When I admit that I'm lying, but you ought to know me by now.
Oh very well -
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| Penn Jilette |
Why I thought I'd never get to answer that?
You are familiar with the concept of the dungeon? A human-storage facility for those you've crossed off your Christmas card list. An oubliette is a species of dungeon, one similar in design to a bottle, where access is possible only from a hole in the ceiling.
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| An oubliette. And that could be Penn. |
The Smoothie
I drank half of it last night and took the rest to work to impress the troops and enjoy, and indeed did get a few questions about what it was:
There remain enough ingredients to make another but time is tight tonight and I may not get the chance - Pub Quiz in less than an hour. Not only that but Rosie is absent, down in London - we are doomed if any questions about the Royal Family are asked ...
BOOJUM! And Traffic Stats
Don't worry, I'm not going to introduce Excel spreadsheets and carry out Boolean analysis or audience demographic analysis, just show you a couple of illustrative screenshots:
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| 42 hits today |
This may not mean anything to you, so let me point out that normally a good hit count is 25, after I've posted the blog for that day. This is at 42 before the blog gets posted, so - did I do something spectacularly right last night?
Here's another screenshot:
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| The darker the green, the more hits in that country |
I hope that the blog's policy of avoiding* politics or current affairs or religion or Strictly Come Dancing has rendered it beloved to these citizens across the world.
It wouldn't kill some of you to add a Comment, though, would it?
Shakeshaft
Tee hee! Actually this might backfire and render all those literature-loving Shakespeare fans out there immoderately angry with Conrad.
Well, so be it. Bring the thunder!
"Friends, Romans, countrymen!
It's that time of year again.
Normally, you're scum beneath my feet
Today, however,I'm talking sweet.
Because I want to be elected Boss
So vote for me you septic dross."
Not enough! More ridicule!
"Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well.
A fellow of infinite jest.
His jesting paled quickly, sad to tell.
In fact Yorick was a bit of a pest"
Take that, Bill, you balding bard.
Ah, My Old MI5 Journal
It was amusing to read about my times at the Sneakret Service yesterday. What a cynical, contemptuous, sneering chap I was**back then. Here's another journal entry (I know keeping a journal was strictly forbidden, which is why I did it. Rock 'n' roll writing rebel me):
"Jan 21. Latest inane management initiative is "Document Control", which means that we have to key in yet another password to use the MFD's, I now have to remember seventeen different passwords that we aren't allowed to write down anywhere, and mis-keying at least three of those will bring the whole floor to a screeching halt and bring Security in with tazers and truncheons.
Oh, and guess who came swaggering across this afternoon, pretending he needed to speak to one of the Project Leads? MacPherson, "accidentally" flashing his gun holster. Arrogant flashy MI6 twod. If an intellectual ant like him can get promotion there is no justice in the world.
And Case IP119/HC221? I always maintained that it wasn't a terrorist recruiting screed. Last week, at my recommendation, the download got sent over to one of the Hindi-speaking desks. They confirmed it was a translation of the "Kama Sutra". Department head now on gardening leave; fifth time in a year."
Ah, the raw truth about working within the Secret Service!
| One of our state-of-the-art covert eavesdropping vans |
Pip Pip!
* Usually
** All my best qualities, really
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