It's Bill Bailey - On A Cappercaillie!

Actually It's Not.
You know what a terrible fibber I am when it comes to creating blog titles, and this is one of those times.
     You should have been aware the instant you read it, as this is Bill Bailey -

Quite a hefty chap

     - and this is a cappercaillie -

With a human, for scale

     As you can see there is an obvious size mismatch.  Bill sitting on that bird would turn it into a scrappercaillie.

A Glimpse Behind The Scenes
Conrad likes to delude himself with the thought that some people out there read his blog and wonder how it gets put together*.
     On a day like today, when I arrive home late and then bake a cake, I don't get to post until late on, so I arrive at work early and bash out a lot of notes, more than the usual framework, thus:

There is a bit of left-over from yesterday top left, and a book list top right

     I doubt you could read Conrad's miniature scrawl even if it were twice life-size, but don't worry, the people who matter** can.

Eurovision
It happened.  Not a fan.  In the notes from last night I had "Any non-Euros in it again, recall Israel being in there once".
     O Conrad you had to ask!
     Israel is in there again.  And Russia, and every nation in the Trans-Caucasus, and - wait for it, wait for it! - Australia.
     Since I don't watch the horrid event I've probably got no say in criticising it, but which part of "Euro-" do these people not understand?  And why do nations have to put together bespoke acts for it?  We here in the UK are not notably deficient in musical talent, are we?***

The Metro
None on the bus!
     I feel disorientated and hollow.
     Remember Des O'Connor?  He could count on being insulted on a regular basis, especially by Morecambe and Wise, which was all priceless publicity and promotion.
     Thus The Metro - i have no Holmes to my Moriarty.
     Well, I'll just have to go with a note from Tuesday's edition, which I cannily made yesterday and can now put to use.
     This title is taken from "Guilty Pleasures", which continues to lie about being four pages long:

"It's claws for concern, as Brand snubs Katy and cat."

     Who?  Who?  Who the Dog Buns are these people?  In a spat about a cat?
     Is this news?  No it is not!  It does fill column inches, however.

The Weather
What can I say?  Here we are, near June and the start of summer, yet waterproof and warm clothing is still the order of the day. Young Dan ("the chatty young man") got caught out by not wearing a coat or bringing an umbrella, and Conrad fears he only got home in a state of sodden.
     Britain - where's that global warming we've been hearing about?

Still Out!

We've had Telekinesis, Teleportation, Transmutation to explain why changing that light bulb in the Electric Goldfish Bowl is taking so long, and I was going to add "Transubstantiation", except this turns out to be religious and - you know.  Blog rules.
     So instead we have Transmaniacon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lNi97_SppE

     Which sounds like it might be right ...

"Condominium"
Usually abbreviated in South Canada to "condo".  Again, I apologise for having a word pop into my head without any particular reason.
     "Well," reasoned Conrad, aware that a condo is a block of flats^.  "Con" means "Together" in Latin.  "Dominium" - could that be "House" or "Dwelling place"?
     Close - Dominium means "Right of ownership".
    Well, get me - approaching fluency in the King of Zombie Languages!

A condor.  Close enough.

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
Not literally!  BOOJUM! is, as ever, SFW^^.Whilst Conrad retains his child-like fascination with the superhero, he and his sense of mischief do have scope to wonder.
     Superman sneezing has been briefly touched upon.  Excuse me for lowering the tone but what if Supes broke wind?  Sonic boom at the least, one feels, rather similar in outcome to the sneeze - a lot of burst eardrums and broken windows, with what would probably constitute poison gas floating around.
     So.  No beans for Clark Kent.

- or this

     Then there's alcohol.  Bear in mind that this is Supes we're talking about here, so 4 pints of bitter won't cut it, nor spirits neither.  You're probably talking about him needing to drink hypergolic missile fuel run over a bath of liquid nitrogen to feel any effects.  That, or lava.  And the effects would be disastrous!  Imagine Supes trying to fly whilst canned - how many skyscrapers would he take out?  Plus it's not like anyone could stop him, much less arrest him.  Handcuffs? Pah!  Drunk Tank?  Getouttahere!
     Then there's Batman and his alter-ego Bruce Wayne, billionaire owner of Wayne Industries.  Bruce attends a lot of parties where he goes swigging cocktails by the bucket.
     Whoah there, Bruce!  What happens when the concierge calls a taxi for you as you can't focus to find your keys - and then the Batsignal appears ...

Bruce, you're meant to drink a Wallbanger, not actually -

* No, magic is not involved.
** Me.
*** Although you have to exclude those musical undead, The Rolling Stones.
^ O very well.  "Apartments".
^^ "Safe For Work", Dave, not "She Ffield Wednesday"