Trust Me On This

If You Are Reading This -
Then take it for granted that I know a whole lot more about the Third Ypres campaign than you do.  Oh, and thermonuclear missiles as well, but we'll save that for another day.  Not only have I read countless books about Third Ypres, I have on my PC a breakdown of the British and German forces involved, down to the Battalion level for the British, and the Regiments for our Teuton cousins. It's a very long document and if you're not good I shall post it on-line and make you read it.
     So!  Given the magazine cover below, what could I do but buy it?  Art?

The issue in question

     For the military history snob, you simply don't call the campaign "Passchendaele", as this name strictly applies to only the last two battles, where the Canadians actually captured the village, or rather the three bricks of it that remained.
     I've also wargamed the opening battle, using the highly effective "Square Bashing" rules from Peter Pig*, and the end result was pretty much as in real life - the British break into the German positions, not through them, and the pile of dead units was high for both sides.
     If you want to read an excellent account of what it was like to be present on the Ypres front, during one of the quieter times, you can't do better than read "A Passionate Prodigality" by Guy Chapman.  It is a splendid corrective to those who argue that war is a noble thing, as it gets across the horror and squalor in equal parts.

Not an easy read, but a compelling one

     Anyway, that's got nothing to do with what I really wanted to say, which is that I found a recipe for Cucumber Ice Cream in the magazine above.  Yes, really.  It includes a recommendation to take it out of the freezer every half hour to stir; this is necessary to break up the ice crystals and dates from when the recipe originated, in 1880.  Today, however, we have the ICE CREAM MAKER! which gives me hope, for I found a recipe for ice cream in that diabetic cookbook, too.  Ice cream maker no longer destined for scrap heap.

(Sighs with relief)

     Nor is that all, for what's this?  Art?

     Why it's an historically-themed crossword, with prizes to boot.  Yes, I did resort to Google, but only for two clues, which isn't bad for this old dog.
     Right, that's the Intro out of the way, let us proceed to the meat of the motley!

So You Want To Be A Supervillain?
Henchmen and how to get them.  First rule of hiring your evil henchpeople is - never call them minions.  That's dismissive and insulting.  
     Okay, when advertising, precis your intentions wisely - don't alert the FBI, NATO or The Avengers** by stating "Apprentice World Dictator seeks 20 henchpersons for blah blah blah".  Instead you need to approach it like "Do you like a challenge?  Bucking the mainstream?  Breaking rules?  Then apply to Vacancy 930812."
     NB While it is okay to allow your m- henchpeople to die valiantly-if-villainously 
protecting yourself or carrying out your heinous schemes, it is very unwise to kill them in a fit of temper.  Yes, Batman may have thwarted your plan to hijack Airforce One; that's no excuse to shoot one or two of you m- henchpeople dead.  Word gets around and you won't get any more replacemennts.  A P45 is more humane and has tax benefits.

It can never be yours!

And Finally -
Great to see that website of the bizarre and baffling, "Atomic Toasters", is back in action.  Yes, there are blogs out there more random than BOOJUM! which is a good thing, as it gives me a reassuring sense of being normal.  One post deals with an artefact so daft that you wonder it existed at all, but there are photographs.
     Behold, the Hiller Pawnee!  Art?

Wait, what?

     Supposedly this was meant to be a scout.  Yes, except it would be useless against anything but a Boy Scout.  It could only carry 160 lbs, which means Conrad couldn't use it, and anyone who did would have to choose:  do I carry my radio, OR my rifle, OR my binoculars?  It would instantly draw attention thanks to the jet engine's roaring, which would also prevent the target pilot from hearing anything, including people shooting at him.  And look ma!  Here I am entirely out of cover.
     Remind me again, with ideas like this how did the South Canadians become a world power***?


*  Nothing to do with Peppa, thanks.
** John Steed and Emma Peel iteration, thanks.
***  Thermonuclear weapons is a clue, I suppose.  But that's for later.