- can wring from the driest of materials. If you're not remotely interested in the Napoleonic Wars, the land of the Ruffians, Conrad being hostile in print or broccoli, then you may skip ahead.
"Broccoli?" I hear you query. "Green cauliflower as is?"
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| Albino broccoli |
None of that has anything to do with what I plan to do in the Intro: talk about Flophouse, that hilarious podcast where the hosts enjoy themselves so much that you will, too. Herein the link:
http://www.flophousepodcast.com/
This afternoon we heard their riffing on the 2014 remake of "Robocop", which Conrad has not seen - not enough time rather than too much good taste, I'm afraid - which typically took an age to actually get to the film as they shoot off on conversational tangents. One of these was actually pertinent to the podcast: Dan McCoy was suffering from a bad cold and fell asleep 30 minutes into the film. Clearly it's not that stimulating a cinematic experience. Elliott nearly giggled himself into a stupor at Dan's snoring, which is kind of mocking the afflicted* since Dan has a deviated septum.
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| Conrad: deviant in Septem. Close enough |
Right! Let us proceed with a tale of terror practically unsurpassed in the annals of human history -
Today's Travel On The 24 -
No! Dammit, get it right -
"Napoleon's Invasion Of Russia" By Paul A. Britten
Your humble scribe has pointed out at length many of the horrible consequences of invading Russia, and he cannot say that Nappy is, by November 1812, showing any signs of that military genius he is supposedly brimful of.
"But Conrad!" I hear you quibble. "How - how - how can you be so harsh?"
Quite easily. At the battle of Krasnoie Nappy appears to be working for the Ruffians. His idea of tactics is to line men up in front of the Russian guns (of which there are an enormous amount) and allow great gaps to be blasted in the ranks by roundshot, grapeshot*** and exploding shells. Any idiot can do that.
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| Even this Napoleon |
Okay, now the 24 -
Today's Travel Trauma On The 24
After 2 days of ticking all 3 boxes, First Bus revert to type - on time, a double-decker but NO METRO. I shouldn't complain too much as this means more time to scribble more blogorrhea en route.
What a journey, too. The noise, good Lord, the noise! Both suspension and fitments squeaked incessantly, so much so that it was like sitting in a cage full of chaffinches. Who had been at the rum. Perhaps the broccoli, too. The door hydraulics made a whine like a sulking dog every 30 seconds and the brakes squealed like a strangled sow.
Conrad: My Music-less Menagerie of Misery.
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| Your humble scribe, looking miserable^. |
Conrad, whose mind is normally composed of moonbeams and main battle tanks, and having a rather tenuous connection with reality, occasionally forgets that his audience are real, too. This being so, Tom has reacted rather snappily to a Facebook post about the Pub Quiz - which we SMASHED by the way in case you missed it last night - and your humble scribe is having to do a little creative thinking to get out of a fix. Don't worry, gentle reader, for Conrad is the
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| The proof |
* I'm sure he doesn't mind, they do it to films all the time.
** The cartilage that divides your nose into two
*** Hard, metallic and unyielding; the only comparison to a grape is the size.
^ I know, I know - how do you tell the difference?
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