How many times do I have to tell you, language does what Conrad wants - stands up, lies down, rolls over to have it's belly tickled - and never ever gets misplaced, misused or malappropriated.
So yes, I did intend to write "Forbidden Thanet" and not "Forbidden Planet" - don't worry, I won't trot out my 5,000 word thesis about how this film's cultural influences still ring changes today, unless you want - no? definitely no? - okay on we go - because I spent at least half an hour last night on Twitter, creating puns.
"No, Dougal - that robot is very close up." |
The one title that I could have come up with - the title of today's BOOJUM! - is the one I didn't use; I think I've used it on a Twitter feed before.
Go on, you twisted my arm. Here's the list of what I came up with. Some might need a little explanation if you, dear reader, do not hail from the hallowed shores of the Pond.
The Punt for Red October
There's Something About Marylebone (a London train station)
Deadblackpool
Tea2: Judgement Chai (again with the tea-based puns!)
The Dining Room
The Newcastle Brown Bunny (Newky Brown is a beer)
World War Zed
Hove, Actually
The Magnificent Severn
John Hawick (a town in Yorkshire)
Cloud, Alas
Blaydon Runner (another Yorkie town)
Wonder Woman's Weekly
A Little Bit Eccentric Max
The Wilde Bunch (after Oscar Wilde - a most jarring juxtaposition!)
Mash
John Steed and Emma Peel Assemble
Twelve O'Clock High Tea
Spar Trek: Fish Counter (Spar are a convenience store chain)
"Hmmm. Something smells - off." |
At this point I tore myself away, because otherwise I'd still be there. Mucking about with language - it's what I do. Do well? Do badly? Only you can tell!
Well, with that Intro out of the way, let the motley commence.
"The War Of The Worlds" (1953)
This little gem has proven to be most fertile and fecund in terms of developing blog content; I shall almost feel sorry when I drop it's hollowed-out husk into the bin, having extracted every single iota of entertainment from it, like a horde of a hundred hagfish.
Let us look at another Goof. Ahem!
In the farmhouse breakfast scene, there is a plate with four slices of toast on the table as Sylvia is cooking the eggs. When they sit down, it has disappeared
The answer to this is obvious - Professor Clayton Forrester is a greedy gannet with a carbs problem and no manners; he ought to have left one slice for Sylvia.
The human titans fight back! |
See? You see the problem? Did they miss the bit where the Martians attack across the entire WORLD, never mind the USA?
Bah!
A globe artichoke. Because that makes as much sense. |
Game Of Thrones
I would just like to point out that, many months ago, your humble scribe warned any contenders for the Iron Throne that they were onto a loser if they stood up to The Dragon Lady. Having three airborne flamethrowers that never run out of fuel is a big ace to hold in your hand, all the more so if your opponents are swanning about in highly flammable wooden boats or wagons.
Here an aside. I have mentioned the utterly terrifying Churchill Crocodile flamethrowing tank on BOOJUM! a few times; a quintessential product of Perfidious Albion. It was bulletproof, blastproof, could cross any kind of terrain, had a whacking big gun and a flame-gun capable of shooting a jet of burning napalm up to 100 yards away. Now, imagine giving this thing wings - and you begin to get the idea.
Not a beast to get on the wrong side of |
Bronn admits Conrad has a point |
* Hardly ever.
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