- and nobody bothering to read it, Conrad has decided to be more of a happy chappy, with the careful use of lovely cuddly bunnies, the better to pull viewers in.
Take a look at these chaps:
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| Ah yes. Well, they may be killers - but they are still bunnies! |
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| Oh my! Not - er, not what BOOJUM! intended |
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| Oh no! It's the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog! RUN AWAY! |
Okay, Conrad admits defeat about fluffy bunnies. Let us move on.
"Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead"
Thus spake Chris, team leader and very occasional feature in these columns, this morning.
Conrad's computer-like mind* raced to a decision - after all, Margaret Thatcher is a long time gone.
"Chris!" I criticised. "That's a horrible thing to say about Maya Angelou!"
Ah. Well, now, how was Conrad to know? We are sailing dangerously close to current affair-commentary here, but apparently a man called "Michael Glazer" had died overnight.
Hmmm, mused Conrad, bad news indeed if you wanted your windows fixing -
"No, you baffoon!" chortled Chris. "He owned Manchester United. The football club," he added, seeing a look of blank incomprehension facing him.
"Ah!" I countered. "George Best - he plays for them. Can't fool me!"
Not sure why Chris did a facepalm and walked off.
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| Golf Club. Close enough |
World's Most Expensive Taxi
If you were to travel by black cab for six hours, you'd expect to rack up a bill of several hundred pounds, correct?
Wrong! Try a bill of several million pounds instead.
Admittedly the taxi is a Soyuz capsule, and it sits atop this missile:
| "No eating in the back. And if you're sick, you pay for it." |
It's taking a crew of three up to the International Space Station for a six month holiday in near space, before it brings them back down.
Probably not on a Saturday night, though ...
SPACEPLANE!
I just like the sound of that word. Let me try it again: SPACEPLANE!
Yeah. Very Gerry Anderson, except it might actually get to be real in the near future as a cheaper alternative to the Ariane rocket system, for delivering telecom satellites. Let's have a quick look at SPACEPLANE! thanks to Auntie Beeb:
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| NNNNNNYYYYEEEEOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW! |
Big things going really, really fast. What's not to like?
Frilly Butterflies
| Swarm attack - RUN AWAY! |
Yeah, don't let their fragility fool you. Remember that classic documentary series from the late Sixties, "The Invaders"? Intrepid investigator David Vincent and his camera team sought out alien skullduggery across America, including one where these evil interlopers were seeking to overthrow the very boundaries of Mother Nature, by breeding carnivorous butterflies.
That's right, killer carnivorous butterflies. Yeech! Makes one's skin crawl.
Not only that, in the genre-defining novel "Schismatrix", Bruce Sterling has a protagonist killed early on by what? That's right - killer butterflies**.
* That is, it crashes, needs rebooting often and is rapidly becoming obsolete
** They might have been moths. It's been a long time.
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