Martian Around

Don't Complain
Because if you do, I will go right back to puns based around tea.  In fact I may resort to them anyway.  Because I can.
     Yes, it is back to "War of the Worlds" in the George Pal version.  If you remember, yesterday I was banging on about the serious tactical weakness of the Martian munters - namely that their force-field barrier has no floor.  Thus nuclear land mines.
     Here an aside.  Doubtless there are some of you out there scoffing at Conrad for postulating such arcana, as such things cannot be. O rly?

Admittedly, a bit big to bury in a hurry

     A nuclear landmine as deployed by Perfidious Albion in the days of the Cold War.
     Well, Conrad continued in his horribly inventive way after determining that these wretched invaders needed a good shoeing.  Rather than a mine, emplace the equivalent of a Livens Projector in the ground, ahead of where you expect these alien bumbletucks to levitate across.  Art?

Reprising last night

     The Livens was simply a large metal tube, enclosed at one one and sunk into the ground, with a baseplate beneath to ensure it didn't dig it's way to Jules Verne territory.  It was fired electrically and could fling a fifty-pound drum of whatever nastiness the Perfidious Albionites filled it with.  Art?

Be vewwy vewwy careful

     We shall be extra-specially nasty and fill our anti-invader cylinders with -

CHLORINE TRIFLOURIDE!!!

     Yes, this positively evil stuff does deserve three exclamation marks, because it is so Dog Buns diabolical.  It will set fire to anything, without any need for an open flame, including stuff like Teflon, glass, concrete, nearly all metals, organic matter and invaders from Mars.  In fact if you add it to ash, it will set fire to the ash.  It also explodes on contact with water, forming hydrochloric acid and hydroflouric acid, neither of which are good for your health.
     There now.  That's Conrad come up with two war-winning wonder weapons, in the space of two days, when the combined forces of Earth couldn't manage.  I think that says something about me* .

More Of Alien Invaders
Conrad's assertion that what cunningly masquerades as jib cranes are actually sisnister alien invaders in disguise now has additional PROOF!  For all you need is to gaze on the evidence below.  Art?

Look at 'em, the sneaky rascals

     Where did they come from?  Tell me that.  You can't can you?  When did they arrive?  Overnight.  That's how they suddenly appear, teleported in from the mothership.  Mark my words, once they've carried out their espionage - their insidious espionage - they will vanish overnight.  
     Of course, if you want some quality advice on how to deal with sinister alien invaders, you know exactly where to come ...

So You Want To Be A Supervillain?
Lest you be alarmed, take comfort that there's not much of this guide left to transcribe, and it'll probably be  over and done in a couple of days.  At which point you can go out and put it's principles into practice.
     Of course, since I myself intend to take over the world, maybe I'm just setting you up to fail in order to get rid of the opposition Good Luck!

If Things Go Wrong
Resisting arrest depends on who's doing the arresting.  Feeble police can be dismissively repelled with your non-lethal Invisi-sphere of Transparent Rubber, or the incredibly potent Coma Gas, or even tackled with a good roundhouse punch, if you don't mind getting a few lumps yourself.  If it's the Justice League, remember that they are highly moral, and will almost certainly not kill you.  Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher, on the other hand, should be surrendered to immediately he shows up.

If not sooner!

     Memorise the phone number of a good lawyer, preferably one with low moral standards.  Revise the layout, staff and practices of local prisons. Or state/supermax ones if you've been very naughty.  Make sure you look good in court; a smart suit is quite enough, no need to rub people's noses in it with a fresh carnation every day.  Can you get bail? - have a stash of cash set aside, as nobody else, and I mean NOBODY, will stand bail on your behalf* * .  

"Whaddya mean, half a billion for bail?"

     Do you have good drama skills?  If so, work on a speech to wow the judge and jury.  If not, keep trap shut, just try to look sad.  Hire an actress to play the part of Grieving Wife and pay her extra to bring along small children.

*  Good?  Bad?  Only you can tell!
* *   Don't sob into your drink, it's the price you pay for attempting World Domination