship, Vietnam, the Sorks, the South Canadians (just in case)  and the Ruffians.

The Public Service Intelligence Agency

     We anticipate that they are absolute hot-dog with all kinds of electronic eavesdropping and monitoring, given Japan's general electronic background.

And with that - we are done!

*  The murder charges were dropped for lack of evidence.  
**  Do you see wh - O you do.
***  Only if cornered and desperate.

More Of Mars

And Perhaps Matania
We'll see.  Anyway, yet more coincidences have arisen today, after I went enquiring about the new title page picture over on the Space Opera Facebook page.  If you loaded up the picture separately in a new window, it had the artist's name lower starboard side: "Shrox".  This is the chosen appellation of one Douglas Schrock.
     Let me cattle-prod that lazy slacker Art into action -
     <sounds of buzzing and a muted scream>

See?

     These are obviously enormous great spaceships and you can break down their design.  A rocket engine, with tanks of reactants stored along the hull.  What seem to be radiator fins to get rid of waste heat.  Solar sails for acquiring energy.  A rotating dual habitat to allow the human crew to experience centripetal force as a substitute for gravity.  
     There's another picture that gives a head-on perspective.  Art!


     The nose section appears to be detachable, perhaps a stand-alone shuttle of some description?
     These two images are part of a short animation the artist did called "Mars Awaits", which is where the Coincidence Hydra comes in and has a go at my tasty white posterior, for am I not reading "The Martian", about an astronaut stranded on Mars*?
     Okay, motley, today we are going to learn about how to defend against the dreaded Martian Rock Snake!

A deadly foe.

"Taprobane"
Aaaand once again we are back in the land of Conrad's brain spontaneously generating words at random.  What the heck was this one?  Can you drink it, or spread it on bread?  Will it fill in potholes or make good casseroles?
     None of the above.  It is, apparently, the ancient Greek name for the island we call Sri Lanka; and you recall that last week I was wittering on about Batticaloa, one of that island nations major cities.  So I may have inadvertently come across Taprobane without realising it.  Art!  O stop whining and put some salve on it.

Sri Lanka

     So there is a plausible reason why this geographical name popped up in my head.  That's not all, however.  There is a small island with the name "Taprobane Island", which, if Art will stop whining and work for once -

The definition of picturesque

     Yes, undeniably attractive.  However, just imagine the kerfuffle if you run out of milk!  This place was established in 1926 and has gone through several owners since, and is definitely on that list of places where you need not worry about noisy neighbours.

Back To That List Of 51 Sci-Fi Novels You Must Read Before The Robots Rise In Revolt
And here we have another one I've not read.  Art?

They were caught in mid-jump

     Well I never.  It transpires that this came out in 1971, won the Nebula Award (this is generally regarded as being a good thing) and I've never heard of it until now.  I wonder if it's still in print?  Having read the plot summary on Wiki - I know, I know, I just spoil things for myself - I don't think Your Humble Scribe is going to hurry to read it.
     Shall we have another of these?  Yes, let's*.

Another nope

     No, never read it, nor heard of Connie Willis either, whereas with that other one I certainly know who Robert Silverberg is.  Or was - is he still around?  <Googles> why yes he is, at age 85 no less.  Connie Willis?  I should check, shouldn't I <more Google> O!  She's been around for ages and won tons of awards.  Welllllll we shall see if I can't find some of her stuff going cheap on Abebooks, but there had better be free postage, matey.
     And that's an end to the list of 51 books.  If nothing else it does widen my literary horizons, so pretty much a win-win situation.
"Pentaborane"
I know what you're thinking - "Another Sri Lankan town?  Really!  Show some creativity, you white-whiskered woebegone."
  I am, because HA HA! it's not a town in Sri Lanka or Taprobane, it was an experimental rocket fuel back in the Sixties, as used by both the South Canadians and Sinisters.  At it's core are five atoms of boron, surrounded by a mass of hydrogen.  Art?

Pentaborane rocket engine under test

     You can see why the South Canadians nicknamed it "Green Dragon".  There were a few problems with it, mind, problems that make Your Modest Artisan's palms sweat with anticipation.
     First off, it was incredibly toxic.  Almost as dangerous as nerve gas.  Anyone fuelling a rocket engine with this would need the full hazmat suit with tanked air.  The exhaust fumes were toxic, so you needed to be well clear when it launched or fired.  Pentaborane itself is liable to spontaneously ignite when in contact with air, or just when it feels like it, for shizzles and giggles.  It readily forms shock-sensitive versions of itself that will explode if looked at hard.  If it did ignite, you cannot use either water or suppressive halocarbons on it, or again - explodey time.
     The only thing this stuff lacks is radioactivity! 

Sound advice

     After some consideration, neither the South Canadians nor the Sinisters took this fuel any further than prototype testing, as they liked being alive.

Okay, Matania
Fortunino, that is, the accredited war artist for Perfidious Albion during the First Unpleasantness.  I have been plundering his back catalogue for a while now, because he was a formidably accurate artist who produced detailed work quickly and who didn't sugar-coat his subject matter.  You obviously don't get people turned into a human slurry by artillery - his editor wouldn't have accepted same, and the censor would have been rather cross, too.  Anyway, Art?

"Canada's Part In The Somme Advance"

     I have magnified this as much as I can, yet still cannot see if these soldiers have the "Canada" flash on their shoulders, so we will just have to take Ol' Mat's word for it.  Here you can see a few Teutons attempting to stem the advance from behind cover, somewhat unsuccessfully.  The Canuckistanians are wielding Lee Enfield rifles with the frightening British Sword Bayonet mounted, and directly behind that big boiler (?) a soldier is ferretting in a box of Mills Bombs, as they were called.  Note the amount of kit and harness these soldiers are carrying, as they don't know when (or if) they're going to be resupplied.  This scene has the air of being taken from a real-life incident; however, it would take a lot of digging to see if this is true or not.  Shall I try to determine*?
Finally -
Conrad is still Not A Dog Person, not by any means, so don't read anything into me posting this item, since it was eyecatching to say the least.  It comes from that font of all that's fit to be writ, the BBC.  Art?

      I think words are a bit superfluous here.  Your Humble Scribe can only gasp at how well-behaved and well-trained these hounds are.  Why, only 10,000 years ago they were simply wolves.

And with that, we are done!



*  Yes I am, it was a rhetorical question.