Although being able to do so would be pretty cool. Did the Romans use an equivalent to the number zero? I think we should be told.
No, I happened to see the above on a roadsign in Chadderton, concerning the towns it's twinned with. So, Lviv is a town. At least it is now, as it's been known by other names in the past. Originally it was called "Leopolis", meaning "City of Leo" after a local king. Fair enough. You wouldn't want to go naming it after a species of herring, would you?
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| Not unless it was Richard Herring - |
Fast forward to the inter-Unpleasantness years when it turned into a Polish piece of property, called "Lwow". Of course boundaries and names being liable to change as the Ruffians marched forth from their hinterland, it then became " Львов" until Ukrainian independence, when it finally became Lviv.
Although if it was Roman numerals it would be 5065, which is about the number of different names it's had.
Now the Intro is over, the hamsters have warmed up and the phaeton of phantasy can trot forward at a gentle pace!
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| - or Herringbone |
Last Night's Storm
A persistent and hilarious in-joke at BOOJUM! is the sheer wetness of the UK, that earns this pearl amongst nations the epithet "Pond of Eden". Since I am fond of this phrase it isn't going to go away any time soon, so get used to it.
You may or may not be aware of the storm that unloaded on Manchester last night. Was it wet? Your humble scribe was literally paddling across roads inches deep in water and <insert wet war story here>. Nor have I ever seen as much lightning at one time.
Normally, Conrad enjoys a refreshing shower before heading to work, not on the way home. When I got in I had to empty several ounces of water out of my Co-Op bag.
It's a pretty poor show when you need to remember to poke drainage holes in your carrier bag ...
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| Wet the theme |
O Were It So
As you may have noticed by now, your modest artisan is not at all interested in sport. For one thing, to partake requires physical effort, which is always something of a Conrad-repellent. Secondly, I have extremely poor hand-eye co-ordination. All us aliens do*, it's one reason we depend on our hideously destructive advanced technology to overcome lesser species.
However. If eating Jaffa cakes were an Olympic sport -
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| Conrad takes the gold! and silver! and bronze! |
A Little Musical Critique
Forsooth, has not "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" not been fertile ground for BOOJUM! and then some? We are only one verse into "The Carpet Crawlers", too, and there's lots of verses left. Let us crack on, for "Bake Off" is on soon. Take it away Peter**.
"The fleas cling to the Golden Fleece, hoping they'll find peace"
Do they now, the disgusting little parasites! WELL THEY ARE GOING TO BE FATALLY DISAPPOINTED!! Conrad detests fleas full stop and would be quite happy to bathe the Golden Fleece in mustard gas if it killed off the horrid little hoppers, although I understand this might depreciate it's monetary value.
"Each thought and gesture is caught on celluloid"
Eh what say what? Peter, they are fleas, their "thoughts" consist of exactly two things - "Jump" and "Bite". As for gestures, again, they aren't renowned for subtly nuanced non-verbal communication. Jump. Bite. That's it.
"There's no hiding memory, there's no room to avoid"
What are we trying to avoid here, the fleas? According to you they're infesting a gaudy sheepskin, which should allow plenty of room to avoid them. Unless you refer to your pyromaniac graffiti artists Rael, a man off his gourd thanks to paint fumes. Him you would be well advised to avoid.
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| A Crawling Carpet. Close enough |
I Say, Chaps -
Don't look now, but TWO lights have blown in the atrium of The Electric Goldfish Bowl.
It has been scientifically proven that replacing these two will take longer than the lifetime of this universe***.
Finally -
I have to put this in because I've got a rhyme worked out.
| A killer phone |
** Peter Gabriel, lead singer in Genesis. Not some random chap off the street.
*** Unless it doesn't.
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