Numbers, Humbers and Cucumbers

For No Other Reason Than They Rhyme
Let's get the Humbers out of the way:

A whole lot of the squealers

     Technically this is the FV1602, but everyone across the world called them "Pigs", as their bonnet supposedly had a snout-like look to it.
     Cucumbers

Just - cucumbers.

Numbers
Ah, now we get to the meat of the matter.  I am going to recite statistics at you, whilst you sit - STAY RIGHT THERE! - and pretend to be interested.
     If you feel your eyes glazing over, let me know.  Mister Hand can be there in seconds with his Wakey-Uppy Bamboo Skewer.
     Okay, last month BOOJUM! had 893 visitors, which is probably a record of sorts, I haven't gone back over previous months to tally them as I am aware readers have a limited capacity for having numbers shovelled over them.
     I have also added the blog to Google Analytics, which is supposed to, over time, give information about this, that, and a little of the other.  We shall see.

What does it mean?
No idea.  But the bounce rate is 60%

"Mason and Dixon" By Thomas Pynchon
Well past the half-way point of this novel now, and I notice a curious variation in spelling.  Tom, being that he is trying to mimic the language of the 18th Century - or "mimick" as he'd probably write - varies between "axmen" and "axemen".  Which is correct?  Possibly both, I'm sure he'd argue that the final definitive state of spellings hadn't been decided by then.
     He also occasionally quotes a certain "Timothy Tox", a poet, and Conrad* simply had to check him out.  Is he real? 
     Certainly not!
     Lastly Tom mentions an "Indian Pudding", which made Conrad curious.  What is it?
     Apparently this is the American version of a "hasty pudding", made with cornmeal, milk, spices and treacle.  Conrad has the recipe** and, damme, he intends to make one.  The usual "I Made It" rule will apply - good, bad or unmentionably awful, Conrad will eat the whole thing.
     I'll let you know.

See Tcherbevan - Before It Vanishes
I filled you in on the political and military background of the situation in Andreivia yesterday.  Let us see what follows from the initial setting-up of the various factions there:

The Armenian Quarter

Note the English Church.  I knocked the spire off so many times it became a standing joke.
Here we have the Turkish and Armenian militias fighting each other:

     No tactics or subtlety, they simply lined up and blasted away at each other:

     Whilst this occurred, the NATO heavy metal was arriving in the Southern Hills:

"Flee!  Flee!  The Italians are here!"

     Plus a Russian Naval Infantry force was arriving at the Madina Harbour to carry out reconstruction work, with tanks and guns:

Reconstruction tanks and guns, mind
(Gallant Andreivian Govt. forces defending on the near edge)

 "History Of The 51st Highland Division"
Currently reading this Print On Demand volume from Naval & Military Press.  It has a welcome succinct explanation of the publication of histories about the British divisions that fought in World War One:

     However!  It does not have an Index*, which is a bit of a shortcoming.  Nor does it have a list of decorations awarded, not even Victoria Crosses.  And, a peril of books written ninety odd years ago, it assumes the reader is literate in French.  At least they haven't quoted Latin or, good lord aloft, Greek.

Secondary Dad
Whilst Wonder Wifey is off delivering Easter eggs to the younger of the clan, Edna is forced to stay home with the inferior parent.  She was sulking downstairs after sulking in the Upstairs Lair:

"Humans!  Can't live with 'em, can't gnaw 'em to death"

     She isn't overly fond of the onesie and keeps shaking herself furiously to try and dislodge it, to no effect.

Jack The Giant Slayer
More numbers!  Do you remember this film?  Conrad hasn't seen it and doesn't particularly want to.  It scores 6.4 at IMDB, meaning Not Quite Meh in Conrad's brain.
     But the cost, Victoria, the cost! - $195 million.  That's an awful lot of millions.

"Alright.  Own up.  Who farted?"

     It made back $197 million, which is also a lot of millions but with a net profit of only $2 million, or - more numbers! - 1%, Conrad rather doubts there'll be a sequel.
     Brian Singer, whose vanity project it was, did redeem himself with "X-Men: Days Of Future Past".  So that's alright then.**

And there we have the self-imposed 60 minute deadline.  Off to post on social media!


* I could construct one myself, and in fact I may, as I'm peculiar that way.
** It cost $200 million but made back $748 million. So, yes, really alright.

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