- that your humble scribe enjoys nothing more than messing about with the English language, using long words, using words not commonly found in conversation or making them up out of whole cloth. This is why, if you hail from shores beyond those of the Pond of Eden, it pays to read BOOJUM! as you will pick up on language that will impress your peers*.
So! I could not resist it when two different Twitter feeds came up on the 'Trending' list: first was "#MakeaFilmStarHappyOrCalm". What did I come up with?
Zen Affleck
Karl Urbane
which appealed to a few people who Retweeted them.
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| Keeping it on the level |
Bridge of Pies
Cheeseburger Hill
Apocalypse Sow
The Langoustine Day
A View to a Krill
Rambone
Thundermeatball
Southern-Fried Comfort
You Only Liver Twice
Kidneyapped
The Satan Burger
| Do not take that flask! |
Them! Crooked Vultures
Rambone
To Skillet A Mockingbird
Some of those might not be familiar to you, in which case WATCH MORE FILMS!
Nursery Rhymes As A Sign Of The Times
I'm not sure if you out there are familiar with old British nursery rhymes, so in order to squeeze the maximum amount of fun from this post, I shall recite one for you.
"What are little boys made of?
Slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails -
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice -"
Little girls appear to be already ahead in the race to get diabetes, one feels; also once that sugar buzz has dissipated, a dab of cinnamon isn't going to sustain you through a long day. Little boys, however, seem to be big on protein without any excess carbs.
None of which has anything to do with what follows. Of course.
Meet the 'Puppydog tail' attached to The Mansion. Art?
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| The tail attached to Edna |
Conrad, in an attempt to prove that he's not made out of sugar, takes Edna out on regular walks, and on Sunday evening noticed that - wow! - there were lots of snails about. There must have been a lot as normally I am reciting clerihews and block out the rest of the world thanks to my Creative Process. Then on Monday evening it was the turn of the slugs. Only slugs, no snails. And on Sunday there were only snails, no slugs. Today - neither.
It must mean something, but I can't think what. Any answers in the Comments, please.
I Amuse With Clerihews
The point is not so much whether it amuses you, as whether it amuses me. Since it does, we shall proceed.
Lewis Carroll
Drank ale by the barrel.
Thus he wrote of "Cabbages and kings"
And other strange alcohol-induced things.
More traducing! I don't believe Ol' Lew bothered to over-imbibe, although anyone who's read his works cannot deny that they are strange and fantastical.
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| Soulful, not baleful (and certainly not ale-full) |
Captain W.E. Johns
Dropped bombs.
I do not speak of the literary ones,
Rather those he dropped upon the Huns.
Actually this is rather less an insult and more a statement of fact. Johns was indeed a pilot in the First Unpleasantness, although a bomber rather than a 'scout' pilot (as they called the fighters of the time).
Captain W.E. Johns
Invented "Biggles".
I realise that this does not rhyme
But you can't have clerihews all the time.
In fact I don't believe he was entitled to keep calling himself a captain - you could only keep your military rank in civilian life if you'd gone beyond a certain rank.
Jules Verne
Liked to burn
Ants beneath a magnifying glass.
For a writer he could be a bit of an ass.
Now, this might have happened when he was young and foolish, when the sun was out and ants were running about, but I concede it is unlikely to have happened in his later years.
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| He'd have trouble burning Them! |
* There is a risk it may baffle them completely, also.
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