Wee Willy Winkie Runs Through The Town -

It's A Scottish Nursery Rhyme
 - created in the more innocent times of 1841.  To continue the first verse:

"Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town

Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown

Shouting at the window, crying at the lock:

"Are all the children in their bed, it's past eight o'clock?"

     Nowadays he'd be wearing a Real Madrid football strip rather than a nightgown, and his parents would be prosecuted for i) Child neglect - allowing him to run around Aberdeen or Fife on his own, and ii) Exploitation - taking money from the local council to perform an overwatch operation as a private business.
     Nursery rhymes: a dirty business when you get down to it.

Sell By Date: A Challenge Not A Warning
Possibly more of a warning if you're not me.  Francine, ex-colleague at Connexions, thought that Conrad should gift his body to medical science after his death, to see how he coped with borderline-toxic food.
     Like this!

      Here we have meatballs five days past their SBD, and which had - possibly too much information? - bloated the plastic packaging they were in, although a quick poke with a bamboo skewer solved that problem.  Only five days past SBD is practically within the time limit, right?
     If there are stomach problems, I'll let you know.

I Scream -
 - well more like "Grumble", really.  As you surely know by now, Conrad does have a soft spot for ice cream, especially for breakfast.  Not last year but the year before he was making litres of ice cream on a weekly basis, only stopping because he's quite idle and making the home-made stuff is rather time consuming.  
     I can prove this!

Behold the prep.

     This is after the strawberries have been pureed, then mixed in with the icing sugar and lemon juice and vodka - you can see them in the big plastic bowl.
     "Why vodka!" I can hear you ask*.  Not because I like it especially, although it's part of the reason Russia is the way it is**, it's because the finished product sets like concrete unless you put a couple of tablespoons of spirit into it.  Vodka lacks any flavour so that makes it ideal (plus you can clean battery contacts with it).

Presto.  Also, Voila.

     Here is the custard mixture cooling in a bag, to avoid gaining a skin***, and the puree mix being blended with the double cream.  Once the custard cools you add the two together and then:

     Add to the ice cream maker for 20 - 30 minutes.  Of course this means the end result is too late for tonight's BOOJUM!

Stick Versus Rock
Last night I threw out some throwaway comment about Hom. Sap. and your violent tendencies, not to mention history and genetics.  I think this goes back about 500,000 years and your barely-above-monkey ancestors.  Why did they move out of their safe home environment of trees?
     Obviously because of the proto-hominid arms race!
     No.  No, not the arms that begin at your shoulders and continue down to your wrists.  "Arms" meaning weapons.  Thus:

The Stick.                                                          The Rock.
You know it's traditional, right?                             The very latest in modern weaponry!
Available free upon every tree                              Many and more on the forest floor
Can be used to poke or whack                               Whack coefficient increased by 100
End can be sharpened                                           Not worn out by repeated whacking
Green Party approved                                           Effective when thrown
En masse, can be camouflage                                 Does not dry out or rot
The forest floor is dangerous!                                 Makes a good paperweight

"Yes?"

The Ultimate Des. Res.
For the terminally-paranoid, at least.
     You have, I hope, been keeping track of my series of posts about Nuclear War, Nuclear Weapons and Nuclear Power.
     What happens when the Cold War suddenly ends and you end up with a multiplicity of missile silos that are Surplus To Requirement?
     You could simply leave them to rot and rust, but remember that they had a significant dollar/rouble cost inherent in their construction.
     If you felt malignant, you might care to blow them up.  However, these things were designed to withstand a near-miss from a multi-megatonne warhead - your work will be cut out, to say the least.
     Or - you could sell them.
     Strange as it may seem, there are people willing to purchase obsolete nuclear missile silos.

Sleepy neighbourhood house with SECRET MISSILE BASEMENT!

     Here you see the cunningly-innocent wooden house that is merely a cover for the patented Doctor Evil Bachelor Funpad; empty missile silo an opportunity to create mushroom gardens or excess beer bottle storage.
     Here's a shot of it in real-life:

Hmmmmmmmmm.  Not sure about that colour scheme.

* Or it might be my imagination. I'm funny that way.
** Good, bad or in between - only you can decide!
*** If Conrad had his way, the ICC would declare custard skin a war crime.