The Barky Browning Of Buffalo Burt

I Promise It Will All Make Sense
Conrad is going to pick up again where he left off yesterday, going on about the 1969 film "Castle Keep", which is based on the really rather good novel by William Eastlake, and I can sit in judgement on it because I have read it.
     As I mentioned yesterday, the Internet Movie Firearms Database - which really should be on your web browser's "Favourite" list - doesn't mention the film at all, which is a bit odd.  For one, it stars Burt Lancaster, hence the Burt" of our title; and also Peter Falk and Bruce Dern.  It was filmed on location in Yugoslavia, which is relevant, and at a cost of $8 million, which was a big budget back in those days.  In the novel, moreso than the film, Burt's character is compared to a buffalo, where that bit of the title comes from.
     So!  About those guns ...
     Browning M2 Machine Gun:  this is an anti-aircraft variant of the gun, tuned up to fire at a phenomenal rate.  Normally a Browning fires in a chug-chug-chug sound pattern at about 450 round per minute (r.p.m.), but this one sounds more like 900 r.p.m.  Art?

Note all the expended brass

     "So what?  Conrad, you number-crunching bean-counting obsessive," I hear you quote.  Well, this M2 is air-cooled, without a water-jacket round the barrel, and it gets fired NON STOP.  So it would overload and jam.  Eventually. The M2 is a frightening thing to face normally, unless you are wearing a tank, and having one spit a death-ray of lead at you would give the sternest soldier pause for thought.
     There you have one of the Barky Brownings of the title.
     Browning Automatic Rifle: Another rate of fire issue.  The BAR has a relatively low r.p.m., again at about 450, but the ones used by the GI's here sound like they're cranking it out at 800 r.p.m. plus.

BARky

     "Er - what of it, Conrad, since you had a point to make above?" I hear you cautiously question.
     The magazine on the BAR only held 20 rounds, is what.  At that rate of fire you would empty it in 1.5 seconds and every round after the first would probably miss, too, given that the muzzle would climb like Sherpa Tensing on steroids.

"Really?"

     Conrad suspects it's actually a locally-made version supplied by Yugoslavian gunsmiths.
     Bazooka:  This is the Korean-War era version, which was much bigger and deadlier than it's Second Unpleasantness cousin.  Art?

Trust me on this one

     And the irony is that it would have been effective against the -
    Panzers: There weren't any left by 1969, so the producers made do with Russian T34/85 tanks from the Yugoslav army.  They put on a muzzle brake and painted them grey to make them more Teutonic, because what is more terrifying than - er - grey.

Snow camouflage unknown in Germany

     Well, that will do to be going on with, as I can see your brains beginning to glaze over.
     Tomorrow: artillery explosions and the flamepot.

Solidarity
Something unbelievable happened this week 36 years ago, underlining a staple truth that goes alongside Invading-Russia-Is-A-Very-Bad-Idea:  you can occupy Poland, but you're not ever going to conquer it. I mean, ever.
     Here a little history.  One historian amusingly put it that the Poles had the unfortunate tendency to annoy both their powerful neighbours at the same time.  This has led to it being partitioned, divided, occupied and otherwise wiped off the map.  Surprise!  Poland is still there, permanently this time one hopes, and not simply in a pause between Unpleasantnesses.
     The event I refer to was the founding of the independent trade union "Solidarity".  Art?

Lech Walensa holding forth

     Since Eastern Europe festered under - and here I nick the line from PK Dick - a skullcrushing totalitarian dictatorship (the Sinisters, for those with poor historical knowledge), this was an absolutely gobsmacking event.  Solidarity mushroomed until it had 10 million members and was a serious threat to the Communist dictatorship government.  They panicked and declared martial law, which rather went against the grain in a "worker's paradise".  And it didn't work, either.  That chap with the microphone went on to become President of Poland.

Polish for "Solidarity"

     Conrad, as a beer-swilling student journalist, happened to be at a NUS rally in Blackpool in 1981, where a Polish representative from Solidarity brought the house down as his translator put his speech into English.  Stirring stuff indeed!
     I met him afterwards and he spoke perfect English, the dramatic rascal ...

Today's Coincidence
Tom, the quiet-yet-amusing version, and Russell, the - the - well, the Russell version for want of a better description - shared Conrad's lunchtime, which is always enjoyable for there is no telling where the conversation will go.  Tom provoked a hurricane of laughter from your humble scribe when revealing the world's cheapest shoe-repair: a two-pence piece lodged in a hole in the sole of his shoe.
     He then proceeded to make the hairs on the back of your modest artisan's neck rise - horripilation is the formal word if you care to know - for as he ate his <ahem> "Cheese Toastie and Worcester Sauce Flavour Crisps" Conrad's eye fell upon the note "Archer: Double Deuce", where the character Archer has trouble pronouncing "Gloucestershire"*.  Tom, at that very moment, hilariously declared that American's cannot pronounce "Worcester".
     I ask you, what are -DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!

Crisps?
OR THE DEVIL'S BUNION SCRAPINGS?!

Sorry, couldn't resist ...

*  Mind you, so do the Ruffians in "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming!"  It's pronounced "Glosstershire".  Also, "Wooster".