50 Shades Of Earl Grey

(Yes, back with the tea-based puns, and this is one I nicked from Rosie last night.  Thanks, Rosie.)

This is by way of an experiment, since I am typing this at work – not going to do it directly on BOOJUM! as that risks the unsleeping eye of IT peering over my virtual shoulder, and they may not like what they see.  This is also the reason I left out reference to NERVE GAS and BUBONIC PLAGUE, which I will now add in.  

     Really.  The sacrifices I make for art - this took up most of my lunchtime, you know.

Back To The Future

So to speak – in the year 1953 George Pal was looking forward to the Martian invasion of Earth – er – that is, he was imagining the invasion, not that he wanted it to take place.   George = no traitor*.  We are back to fomenting discord and despondency amongst the insidious invaders, focusing once more on that bell-jar shaped protective force-field.  Frankly, I think the militaries of Earth are slacking on the job – I’m coming up with all the ideas here.  If you Hom. Sap. Do get invaded by Martians and successfully repel them, I expect royalties.

 - or you could just make me royalty

     Anyway.  Conrad was wondering – can air diffuse across those force-field barriers?  Or do the Martian craft recycle their air?  Probably the latter, given their journey from Mars and how long that takes.  That Force-Field Barrier (hereafter FFB) is, obviously, transparent, so you could target their heat-ray weapon with a laser.  Except perhaps not, in 1953.

Evil ideas Copyright Conrad

     Actually, strike that last paragraph and recycling as a concept.  Having watched the end of the film, we see the Martians brought low by terrestrial micro-organisms – so they do breathe Earth’s air.  In which case NERVE GAS – or BUBONIC PLAGUE bombs!  Because the so-called FFB is permeable at the molecular level.

     I could go on about this – and will do.  Mercifully for yourselves, not here.

Martians:  poor social skills and no impulse control

Meanwhile, Back In Dangerland …

Conrad, your ever-diligent scribe**, was swotting up on Chlorine Triflouride and how hazardous it is – in a class of it’s own, really – when he came across Dioxygen Diflouride, chemical formula O₂F₂, nicknamed “FOOF” after it’s formula and what it tends to do.  Chemists with a sense of humour, eh?  That is, it tends to go “Bang” when it comes into contact with – er – well, everything, actually.  Essentially this stuff is an explosion looking for an opportunity to happen.  ANY opportunity.  Because it goes BANG at the slightest excuse, it has nil practical applications, and one wonders how bored the rascals who invented it must have been.

More bored people: an explosive bullet filled with FOOF

DR. X:  Slow day in the lab.

DR. Z:  I know.  Where’s a nearby Apprentice World Dictator when you need them?

DR. X:  Let’s invent something!

DR. Z: Something … dangerous …

DR. X:  Hmm.  Chlorine Triflouride’s been taken already.

DR. Z:  But – but – it must contain Flourine!  It MUST!

DR. X:  Don’t worry, it will.  Oh, how it will …

(One of them was a bit careless)

     The thing about FOOF is that it desperately wants to separate into oxygen and flourine, and it will do unless stored at temperatures well below 100 Degrees C.
     Flourine, lest you be unaware, as a gas will spontaneously ignite practically anything it comes into contact with (makes further notes for dealing with Martian twonks).

Wondering About That Woman

I attach a photograph of the poster obtained from Manchester Comic Con.  It doesn’t yet grace the walls of my Sekrit Layr, but it will.  Please read carefully.  Art?

     Actually you'll just have to use your imagination, Blogger's Picture link ability has gone up the spout and I'm not taking another 20 minutes to add in a single picture.

     Now, let me append that, by this point in the war, it was the Allies who were gifting artillery shells full of mustard gas on Teuton positions.  Vile stuff, mustard gas, and the average Teuton stubble-hopper must have been cursing Fritz Haber for ever inventing gas warfare.  The thing is, because it's such vile stuff, whoever was using it avoided any area contaminated with same, so they had no idea what damage it had done.

Tasteful, and close enough

    Well, that's enough for today.  I now need to go do the weekly shop, and see what remaindered offal is going cheap that I may dine tonight.  Chin chin!

*  Conrad – a whole other story.

**  This is a lie – the truth courtesy Mister Hand