Currahee!

I Can Tell What You're Thinking -*
"Blimey!  Conrad's been at the baking brandy a bit early tonight!"  and "Look at the senile old duffer, making up words at random."
     But no.  "Currahee" is the title of the pilot episode of "Band of Brothers",  that seminal recreation of the Second Unpleasantness.
     Who uttered it yesterday but young Dan, as he walked past me, causing Conrad to look round in surprise.
     'Did you know Simon Pegg is in it, briefly?' I smarmed.
     'Yes indeed, and did you know that Tom Hardy is in it as well, and also Michael Fassbender?' riposted Dan, scoring trivia points left and right and thus bearding the dragon in it's lair, and challenging Conrad.
     So this morning I ambushed young Dan, asking if he knew anything about the I Zingari cricket team, him being sporty and all that.
     He drew a blank!  So, honour is satisfied.

Close enough

Mervyn Peake
You may only know Mervyn through the Beeb's adaptation of "Ghormenghast", which is fair enough.  He was an immensely talented chap, equally good as a writer, poet - and this is the kicker - an artist.  This combination of skill is rare indeed.  I don't have the time to really do justice to his legacy, so allow me to post the shortcut to all things Wikid:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mervyn_Peake
     Why do I make this post?  It occurred to me that with Peake's artwork you get exactly what he intended you to see, no question of an artistic interpretation filtered via someone else's imagination, viz:

The Ancient Mariner
(Functional immortality through bird-death)

     Which rather brought to mind Staney Kubrick.  With Stan, what you saw on screen was what he wanted you to see.  No bothersome suit-intrusion to "amend it for audience demographics" with Stan.  No.  In fact there are rumours that several motorway support pillars contain the remains of studio suits who tried to intervene in one of his films  ...

This is not an accident

The Gamma Ray Laser
Frankly, I have to say the GRL is a big, fat disappointment.  Conrad is used to mention of this hideously destructive device being used to blow up the sun or shooting a dirty great hole right through the Moon.  You know, terrifyingly destructive Things Exploding stuff.

The Moon takes a hit for the team

     Okay, that was all science fiction.  Now, apparently, we can possibly create a real life GRL by using "positronium", a compound composed of matter and anti-matter.
     It's not that simple, obviously - obviously! - because if it was Kim Jon Eel would have built one and destroyed the world.  And what do scientists speculate we will do with our big fat GRL when it arrives?
     Scientific research.  Worse than that, abstruse scientific research.
     COME ON HOM. SAP!  where is your Inner Mad Scientist?

Shakeshaft
Once more Conrad sets out to beard the Bard, to set the cat amongst the pigeons and variously shake the pillars of (literary) Heaven.  Conrad considers Shakespeare to be dreadfully hard going, pumped up by centuries of doting critics who would go into raptures over his laundry list, if it ever came up for publication.
     This, Bill, is revenge for having to study "King Lear".
     Hello Othello!  Get this revision:

"If you prick us, do we not bleed?

Certainly, yes, so - don't do the deed.

Bloodstained clothing I really don't need.

Change the metaphor of your analogical screed!"

     Oh, and what's this timely quote from "Henry IV"?

"We few, we happy few, we band of bothers."

heh.

Obviously the pigeons have little to fear from this particular cat

What On The Dog Bun** Earth?
As you know by now, BOOIUM! is entirely SFW, and that picture of ladies showing their behinds was classical statuary, you dirty-minded lot.
     Still, Conrad can be provoked, as with this image out of the Chip Shop Wrapper:

Dog.  Buns.

     Yes, when you want to promote your product, nothing is more positive than - a sloth.
     That's like using slugs to promote lettuce.
     Look, advertising agency, the day of the weasel will be here sooner than you know it!

Awwww, Isn't She Just So - NO!
Edna has been severely chastised for attempting to sneak food off a plate when our backs were turned.
     When our backs were no longer turned, she dropped the bun and fled.

     This is her patiently hanging-around whilst I eat my burger buns, trying to look winning.
     She was there for a good ten minutes, patiently waiting, waiting waiting.
     She didn't get any burger or bun from me, although I did let her lick the plate.  And the instant it was clean, out of the Upstairs Lair she went, Cupboard Love in it's truest form.

Hom Sap's Habitual Hatred Highlighted
Yesterday we had that age-old compare and contrast between Stick - which got points for convenience - and Rock - which got points for longevity.
     Today we advance the clock by 150,000 years and the modern day, comparing and contrasting those two wildly popular weapons that make the world such an interesting place.

BOMB                                                 MISSILE
Traditional!                                         So clever it can do the Times crossword for you
No moving parts                                  Outstanding exemplar of high-technology
Large surface area upon which              6,000 mile range. NIS - Nowhere Is Safe
to scrawl amusing cartoons                   Ploughshare-Potential = nil
Lots of bang for your buck***                Looks cool when launched

Oho.  What Is This?
The wraparound advert - which the Cat's Litter Tray Liner probably describes as "a sponsor" - is by - er - one of those soft drink companies - Conrad can't remember which - obviously no great success as either sponsor or advert - hang on I'll get a photo -

There you go: "Golq", that famous soft-drink company

     "Whatever makes you happy ..."
     Really?  Really?  Recall that Conrad is overwhelmingly fond of all Things Exploding.

Now, that would make me VERY happy!

Let me leave you with this thought.  If Ambrose Bierce had been President, would America have entered World War One?
     I'll get back to you on that.

* Only a metaphor.  Telepathy hasn't been invented.  Yet.  But, rest assured, DARPA are working on it as I type.
** Remember, this is the officially-sanctioned non-sweary ejaculation of choice for Conrad and BOOJUM!
** Rouble, yen, pound sterling, whatever floats your boat