Presenting A Positive Plethora Of Pictures

Enough "P"'s For You?
No off-colour jokes, please.
     As you surely know by now, Conrad is never, ever reticent in print.  Face-to-face he can be churlish and uncommunicative (a.k.a. "The Big Scarey Man"), yet is quite the opposite in print.  In fact, the problem at times can be stopping him - loquacious in the literary sense.

Conrad in one of his sunnier moments

     With this in mind, I shall try to be less verbose today.  We'll see if this is achieved with a word count in 60 minutes.
     For now, on with the motley!

Facebook I Kill You Deadly!*
Or at least give you a nasty bruise.  I refer to their "Suggested Posts" which normally concern subjects Conrad either has no interest in or else actively hates.  Take this as an example:

"How does he e-mail so fast?"

     Excuse me?  "How does he e-mail so fast?"  Do I look as if I give a stuff about this?  My interest in faster e-mails has all the depth of the sugar dusting on a jelly baby.
     Away with you!

Facebook I Still Kill You Deadly - Actually, No, I Take That Back
Have a qualified pat on the back.  Here's another screenshot of a "Suggested Post":

From some lawyers.  Making money out of misery!

     Let's look at these alleged injuries, from the top left:  1)  This persons bottom appears to have spontaneously exploded, not sure how you claim for that.
2)  You were running with scissors, weren't you?  This caused you to miss the step.  You don't have a leg to stand on**.
3)  This happens when you are drunk and careless on the ice-rink.  Good luck suing the council for your own stupidity.
4) Walking down the street blindfolded playing "Street Sign Bingo" does not qualify you for a reward when the inevitable happens.
5)  Eat less beans.  In this case only your dignity is injured.  But still, less beans.
6)  Your spectacle prescription needs changing.  Do that and you won't have to crouch like a packrat over it's hoard.
7)  Being hit by a thunderbolt is a sure sign of having annoyed either God, or Zeus, or (very unwisely) both.  You're going to have trouble suing either of them - just live a more blameless life.
8)  You are a numpty.  You deliberately stuck your hand in a MASSIVE PAIR OF GRINDING GEARS! for what reason?  To see if you have superpowers?  To see if it tickled?
Get out of here!

Hmmm.  Rather a lot of text there.  Quick!  Post some pictures!

Bowlee Car Boot Sale
Normally held on a Sunday, if the Monday is a Bank Holiday it gets held then.  Today's was immense, covering the usual car park and a lot of the adjacent grassland.

Interior View

     Edna doesn't enjoy being cooped up in the car for one second longer than necessary:

Attempting to escape

     So Conrad, having done his shopping and lumbering under the weight of a ton of tomes, took her walkies:

Edna being the world's least-dignified dog

Here's a picture that gives some idea how big this car boot sale is:

     Finally, here is the haul:

All for £7 - result!

     I have been doing this long enough to make snap judgements on the boxes of books that stallholders display: celebrity autobiographies, detective novels, cookbooks and gardening are the most common.  Also "Fifty Shades of Grey".

The Ice Cream Man Cometh
Yesterday I got a punnet of raspberries going cheap; there were leftover raspberries from my previous ice cream making, plus yoghurt and double cream that needed using up - so Hay Pesto!  I made Raspberry Yoghurt Ice Cream:

     This is the paddle of the Gelato coming loose when I lifted off the lid.  This is a good sign as it means the mix has thickened up a great deal, enough for the beating to stop and the freezing to begin.

Blimey.  Word count at nearly 700.  Apparently I have to try harder at being shorter***.





* This is a steal from "Tiger! Tiger!", Alfred Bester's sci-fi classic and should not be taken as a literal threat to Facebook.
** Do you see what I - o you do.
*** In terms of word count, not tallness. Remember the "Big" in "Big Scarey Man"