It's That Charmer, Philp Jose Farmer

Fooled You Again!
Well, perhaps, perhaps not.  I will assume that I have, snigger and move on.
     Who was PJF?  Why, an American science fiction author, of course, one who instantly arrived on the map because his science fiction included sex.
     Today you can hardly avoid sex in your science fiction, but Phil was writing back in early Fifties, when this sort of thing simply Was Not Done.  Except he did.  
     He was fond of writing under pseudonyms, including that of "Kilgore Trout", which created a bit of friction with Kurt Vonnegut, whose works included the character Kilgore Trout.  Confused?  So were the fans.

Killed Gored Trout.  Close enough.

     PJF's best known works were those of the "World of Tiers" series, set on - you're ahead of me here aren't you? - a world made up of tiers; and also the "Riverworld" series, where human beings are reborn on the banks of an endless river on an alien world.  There were two abortive attempts to start a television series of "Riverworld" but nobody appears eager to try the earlier ground-breaking sex fiction; where is David Cronenberg when you need him?

Breakfast!
If you follow Conrad's deluded ramblings for any length of time, then you know he has a weakness for ice cream at breakfast, so Hay Pesto!

Out of shot: crumpets in toaster

     This stuff is my home-made Raspberry Yoghurt, and it must be nice because as soon as I turned my back, Jenny* was over trying to lick it.  A bellow of "JENNY!" caused her to completely ignore me and I had to swat her off the worktop.
     Raspberry Yoghurt ice cream - like catnip, apparently.

Bowlee Car Boot And Books
Given that it's a Bank Holiday, the weather ought to be disgusting, yet it's been pretty wonderful.  Thus the Mansion household betook themselves to Bowlee in Bury.  Art?

Beautiful blue skies at Bowlee

     This is the car park, not the car boot sale itself.
     Conrad's normal style at a car boot is to ignore any stall that doesn't have books, and to judge stalls with books on display in a matter of seconds.  Most of them are paperback potboilers probably bought at the airport, usually detective fiction.  Then there are the biographies of people I don't know and don't want to know, usually hardback.  Throw in books on gardening and cooking and that's the majority of books.
     However, there are exceptions:

The overall haul.  Weighty tomes indeed

     Now please pay attention to the volume lower left:

"Up To Date Confectionery"

     The title is completely inaccurate as this is most definitely not up to date, although the date of publication is entirely missing from the inside.  Conrad, being a nosey kind of character**, checked the book out on Abebook, the ultimate repository of second hand books -

It's a bit hard to make out, but that's £50 to buy and £4.50 to post

     The volume I have is an undated First Edition; the second edition came out in 1947.
     And - this is the good part - I paid 25p for it.

The Index To The History Of The 51st Highland Division
How am I doing with this?  Why I thought you'd never ask!  I'm up to page 301 out of 400, which has run to 6 pages of A4 -

Conrad's patent spiderscrawl

     This is just the units involved, I shall have to go back and list the officers, and then the battles, and at least the VC winners.  I could be quite a while with this.
     However, I have caught the author out on two occasions, when he mentioned the "8th Gordon Highlanders".  Having been reading about every battalion that ever served in the 51st I was pretty sure this was incorrect - the 8th Gordons weren't part of the 51st.  A reference to the "Order of Battle of British Divisions 1914 - 1918" was needed:

I won't enlarge it, not exactly riveting material

     The 51st OB doesn't list the 8th Gordons.  A check in the Listings book, however, pointed to another unit:

There you go!

     The relevant entry is left of centre - "8/Gord.H."
     So they served with the 9th Division.  Their inclusion in the 51st must be a misreading, possibly of the "6th Gordon Highlanders".
     A nice little bit of detective work there by Conrad.

What's In A Name?
Readers in the UK have probably heard of "Wellyphant", who is a mascot for something.  Waterproof clothing?  Chester Zoo?  Frangible biscuit baking?  I can't be bothered to look it up.
     Well, Conrad has an idea - behold the awesome marketing tool that is

FROCKODILE!

Yeah, baby, yeah!

     A killer concept, eh?  Just think, this little chap can do for the textile, fashion and clothing industry what Wellyphant did for Adjustable Wrench Brokers.
     Now, you may be wondering why we have a baby crocodile in a skirt, rather than the adult version, and there are seventy-two very good reasons for this:

You can stay and count: I'm getting out of here -

* A cat.  Not a person.  Just so we're clear.
** But we knew that already.