Your humble scribe is still patently traumatised by the terrifying prospect of Darjeeling tea becoming scarce, and even more expensive than it already is. It's not currently as expensive as tobacco yet who knows what the future brings*?
I refer, of course, to that film which features a terrifying Dennis Hopper. If you only know him as the self-sacrifcing dad in "True Romance" or the hippy photog in "Apocalypse Now", see him in this and be prepared for an uneasy sleep.
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| Still not apologising |
Before you ask, yes, pickers are people. They march up and down the lines of tea bushes, picking the leaves in a chore that can only be performed by hand. In future, make sure your Darjeeling is Fairtrade, lest the pickers not be remunerated properly.
Conrad is ANGRY!
I know many of you will be thinking "So what?" or "As usual" since 'Angry' is pretty much my default setting. This time I am annoyed by Steve.
Steve - my memory. He rarely gets a mention here as we are normally slandering either Art (the sub-human sloven in charge of pictures), or Oscar, my sub-conscious. Today my Frothing Nitric Ire is focused on Steve, because he forgot to include my notebook in my workbag. Thus it comes to be that any inspirational jottings have to share line space with stuff about work. Art? Put that plate of coal down and get working!
I mean, all those great puns about films rendered as types of tea - it detracts from the purity of my art if that gets sandwiched between calls from managers or discount cards.
Twice As Nice
As you should surely know by now, Conrad is a big fan of the BBC dramatic reconstruction program "Doctor Who", and also of the South Canadian documentary film-maker John Carpenter**. Less well known is John's deft ability with guitar and keyboard; he scores his own films.
So! imagine how my soul shone when I discovered this:
It's the "Doctor Who" theme done as it would be if JC were playing it, and jolly convincing it is too. If you want to hear the real thing, and how could you not, here's the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPzulODLeD8
Great stuff! Almost good enough to dull the pain of no Darjeeling.
So You Want To Be A Supervillain?
Let us continue with the Dummies Guide For Would-Be Dictators, with the usual proviso that some of what follows may not be entirely true, lest you compete too effectively with Conrad, whose plan for World Domination is coming along nicely, thanks for asking.
Hang on, let me just check and see if The Mystery Jets are still together - phew! yes - it was just a rather strenuous video shoot.
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| They filmed 'Doctor Who' there, you know |
These are comparatively rare in the Supervillain world, and for good reason. See Method 5 in that earlier post (which is, become understudy to an established supervillain and then usurp him). If you were a superhero then you wouldn't need to worry about Robin stabbing you in the back, or Black Canary sabotaging your bow. However, as a supervillain you need eyes everywhere to avoid assassination. Why have a Number Two at all? You can boast and gloat and monologue to them, but a dog would be cheaper and safer. Yes, you could employ a very stupid person as your sidekick to lessen the risk, but why bother? They're no threat, but neither is a budgie.
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| Some dogs less safe than others |
Finally -
Another recipe from my diabetic cookbook, Barley and Greens with Ham, except I used chicken. Which just defines me as a rock and roll rebel. Art? Less coke, more pictures***!
It was pretty tasty stuff, filling too, and thoroughly good for you.
Ah yes the DVDs. Well, I am on a bit of a George Pal thing at the moment, hence WOTW. And after mentioning "The Longest Day" I just had to dig it out. Which took ages, because it was sitting right in front of me.
* The Doctor, obviously.
** How that guy survived to this day is a mystery.
*** The kind that you make fires with, you sleazy-minded rascals!
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