"French non-runner" (7,4)

A Diabolical Crossword Clue!
I've highlighted that major-league as - well, you'll see.
     Today is, apparently, officially the first day of autumn.  Google have a doodle about it.  Fortunately for your humble scribe and all his colleagues at work, autumn has begun in a balmy and sunny state, or at least by this afternoon it had.
     Contrarily, the day did not begin well.  It is now noticeably dark of a morning, which always casts a pall o'er your humble scribe's spirits.  There was a haze in the air thanks to the aftermath of overnight rain, and the 24 was not merely late, it simply failed to put in an appearance at all.  I ask you.  Down to 9 per day and they can't even keep that service up.  Remember that bit in "Jurassic Park" when the dinosaurs don't turn up?  I felt as crushed as that.

Sorry, no velociraptors

     So, to continue with the tale of woe - if you dislike the image of a middle-aged man contorting his face into a rictus of hatred you may skip ahead to the next post - I got the 409 into Royton and caught the 182 into Manchester from there.  This service traverses most of the 24's route so we were picking up passengers who would normally have caught that bus, so in consequence we were:  Late and Slow.
     They did have The Metro but it will all end in tears.
     Mine.  TEARS OF RAGE!  Or, if you prefer, you can watch me shred First Bus timetables into monochrome confetti, because that tears, too.

Conrad tears a wrapper.  Close enough

     If I can then skip ahead to mid-afternoon, when the sun had chased the rainclouds away, we had a fire alarm and The Electric Goldfish Bowl emptied.  Tom, Liam, Pete and myself had a good chinwag outside, which is where the crossword comes in.  Since it was dry, I took The Metro with me - hey, I have a low boredom threshold - and began scribbling in the answers to the Quick Crossword.  Pete looked at the Cryptic, where I'd failed to get that Diabolical clue, and he chewed it over thoroughly, before getting the solution.
     Here I made Tom laugh.  I had, earlier, confessed about using him as a comic foil in yesterday's post, which he took in good humour.  Or perhaps he's just a jolly good actor; make sure they carry out a really strict autopsy if I suddenly expire.  There was a man on a motorbike behind us, waiting at the lights and violently revving his engine - as I believe the phrase goes because I am so down wiv da kidz - and I retorted as he sped off with "You have a very small pen1s!"   
     Okay, the Intro is out, the hamsters have warmed-up and Wonder Wifey is making tea.

"The Punic Wars" By Brian Caven
I've had this work for years and never read it, partly because it was sitting in a pile of books that I'd already read.  Having dusted it off and removed some revolting glop from the dustjacket, it is now my Bus Book:  that is, if I read anything on the bus, it's going to be this one.  Kind of like making oneself a captive audience.
     Whilst reading it at lunchtime yesterday, sitting opposite Javed, he asked "Did that war really happen?"

Carthaginian soldiers, wearing <ahem> their Punic tunic

     It certainly did, J-Dog*!  It was a conflict fought between Rome and Carthage - though how you get from "Carthage" to "Punic" beats me - in the 3rd Century BC.  You had Rome, a pretty tough gig when it came to land warfare, and Carthage, mighty at sea but mostly more interested in making a profit than conquering the world.
     The Second Punic War has just begun, and Hannibal - yes the one who crossed the Alps on an elephant - has just given one Roman army a proper shoeing.  Conrad confidently predicts it'll all end in tears -

Lithuania: Famous For Fish
Well, perhaps I exaggerate a little.  Art?

     Actually this includes the first thing that caught my eye - it's from Lithuania!  Come on, how many things do you know that come from Lithuania**?  With fish from Alaska and the Pacific and Argentina, via the Baltic, thence to Lidl in Royton, that's some well-travelled food.

Oh beggar!  Sorry, nearly forgot about the crossword answer - "Haricot Bean".  Get it?  I sighed and cursed simultaneously when Pete got it.



*  This is amusing because it is so utterly inappropriate. Don't tell him, though.  Still waters and all that.
** Not counting Lithuanians.