If You're Unsure What That Means -
It's French for 'Making a 108ยบ Turn' (Hey I found out how to get a 'Degree' symbol!) because in this post we are going to be looking exclusively at what's going on in Ukraine, whereas today's earlier post avoided the subject altogether. Thus if the subject matter either bores or horrifies, you now know enough to avoid it. Art!
So many rotors!
Let's begin with this beast. What you are looking at is a Ruffian helicopter, the Ka-52 'Alligator', so-named because all the really good names had already been taken. I think. Can't really spot any particular resemblance to an alligator. Green colouration? Teeth? A fondness for eating fish?
ANYWAY the distinctive thing about the Al' is the double-rotor arrangement. This isn't new, the Kamov company who make these things have a history of double-rotor helichoptoids, which, if Art will put down his calendar-book of Mara Corday cheesecake photos -
The idea with these double-stacked rotors is that they operate in different directions, thus cancelling out any overall torque, meaning that the helichoptoid doesn't fly around in a circle about it's own vertical axis. That would be a bad thing. Not only would the flight crew get airsickness, their ride would crash. The thing is, having a double-stacked rotor increases your height profile significantly, and on the modern battlefield you want to be as small as possible. Nearly all other helicopters use a tail rotor to counteract torque, and thus have a much smaller cross-section on radar, which matters when your oppos have both radar and anti-aircraft missiles. The Ruffians like to brag about how it's so survivable. Ahem. They lost 4 Al's within days of the 'Special' Military Operation beginning. O and apparently it has an ejection-seat system for the crew if things go pear-shaped, which means the rotors stop rotating as they eject (hopefully) so they have the choice of crash and burn or slice and dice. Art!
Like this but with added terror
Okay, Intro - what you might call The Tale Of A Tail - is over.
Enter The Terminator
NO! Nothing to do with Arnold or Skynet. No, we are talking about a Ruffian armoured fighting vehicle, one that they are passionately proud of, and which featured in the rather low-key Victory Parade on 9th May. Art!
Hey, they nick-named it. Expect James Cameron to sue.
It mounts two 30 mm cannon (aplologies for using Metric), missile-launchers, grenade-launchers and a machine gun, and was designed for urban combat, where it might very well have been at least capable, since it's so recently introduced that idiot conscripts couldn't have mis-managed it's maintenance.
However, during the ferocious months-long battle for Mariupol, an URBAN COMBAT ENVIRONMENT, none were seen. Why not? Conrad suspects the same reasons the T-14 hasn't been seen. These things are rare and expensive, and if they get destroyed Uralvagonzavod cannot replace them. Also, seeing them destroyed by a babushka with a Molotov cocktail thrown from the third storey wouldn't look good on Youtube. Art!
Now that combat is moving into the wide open spaces, of course the Puffy Petrol Pimp has given the go-ahead for their use, because he's an idiot.
Lasers! Dolphins With Lasers Attached To Their Heads!
Don't laugh, the Ruffians have trained dolphins defending their naval base at Sevastopol, from SEALS*. They also claim to have deployed 'Laser Battle Stations' to Ukraine, the truth of which remains to be seen, because you can tell when a Ruffian official is lying: their mouth is moving. Art!
Marvano's comic-book version of "The Forever War" illustrates this point, and I include it here because I shifted an Imperial ton of comics today in order to find a 10-issue run of Dark Horse comics that are an unofficial sequel to "The Thing" and which Darling Daughter expressed an interest in.
"Who The Hell Builds Those Missiles"
Sorry, couldn't resist, it's a lyric from The Sound's "Jeopardy" album and it sums up a critique that President Zed made of Ruffian missile bombardment of his homeland. He states that the Ruffian hordes have fired 2,154 missiles at Ukraine, and then mocks their 'Wunder-Waffen' reliance on Laser Battle Stations. Conrad, via various means and metrics, understood that the Ruffians had an arsenal of 2,000 Iskander missiles and the last he knew they had fired 1,500 of these - at £6 million a pop. £12 billion expended if they've fired off their total arsenal. Art!
A metaphorical Number Two
The thing is, the Votkinsk THE JOKES KEEP WRITING THEMSELVES arsenal that built these missiles is going to have a hard time making any more, since - once again - they need Western electronic components. "Who the hell builds these missiles"? Patently not the Ruffians anymore.
Finally -
In what probably amounts to squeaky-bum time for her crew, Tsar Poutine has announced that the Black Sea Fleet's new flagship is the 'Admiral Makarov', a mere frigate as opposed to the cruiser 'Moskva', and it's stretching things to call it a frigate. A 'corvette with pretensions' is closer to the truth, according to folk wise in naval matters. Art!
And for comparison -
This news will doubtless inspire and hearten crewmen, except they'll be the Ukrainian anti-ship missile battery crewmen poised over their Neptune or Harpoon ordnance. There are unconfirmed rumours that the Makarov is in dry dock, having already been damaged by a missile attack.
* Military in-joke for you there.
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