M.O.G.H.A.D.I.S.H.U.

No, Not The Capital Of Somalia
Me!
     Well, me being clever.
     "Man Of Good Humour, Amiable Disposition, Inherent Silliness & Hairy Underside".
     You can attest to the truth of the first three qualities merely by reading the blog.
     The Hairy Underside is also true, but proving it would render BOOJUM! very, very NSFW.  So we'll not go there.


What's Different About Today?
Not merely that there will never be another 8th May 2015 again, but rather the eternal battle between Good and Evil between BOOJUM! and The Metro might have taken a new direction.  There was no promotion of their "Guilty Pleasures" on yesterday's cover, and - why what do we have here!  Nothing about "GP" on this edition either.

See!

     Of course - er - well - there is the General Election on the front cover, so that might be an issue as well, mightn't it?
     Nah! Can't possibly have had any influence.

"The Die-Hards"
Mention is made in this volume of "Albuhera Day", which couldn't take place thanks to the whole Being In The Front-Line Trenches thing.  Conrad, naturally, being the pedant he is, had to check up on this*.

British army musicians.  Striking fear into the heart of the enemy for 300 years

     It dates back to 16th May 1811, when the 57th Regiment (which was to become the Middlesex Regiment) fought in the Battle of Albuhera.  Their Colonel was injured and shot off his horse, egging his valiant soldiers on with the call "Die hard, 57th, die hard!"
     This is pretty rock of him, in Conrad's opinion.  Were I in his position I'd probably be wailing after falling on my Hairy Underside, or thinking "Why aren't there safety belts for horses?" or "If I get shot with a lead bullet and it doesn't kill me on the spot, am I going to have to worry about lead poisoning, lead being a heavy metal and all that?"

Proof Of Quiz
Well, I don't doubt that you're positively thirsting - thirsting!** - to know about the pub quiz now on offer at The Halfway House.

The evidence.  And not a bit of Googling involved

     Our stalwart opponents The Bar Stewards pipped us at the post and won; and I have to congratulate Ham And Brown on their sporting spirit - with every opportunity to cheat on mobile phones, they were scrupulously honest because they did really really badly.

"Please Sir, Is There Any More?"
NO! No, Edna, there is not.  This is my tea and I will fight you for it.

Edna trying it on

     She's hanging around whilst I eat a pie, in the solemn yet deluded hope that Conrad will share his scoff with her.
     Fat chance!

Miserablechester Part Two
I shouldn't have hailed the arrival of blue skies and sunshine yesterday, should I?  When I left the house this morning it was lovely and sunny.  Over the day the clouds gradually rolled in, until over across the Pennines one could see a dirty grey blanket covering the land and obscuring visibility, until vertical river marched into Manchester.

A world of wet
A woeful world of wet
A woebegone woeful world of wet
A wretched woebegone woeful world of wet^^

     This is my view from the bus ride home.
     Only a person as sunny and MOGHADISHU as me could remain cheery in a situation like this.
     'Think of all the trees!  How refreshed and hydrated they must be!' I thought.

Conrad.  Not dancing in the rain so much as laughing at it.

Aha!  Thank You Bus Poster
What's this?  A new bus poster advertising a new film, more grist for the mental mill that provides the ***
    Okay, it's "The Age Of Adaline".  Let the BOOJUM! review begin!
    Either this is the looooongest and most boring film in the history of this galaxy, if not the local cluster - probably not the entire universe, as it's a pretty big universe; or it's the shortest and least interesting film ever.

Long or short - NO! is my retort

     "Why is this, Conrad?" I hear you cry.  "Tell us oh sage!"^ 
     Okay, the loooooongest film first.  Do you know how an "Age" is?  As an example, look at "The Age of Reason" - this took up half of the Eighteenth Century.  How numb would your bum be sitting through a film that lasted fifty years?
     Then there is the short option.  "The Age of Adaline" - and a shot of Adaline comes up, with a caption beneath:

34

     Ha ha!  And you paid £10 to see it!

* You know me so well.
** Do you see what I - oh you do.
*** My metaphor-fu ran out at this point.  Sorry.
^ This had better mean "wise man" because if it's the herb you're in trouble.
^^ Okay, that's enough now.