SIT BACK DOWN!
Don't worry so, this is only tangentially related to that horrorshow going on in Ukraine, I promise, because today's Intro concerns -
LITHIUM WAFER BATTERY DE
O - no, sorry. Ignore that. Today's Intro concerns -
INTERNATIONAL GEO-POLITICS!
Yes yes yes, I know that one of our tenets is that we steer clear of Politics. Sue me. Besides, this is Historical, so I have an out. You ought to know BOOJUM! by now, we are an unreliable witness in addition to having exactly 0% scruples about generating traffic. I would do a back-flip into a giant vat of custard if it would bring in more visitors*. Art!
Vietnamese McDonalds. It's a thing.
Today we look at Ruffia and the Populous Dictatorship, whom people seem to think are bezzie mates and have been since forever. Bloaty Gas Tout, once his 'Special' Military Operation had obviously gone awry, immediately went cap in hand to the Populous Dictatorship asking for money and lots of it. Emperor Xi gave him a dirty look and that was all; his economy is ten times bigger than Dimya's economy and he's not going to risk any of that being sanctioned. IF he did agree the bill would probably be -
SIBERIA! Because the Populous Dictatorship maintains that it was taken away from poor delicate helpless China by wicked unscrupulous hirsute Russia and they're going to get it back one day.
ANYWAY
Um. No.
The Populous Dictatorship and the Sinister Union had a very acrimonious parting of the ways in 1961 and were at daggers drawn for decades. Since both sides possessed an arsenal of ICBMs they were wary of overt conflict. However ... Art!
Meet the Ussuri River, which forms a border between the two dictatorships, and where there was a border war in the late Sixties. That large, unprepossessing island in the middle? Damansky Island. This is where the Populous Dictatorship deliberately ambushed Sinister troops in an escalation of smaller skirmishes. Eventually the Chinese pushed the Sinisters off the island after a long series of ineffectually-organised Sinister counter-attacks (sound familiar?). The Sinisters then blasted everything on the island flat with a massive rocket barrage (sound familiar) and claimed victory. Mind you, so did the Chinese. And they managed to salvage a T-62 in a <insert rude gesture here> to the Sinisters.
O to be a fly on the wall
In fact the Sinisters were so terrified of an Asiatic irruption onto their territory that they floated the idea of a joint US/USSR nuclear attack in the early Seventies, to which the South Canadians loudly replied NO!
So there we are.
Attar Of Roses
Another thank you to Steve and Oscar for bringing this to the fore of my mind, for no very good reason. Your Humble Scribe held that it was an essential oil that came in a bottle, except when I Googled for it, this came up. Art!
Pelargonium Graveolensis
Flowers. Can you eat them? No? Conrad promptly loses interest.
ANYWAY - Art?
Vindicated!
O and apparently you can use the petals to make a cordial, which is almost like being able to eat if not quite, if you like drinking perfume. Wonder if they use it in Thai cooking?
Cover Me
As you should surely know by now, Conrad is a dinosaur with habits, behaviours and preferences generated in the mists of the Paleozoic Era**. Thus it is with physical publications; Conrad likes to hold the book, newspaper or magazine in his hot sweaty paws. Kindle? Get out of here!
Hence "Empire" the film magazine, which very probably has a website that Conrad cannot be bothered to look up. I'll leave that chore to you, I've got things to do. Art!
You, gentle reader, won't get the opportunity to purchase this version, it's only for the Special People like Your Humble Scribe who have a subscription. Of course - obviously! - they want you to try and identify all the films referenced here, which would be simultaneously sad and awesome. I'll let you know
Shades Of Kolchack
I refer, of course, to the inimitable and excellent "Kolchak The Night Stalker" which you are the poorer for if you've never seen it. Art!
As you should surely know by now, it begins with an incongruously light and frothy theme tune, which becomes more sinister by the second, until the credits sequence ends with Kolchak turning to look with utter shock at A Dreadful Something as the office fan suddenly comes to a dead stop -
Enter Conrad's workplace at the top of the Dark Tower. We have air-conditioning that runs from before 08:00 and which is a constant background presence. After a few days it becomes part of the sonic landscape and people ignore it.
Until 18:00.
Which is when it abruptly stops. Your Humble Scribe noticed because he's there until 18:10.
"This is how a horror film starts," opined Rob, our Team Lead, looking very unsettled. As well he might, he watches lots of 'em. I wonder if he'll turn up tomorrow? Or will there simply be a big pool of congealing blood where he was sitting, and an upside-down cross?
Finally -
Conrad pontificates again about Dimya's 'Special' Military Operation, so you may skip this bit if you like BUT THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES O SUCH CONSEQUENCES it's your choice. Don't forget, I know where you live.
If you want a glance at the bigger picture, then be aware that the Ukrainians reaching the Ruffian border north of Kharkhiv is big news. Art!
Konrad presumes the lighter-coloured scarlet spread is recent Ruffian acquisitions. The Ruffians originally had 22 Battalion Tactical Groups around Izyum, their highest concentration of force in the whole of occupied Ukraine, except they had to transfer 4 of these north to prevent any Ukrainian attacks on Volchansk or Kupiansk, which are major logistic hubs. They are now having to react to the Ukrainians, not the other way round, and the Ukrainians have chosen this moment to mount a counter-attack at Izyum. If this process of getting inside their opponents 'decision-loop' (as the buzzword boys bray) continues the Ukrainians are going to win big. If their morale was sky-high in defence of their nation, what's it going to be if they kick Ruffian bottom and drive them out?
Conrad, for all his interest in matters military, sincerely hopes the whole bloody business is over as soon as possible, because the real victims are millions of completely innocent Ukrainian civilians.
There you go, ending on a serious note for once.
* When I say "I", what I really mean is the Motley.
** No idea if this is a valid epoch or not, only that it sounds cool.
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