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Tuesday 8 August 2017

Still Grieving -

 - About Tea Leaving
Ha!  Do you see what - O you do.  Yes, your humble scribe is still reeling about lack of Darjeeling, and I was going to lead with "Assamurai Jack" until I realised many of you will not comprehend - Assam being an Indian state where a brand of tea is grown.  "Samurai Jack" you had better be intimately familiar with, or there will be trouble.  
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If you don't recognise this, I will be at your door shortly.
     Don't forget, India is the world's biggest democracy, which ought to be enough for those tea-pickers to get back to work as soon as possible, namaste.
     This is a very short Intro, as we have a lot to get through and there will be a test later.

"The Rain Hung In Sheets From The Sky"
It's a quote from one of The Comsat Angels songs, although I forget which one.  The coffee was bluer than usual, that much I do recall.
     "What is the sottish old rascal babbling on about now?" I hear you query, and pausing only to track down your ISP to infect it with a Trojan, I shall explain.
     It won't take long.  Art?
     

     The soggy, sordid scene at the bus stop this morning.  If I possessed a canoe I could have floated all the way into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell.  The rain did indeed hang in sheets from the sky, and then it laid down in sheets on the ground, and upon the dwellers thereon.

Dave Lister And Zero-G Football
You know, that loveable slob from "Red Dwarf".  Do you recall way back when, the episode where he gets his hands on a recording of a full season of Zero-G football?  His response implied that he was going to be off watching it for quite some time*.
     Similar thing here.  Art?
     I uncovered this whilst digging through a pile of old paperwork, and whoopee hoorah, my laptop allows me to access all the books on the First Unpleasantness held upon it.  Goodbye spare time - I checked on one volume and it came to 192 pages.  This is but one book of many, so there are many thousands of pages present, and of course your humble scribe needs to read them all.  ALL OF THEM!
     Plus, this is only Disk 1 of 2.
     ALL OF THEM!
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Saluting out of respect
     Whilst on the subject of futuristic spacecraft, the 24 bus I was on last night had a rather frightening way of reproducing some of the sound effects from "Forbidden Planet", causing your humble scribe to keep a weather eye on his fellow passengers.  The ones he could see, at any rate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSFoILcyqAU

     A link to the Barron's "Electric Tonalities" from that film.  They weren't allowed to call what they composed "music" as they weren't union members.

So You Want To Be A Supervillain?
After all, a man's gotta have a hobby, as the Preacher in "The Goon" proudly announces whilst constructing his Giant Zombie Chimp.
     Criminal Sidekicks Or Underlings
     Not to be confused with mi - henchmen.  These are your senior support staff.  I did warn you that a budgie or dog is a safer bet, yet if your ego DEMANDS an understudy, choose wisely.  They need to be dumb enough not to be a threat, yet sufficiently able to keep things ticking over when you're on your hols.  They must be loyal - or impressively blackmailed.  And make sure, whatever your genders or sexuality, that you don't fancy them.  Many an aspiring supervillain (or, more rarely, supervillainess) is now a working dad with a mortgage and two kids - thanks to falling for their sidekick.  Although they do have some interesting cosplay items in the back of the wardrobe .....
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Any comment would be superfluous

Talking About Dunkirk -
I know, I know, we weren't - poetic licence don't you know, I'm allowed and besides, whose blog is it?
     In the aftermath of Dunkirk there was a reasonable fear abroad in the Pond that the Teutons might invade, especially as an airborne force.  What to do?  For resources were short and demands long.  How do you protect your airfields from paratroop attack?
     With concrete pillboxes!
     Except, being Perfidious Albion, that wasn't simple enough.  Oh no.  We put our pillboxes on the back of lorries.  Art?
Image result for bison concrete lorry
Last I saw it, those wheels were flat
     In case of airborne attack this monstrosity could be driven onto airfield runways, both to block them, and to defend against anyone dropping in by parachute.
     Perfidious Albion - thinking so far outside the box that we're in the next street.

"Out Of My Way You Drunken Reptiles!"
That chap present on the CD above is Lord Kitchener, who you were best advised not to get on the wrong side of, as his temper made a volcanic explosion look like a Christmas cracker.  He had a very low opinion of the press and newspaper reporters, and the quote above is how he expressed himself on encountering a bunch of them.  No nonsense about Political Correctness from K of K!
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The man had a point
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A very good point

*  This is Conrad's code for "I can't 1) remember what it was and 2)  be bothered to look it up" - the unalloyed truth courtesy Mister Hand

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