It's Cheryl Cole - And Her Terror Tadpole!

I Apologise For Tempting You In -
 - with the talentless clothes-horse.  Yes!  Amazingly enough Conrad has heard of her, though thankfully nothing by her, although that dreadful rendition of an Owl City song was only narrowly escaped.  I don't know what the editorial staff at "Q" were thinking when they put her on the cover.  Probably along the lines of "O wow a big fat bribe thinly disguised as an official sponsorship deal!"
     I believe she infests one of those ghastly musical programmes on television, but once again cannot confirm any of this as it would 1) take time to confirm and 2) inflict irreparable damage to my corneas whilst probably 3) generating an urge to kill.
     Oh, the terror tadpole?  It grew up into Tony the Ten Ton Terror Toad.  Art?

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
Almost literally in this case.  Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk on a regular basis, regular enough to have invented Miraculous Expanding Trousers, which are snug, form-fitting, with a dash of rebel style and won't leave you naked after a bout of Hulking-out.
     Okay, that's the easy target out of the way.  Consider, if you will, what Bruce has to avoid doing on a daily basis, lest he transform into the big green gobstopper.
     1)  No alcohol.  Nor illegal drugs either, although this goes without saying as Bruce is squeaky-clean.  Anyway, booze: to be avoided at all costs lest his emotional control be compromised.  You or I could sink sixteen snakebites and get into an argument in the queue at Tiger Tiger*; Bruce would Hulk out and destroy the entire Northern Quarter*.

Which, for a lot of pretentious bars, would be a very good thing.

     2) No driving.  This is far too risky a proposition, for obvious reasons.  When it comes down to it, public transport is a liability, too.  Hence Bruce walks everywhere.
     3) No I.T.  Certainly not!  Once again, you or I will merely hammer the mouse for thirty seconds, or exclaim "Dog Buns!" loudly, or maniacally stab your stale baguette so violently with your knife that you impale it to the desk, when the IT misbehaves.  Bruce would destroy the whole building and everyone in it.

"Hello?  Is that IT?  You have a problem.  A big green one."

     4) Watch sports.  Again, any emotional investment in watching the World Series as an example would be very ill-advised.  There are the New York - the New York - er - the New York, ah, Jayhawks, doing really well, Bruce is really rooting for them and then they suddenly lose.  You can imagine the sound of a television set being kicked so hard it goes into orbit, can't you?
     5) Play sports.  Perhaps with the exception of darts, this one is self-explanatory.
     6) Stub his toes.  You and I might only swear a lot, clutching the abused digit, hop for a minute or two and then stumble back to bed in the small hours.  Not so Bruce.  O no.  That partition wall would be in fragments, and so would the floor - the entire floor, not just one plank, either.

Poster child for:"Eat your greens and grow up big and strong."

As The Hulk Might Say ...
I know, I'm milking this a bit.  Once again, whose blog is it?

"Yes, puny human?"

     Note that this is the cat in the dog's bed.  Surely an intimation of the End Times**!

An Essay On Ice Cream
Forgive me for banging on about ice cream, as it is surely up there with the i-pod, the internet and the fission-fusion-fission warhead as one of humanity's more impressive achievements.   You hear me going on about having it for breakfast, yes, although I don't believe I've ever explained the process. 
     Katie Wood, if you're reading, start taking notes ... now!
The Raw Ingredients

Pecan and Pistachio Ice cream in the making

     Here we have the nuts, sugar, eggs and vanilla being added, then comes the milk.  Note that I used a quarter of the amount of nuts the recipe calls for, because i) I am a cheapskate and ii) It doesn't need that much nut.
A Zap In The Blender

A deft zef zap

     You need to give it a good couple of minutes, otherwise you end up with big lumps of nut in your creamy blend, which is nut good***.
Fire Burn And Cauldron Bubble

     Sorry, been reading too much Shakespeare.  Anyway, here we see the mix being heated until it thickens.
Cool

Ignore the giant flagon of beer.  Ignore it I say!

     This is the boring part.  Please be aware that I've cat-proofed the mixture with a plate over the top, otherwise madam ("Yes, puny human?") might interfere.
Whisky

It has a whisk.  Hence "whisky"

     Here the mix gets a good 30 minutes of rotating action, and a couple of tablespoons of vodka, which helps prevent it setting like concrete.
Voila!

End product

     This is the mix just before it goes into the freezer.  I've not made this ice cream for over a year, so it'll be interesting to see how it turns out tomorrow.

Shakeshaft
I have to admit that I derive a gratuitous delight in bashing Bill the Bard Of Avon with the nail-studded truncheon of parody.  Since he died about 400 years ago I don't suppose it bothers him one whit.  I do live in fear that some Shakespearean fanatic will post an unkind Comment^.  
     Have at thee Sonnet Number whatever:

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

You can, Bill, but I don't swing that way.

"Though art more lovely and more temperate"

Bill, old chap, you're getting desperate.

"Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May"

Yes, English weather takes one's breath away.

"And summer's lease hath all to short a date."

"A date"? Bill, I told you, no flirting, mate.

Heh heh!



* Manchester night-spots.
** Or, just a cat doing a cat thing.
*** Do you see what I did - O you do.
^ Since the only Commenter here is ME this is highly unlikely.