Life Is Grate

No!  It Is Spelled Correctly
By now you ought to appreciate that language does what Conrad tells it to do, and that if there is a particular spelling, it's there for a reason.  In this case, a bad pun.  You lot out there being the skeptics you are, allow me to provide a smidgeon of evidence for the adroitness with letters claim.  Art?

     This is Friday's Wordsquare, where the targets were 26 words for Good, 35 words for Very Good and 44 for Excellent - and I've got 38 without having to reach for my Collins Concise Dictionary.  This, by the way, is after completing the Codeword and both Gogen word puzzles.
     So, "Grate" it is.
     Nor do I refer to that Haunted House In Space film, "Life", which, as I recall, was rather dull and bereft of vivacity.
     What I mean is the amusing lampshade decoration at Northern Soul, where I dined last week before seeing "Dunkirk" (which see later) and probably consumed my entire week's permitted allocation of cheese*.  Art?

     Suprisingly I have failed to use this photograph, and as I like to exploit everything i can lay my hands on in terms of generating content, here we are.
     So, "Grate" it is.
     For another thing, the omnipresent deluge from the heavens has ceased - for the moment - and we are now experiencing a barrage of infra-red and visible spectrum radiation, which is known as "sunlight".
     And on that unusually bright and cheery note, let the motley be taken forth in chains.

VERY BAD NEWS INDEED!
In fact it's so bad I almost thought about using TWO exclamation marks, until I realised that would be unseemly and unBritish and, frankly, a touch Continental in it's hysteria.
     "Ha!" I hear you snicker.  "It's always amusing when your supplies of Marmite run low and you react badly."
     Pausing only to take note of your lack of sympathy, and to assure you there will be consequences, I shall explain.  Art?

Extra-large to share the horror all the better

     It transpires that there is political unrest in the Indian state of West Bengal, and the tea-pickers have been on strike for two months, so the tea bushes that produce Darjeeling tea leaves have gone "free growth" and are full of weeds.  It might take a year -  A YEAR! - phew nearly used two exclamation marks there - before proper full-scale tea picking gets underway again.

Likely to become rare.  A WHOLE YEAR!

     And this is important because a couple of pots of loose leaf Darjeeling (Fairtrade of course) are what your humble scribe imbibes over the weekend.  Thank the lord aloft that I laid in 5 packets last time I was in Sainsbury's; I am now seriously considering a trip into Babylon-lite to buy up all the packets on the shelves, just to be certain of a supply.
     This item will probably mystify anyone not living in the Pond or the Commonwealth, but it's big news here - that photograph above is from the BBC's website, so I'm glad to see they're taking it seriously.
     I mean - A YEAR!!

Oh my goodness - over 500 words in and all I've done is rant about tea.  How very British.

How Very British
On Friday the fire alarm at work is tested - did I tell you I was back at work?  O I did - and Conrad couldn't help considering it to be ever so British.

     "Can I please have your attention?"

      - it began, ever so politely, as if regretting that it had to intrude on your training session in the first place.  Idly, I wondered how different nations would manage their own version.  We can definitely replicate the South Canadian iteration:

"Fire!  There's a goddam fire!  Bruce Willis and Kurt Russell are en route, but meantime EVACUATE YOUR ASSES OUT OF THERE!"

     I don't think you can argue with that.  I wonder what our thorough Teuton cousins would have as their message.  Oscar?

     

     "Achtung!  Dort is ein feur im der Gebaude.  Evakuiren versichtig.  Danke."

     Ah, I see, "carefully".  No tripping on the stairs or carrying drinks, either, thanks.

German efficiency encapsulated

     I was going to follow-up with a quite horrid skit on the Norks, although it was too tasteless even for me.  So, instead, have a picture of a Swedish S-tank.  Art?

Sweet!

*  Worth it though.  Delicious.