No Comparison - Here's Harry Harrison

I Know What You're Thinking -
 - Who's he?
     Well, if you know anything about science-fiction then you'll know he invented The Stainless Steel Rat.  The Rat is a criminal in the far future, a rebel who has made a conscious decision to challenge authority, and in a concrete-and-metal world, that kind of challenge requires a rat made of steel in order to steal*.  They're very amusing novels, go check 'em out.
     Harry had been a comic-strip artist, a short-story author, then a novelist, an editor but you'll only know him from a film kinda-version of "Make Room! Make Room!" known as "Soylent Green".
     "Soylent Green is people!" shouts Charlton Heston at the end.  Well, no, Chas, it's actually Soya and Lentils.

Or, people squeezed really, really flat. Then coloured green

The Chip Shop Wrapper And Sounds From The Other City
As you hopefully know by now, Conrad has an ongoing spat with The Metro.  Nothing personal, it's just a rubbish paper that richly deserves being used to line your cat's litter tray.
     So - we have the equivalent of a page of "Guilty Pleasures", and a lot of chatter, plenty of adverts, a skateboarding duck and -
    - nothing about SFTOC?  A major event taking place in Salford with art and music over Sunday?  
     Colour me unsurprised.

Ex-Easter Island Head - they play guitars!  With drumsticks!

Breakfast
Well, let me apprise you of Conrad's breakfast routine at the Mansion.  First I go around the social media and post a recap of last night's pearls of poison wit**, then it's down to the kitchen:

Ice cream - check; EBT - check; fiction book - check; factual book - check.  Book of notes - never move without it

     Out of shot - toast with Marshmallow Fluff.  Delicious yet sooooo bad for you.

Danger - Socks!
I'm sure you are all well aware of the danger that wild socks pose.  You must be, or you'd not have survived to read this blog.  Periodically Conrad trawls the Mansion to hunt down any strays lurking within; the cat refuses to help and the dog can't use scent or hearing to help, so it's down to the human alien in human camouflage to do the job***.

Saturday's haul

     Once they mate, they are much more docile and easy to handle, viz:

Rendered safe in a Sock Detention Facility

     Yes, it looks like a laundry basket, but I assure you it's a Sock Detention Facility

Meanwhile -
Where was the cat whilst all this was going on?  Chilling out in her swanky new domicile:

To you, a box -

 - to her, a Dog-Proof Environmental Unit.

Meanwhile -
Where was the dog whilst all this was going on?

     Obviously, learning to read.
     Good job she doesn't have mutually opposable digits or she'd have taken over the city by now.

You What?
I am currently watching Series One of "Agents Of SHIELD", and have noticed that whenever the voiceover repeats the series title, they always preface it by saying "Marvel's".

"MARVEL'S AGENTS OF SHIELD"

This is rather like my questions about "Leyton Orient" and "Preston North End" - a bit redundant.  How many Agents of SHIELD are there around?  Only the one.  If it were "CSI" then there would be sound reason for defining which it was as they seem to be down to "CSI: Janitorwatch" by now.

Close enough

Logs!  And Log-Counting Software
Apologies for resurrecting one of the bizarre Suggested Posts that Facebook came up with last year.  After all, who would need log-counting software?  A lumber business, perhaps, or a timber-haulage company.  Not someone who works in HR, at a desk, in an office.
     And yet -

"How many trees would it take to print the internet?"

     The answer is 8,000,000.  I don't know how this was worked out but, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if Log-Counting Software wasn't bundled in there.

Back To The Kitchen
Wonder Wifey, in her quest to buy one of everything ever made, returned from Royton with this:

Voila.  An expensive French make

     Why did we need a new kettle when we have a perfectly serviceable electric one?
     "Because it whistles."
     Can't argue with that.



* See what I did there?
** The blog.  Obviously.
*** Apologies if I sound a little bitter here.  There I am, risking life and limb.