Brew Romance

I'm Doing You A Flavour 

Ha!   The Quentin Tara and Chris Slater film, for your information, back when both were worth watching.  And yes, I can keep this up forever.  FOREVER!  Although I shall probably get bored of tea-based puns and move on before then.

     In the meantime –

     There are those who allege your humble scribe goes through his day unaware of the world around him, being rather more occupied by the party in his head going on 24/7 – sorry, neighbours! – than sordid reality.

     Not true!  Well, not completely true.  Okay, okay, MOSTLY true.  Here is evidence to the contrary.  Art?

     Never come across this before, despite working in the city centre of Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell for over 5 years.  I wonder what’s being filmed?  No mention made here, and as I have the unpleasant suspicion that it’s a soap opera, I shan’t expend any energy upon finding out. 

     You may politely inform if discovered.

What On Earth? A.K.A. WoE

This is BOOJUM!’s far more polite equivalent of other blog’s “WTF”, because we pride ourselves here on being SFW.  Worryingly obsessed with nuclear weapons, yes, but still SFW.

     Anyway, this picture is nothing but WoE made concrete.  Art?

Waffle wrapped in piffle

“Extensive VMware optimised hyper-converged and hybrid cloud portfolio”

     What?  What the hell are they blathering on about?  Why did this come up on my Twitter feed when I have no idea what they’re going on about, let alone any interest?  What is a cloud portfolio?  What is WMware and can it help to stir the milk into my porridge – because if not, GET OUT OF HERE!

“The power of hyper-converged  infrastructure”

     What?  What makes it hyper-converged?  Scratch that, I really don’t care.  Really, the modern world.  We didn’t need this stuff when Britain ran most of the civilised places, did we?

     Bah!

Circular Error Probable

As I admitted above, worryingly interested in the big bang nucl – er – foofoodillies*  Foofoodillies.  Yeah.  Them.

     I don’t have my notes with me**, so I cannot remember what that Nork fossil clad in a general’s suit gave as the range of their Dingdong missile, but I seem to recall that it was about 5,000 miles, if that.  No, I can’t be bothered to go look it up.  My word alone should be good enough for you.

     The error he gave for the MPI (Mean Point of Impact) because you can’t use a statistical term like CEP for a single missile, was 7 miles.  11 kilometres if you like using those horrid metric terms.

Titan: made to dig craters, big time

     Now, to be truly ICBM, your missile needs a range of 11,000 miles, or double what the range to Guam is, which means at least doubling your MPI.  Thus, if the Sulky Fat Lad were indeed trying to hit CONUS (Continental United States) with his Dingdongs, the MPI would be of the order of 15 miles.

     This is execrable accuracy.  As mentioned previously, these things are so inaccurate that you’d risk hitting Guam if they were pointed in that general direction, and with the Horny One sitting in the White House that’s not a mistake you want to make.

     If your missiles are that inaccurate, the only chance you have of destroying a target is by having a whacking big thermonuclear warh – foofoodilly and, as the quaint South Canadian term goes, “dig ‘em out in the craters”.

     However!  The Norks plainly have not detonated a thermonuclear wea – foofoodilly yet.  The seismic readings for their underground tests are pretty puny, frankly, and only reveal a fission capability.  Some of these might be “fizzles” or unsuccessful fusion detonations where the primary has gone off but there’s not been any fusion.

     Like we said – worryingly interested!

Underground test subsidence craters in Utah

Shakespoke

I bet if Windbag Willy knew that, centuries later, he’d be getting mocked over his excrutiating  prose, he’d have given up.  In fact, if I can get The Doctor to focus for long enough (she has a short attention span) I may try to – well, enough plotting (UNIT are always watching) for the moment.

     So!  Let the mockery motley begin.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

No!  Bill, there’s just no way.

Our summers here are grey and grim,

And wet and soggy and malingering.

     All true.  You can count on the talons of one hand the number of actual days with sunshine that we’ve experienced in the Pond since the start of summer.  Which technically ends today, no mean feat when it hasn’t ever started in the first place.

We are a hopeful lot

*  This will fool not only IT but UNIT and MI5

**  I like saying this as it makes me sound important