For your humble scribe has not suffered any hideous injury that requires an adjustment to his mobility. Anyway, on with the alliteration.
Conrad's Crutch: The Caffeine Crank that Kick-starts his Cranium. Art?
For, if there is time, it is Conrad's practice to imbibe a double espresso with three sugars before starting work, as I find being wound up like a watchspring helps the day pass quicker. And a sugar buzz never hurt anyone.
Right. That has to be the shortest Intro for a very long time. I'm also posting late as I was on a late shift, and the PC decided to die on me, so I've had to poke the hamster with a bit of live wiring to get it up to speed.
Today's Travel Joys
Ha! Fooled you, I just put "joys" to see if you were paying attention. Again, only two tick boxes for First - on time and a double decker. No Metro. Not only that, this is the squealing, whining, squeaking, clanking chariot that can surely only be channeling the spirit of Jacob Marley. i-pod front and centre!
Which reminds me. There's a guitar effect towards the end of "Looking Inwardly" by The Chameleons, a kind of mournful descending minor chord, and THAT'S what this mobile sonic-assault-on-the-ears reminds me of.
Herein a link to the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQpXcdWZyL4
It was the same vehicle on the way home, too.
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| It sounded much like this when braking |
If Only The Gig Were Made Of Fig
I hope you've been paying attention - there will be a test later and the winners get to live - and remember that Conrad will be your man on the podium when Jaffa Cake Eating becomes an Olympic sport*. Then, too, when Fig Roll Eating is recognised as a slightly more challenging sport, I shall be your champion also.
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| Evidence! |
Admit it, they aren't so easy to scoff as the spongy Jaffa cake, are they?
A Little Musical Critique
Bruce, The Gaslight Anthem and Paul and Art can all breathe easily tonight, for we continue to point BOOJUM!'s actinic eyesight at Genesis and "The Carpet Crawlers" because it's such an easy target. Take it away Peter!
"The crawlers cover the floor of the red ochre corridor"
This image is not one I particularly want to see in my mind's eye, Peter, ta very much, as you were previously going on about the fleas, and possibly the only creepy insect Conrad dislikes more than the flea is the spider. The entire floor is covered with them? Hello, Rentokil -
Oh, and thank you for the minor detail about this structure's paint scheme, it's just that I can't stop itching whilst thinking about crawlers ...
"Form a second side of people, they've more lifeblood than before."
What? Okay we know that your protagonist Rael is reeling from breathing in paint fumes all night long. What, Peter, is your excuse? This "lifeblood" worries me, frankly. Where did they acquire that extra blood? It's not as if many shops stock blood in handy 500 ml cartons. Blood, in fact, is very hard stuff to get hold of, especially in quantity. Someone's going to come out of this poorly. It'll all end in tears**.
"They are moving in time, to a heavy wooden door."
Moving, are they? Excuse me whilst I shudder silently. If I trod on them, would they squash or crunch underfoot? Probably unwise, as Peter never mentioned janitors of cleaning staff in this wonderland, and blood is awfully difficult to get out of carpets, especially when congealed***.
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| Imagine. Millions of 'em ... |
A Technical Issue
I see that Facebook has changed the way posts display, which - well, you know your conservative, stick-in-the-mud, We Fear Change, take it easy scribe, who takes 364 days to get used to be another year older. I'm not sure if I approve or not. Art?
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| Evidence |
* A man can dream, can't he?
** Of blood, probably.
*** Er - so I've been told. Yeah. I was told.
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