Be Still, You Wriggling Cow!

I Know What You're Thinking
And no, I am not taking a cheap shot at some vapid celebritute who's pining for the spotlight, though if Conrad were to put <insert talentless gimboid who is only famous thanks to an expensive agent here> you'd all purse your lips and nod, musing that people with names beginning with "K" do seem to tell you all about how their liposuction and lunch went, with pictures of both.  Art?

Art, you bafoon!

     <sigh> yes, that's "Kitchener of Khartoum", a chap with a gimlet stare and a positively volcanic temper when irked.  If you enquired about what he had for lunch you'd get a very peculiar look, and were you rash enough to mention "Liposuction" I imagine he'd slap you so hard your aunt would feel it, for being "lewd".
     No, what I wanted to blather about in today's Intro was a word that came up in the MEN's Codeword.  Art?

 

     Ooops.  Sorry about the rotation.  I refer to "Undulates", which as we all know has a Latin root: "Undula" or "Wave" and thus we get our modern word that can mean an entity with a wavy motion.  Wriggling, if you will.
     Well, you know Conrad.  A mind that jumps from topic to topic with absolutely no encouragement.
     "How strange!" I pondered.  "That word is only three letters away from "Ungulates".  I wonder where that word comes from?"
     I'm so glad I asked myself that question.  Latin is the answer, of course - from "Ungula", meaning "Hoof", in reference to hooved animals that have either odd or even-numbered cloven hooves.  Art?

Thus

     And there you have today's modest yet informative Intro.
     No, motley, that's not a cow.  It's a bull, and you're in it's field.  I suggest you -

Jumping Madly To A Completely Different Topic -
Conrad does not often comment on painted art, as, along with Politics, Religion, Current Affairs and whether Bake Off should have stayed with the BBC, it divides opinion.  Your Humble Scribe has a fondness for the lithograpy of Escher and Piranesi, for the sensuality of Klimt's mature works, and Italian Futurism.  Also the works of Chris Foss and Bruce Pennington, whom you would know from sci-fi cover art.
     So, let us commune over - 

"Isle of the Dead!

     The most famous painting that Arnold Bocklin ever did, and which was incredibly popular before and after the turn of the twentieth century.  In fact, if times got hard, Ol' Arnie merely did another version of the above, then sold it for £££.
     Part of the picture's appeal is that there is no explanation given for what we're looking at: you can see a boat being rowed to an island where various rooms or tombs have been carved out of the living rock, the whole dominated by cypress trees, and that's it.
     Conrad, of course, has his own tasteless modern interpretation.

"My God!  I can't believe I bought a timeshare in this!"

     Your mileage may vary.

Whilst On The Subject Of Art
I did threaten you with a narrative about one of the comic strips I used to read as a smaller and younger version of myself, didn't I?  Namely "The Steel Claw".  Conrad had never seen or read the origin story, mostly because it was published years before the comics I was reading, and all you had to go on was the expository blurb in a panel at the beginning of each strip. 
     However.  Lucky you - I have a couple of photographs for you.  Art?

     No, that's merely a symbolic Steel Claw at starboard.  Louis, you see, lost his right hand in a laboratory accident, and had it replaced with a steel one, which is incredibly well-designed.  It gives him the full span of a normal hand's functions, as well as being rather handy in a fist fight.
     Anyway, the origins - Art?

     As you can see - do you see what I did - O you do - when Louis undergoes a high-voltage and amperage electric shock, he becomes invisible, as does what he's wearing at the time, all except for his steel claw.
     For the first series Louis was out to extort, blackmail and nuclear-bomb his way to wealth and riches by using his invisibility.  Professor Barringer, exhibiting a saintly level of compassion and guilt, manages to track Louis down before he destroys New York, and persuades him to undergo therapy, arguing that the initial explosion and electrical assault had temporarily deranged him.
     And from then on, Louis is on the side of good.  Hoorah!  Art?

Steady on, Louis - you sound like a junkie chasing a fix!

     The excellent and moody artwork was by the Spanish artist Jesus Blasco, a fitting match for Crandell, who finds himself infamous for all the wrong reasons.  I am currently 147 pages into the compilation discovered earlier this week, which has <ahem> led to BOOJUM! taking a back seat at times*.  
     You definitely would NOT be able to run stories like this one nowadays, as the moral guardians of our Health and Safety would jib instantly lest young and stupid readers mimicked their hero, wrapping tinfoil around their hands and finding high-tension power lines to grab onto, ending up as ash.  Yes, the world has moved on and is in some ways a better place for it bring back lead paint and glassblowing kits for children!

Art - no.  NO!  Entirely the wrong kind of Ash.
O I give up.  Vulnavia, bring me my trough of gin.

Finally - 
One consequence of Covid-19 has been the complete suspension of the ballfoot game, which leaves Your Humble Scribe in a state of icy disconcern, as he is not remotely interested in it.  Thus it was he read with some surprise in Wednesday's MEN that they were boasting about SIX PAGES of coverage re. The Manchester United and Manchester Town (I think, I don't really pay that much attention).

The United City of Manchester

     How on earth can you have one page, let alone half a dozen, when there isn't any ballfoot being played?
     With the announcement that it is to return in June, however, there is hope for my horrid hate-filled heart.  Art?

Ignore ballfoot players
(and thumb)

     In case your optics are weak, that's 2,501 Comments, which will be a septic stew of shrieking sewage - which is the best kind of Comment to read!

     And with that, we are so truly done.  Done done done!


*  And a big "So What"? to you all.  It's not as if you have to pay to read this stuff, is it?
Heck, even a Comment or two would be nice.