All's Fair In Love And War. NOT!

Excuse Me - 
 - whilst I work up a creative head of steam.  You know me, I normally have pages of notes to work from and transcribe, yet not today.  In fact today's outline consists of 10 words and 6 numbers.  Art?

Eyes right

     Of course this isn't the entire truth - I wouldn't be Conrad if I was honest and open, would I? - as there are some scattered notes elsewhere in the book above.  Still, this is going to be a test of raw creative talent, or burbling nonsense, whichever you feel more comfortable with.
     So!  Let us get on with it, and tackle that title.  Where does that phrase "All's fair in love and war" come from?  Utter nonsense.  Don't tell me, Bill Shakespeare, the lying deceitful jackanapes <goes off and Googles> Oh my!  Bill is innocent of this crime*.  Apparently it appears in print in 1850 from novelist Frank Smedley, which smacks of medley, to be frank.
     At the time of writing it might have been correct to state that all was fair in war, as the first Geneva Convention wasn't formally agreed until 1864, and the Hague Convention didn't appear until 1899.  
     "So what?" I hear you countervail, betraying a worrying lack of concern for your fellow Hom. Sap.
     Well, take the dum-dum bullet, so-called because it was first manufactured at the Indian State Arsenal at Dum Dum.  This peculiarly unpleasant bullet was designed with a hollow point, which meant it mushroomed upon hitting it's target.  Art?

Just add imagination ...

     I leave it to you to consider how you'd feel if you were the target -
     So, Mister Medley, all is not fair in war.
     The same goes for love.  If you commit a crime passionel, then pleading for the case to be dismissed because it was all for love will not get you very far**.
     "Yes your honour, I deliberately poisoned/shot/strangled Candace because she was in competition for the affections of Armand, whom I am madly in love with."
     "Case dismissed."
     "Oh, thank you, Armand!"

     Eh?  That didn't go as expected.  Anyway, we've got more to cover, so let the phaeton of phantasy move out at a gentle pace!

If Only If Only
You may recall Conrad - not exactly gloating, but certainly posting with a sense of smugness at the very least - retailing the story of the noble, courageous and idiotic band of work brethren whom went on an excursion up Mount Snowdon to raise money for charity.  Art?

In all their sodden glory

     I say "excursion" because Liam denied utterly that it was a "walk" and insisted the end stages were rock-climbing.
     Well, isn't it a shame the pack didn't delay the event till this weekend?  Gloriously sunny and warm, more like a summer's day than this summer's days.
     As I said, not gloating, exactly ...

25 Areas In Which The UK Totally Triumphs Over The US
For the purposes of clarity, I shall forego my usual insistence that 1776 never happened and allow the use of the term "US".  Don't forget, Mike plaintively appeals at the beginning of this clip to retain your sense of humour, which is easy enough if you're a Brit, and possibly less so if you're a Sou - American.
     Number 19:

     Well, we have the advantage of being closer to them.  Now that we have the Channel Tunnel, it's even easier to travel there and confirm the truism that France is a beautiful country only spoiled by being full of the French.  One reason we in the Pond of Eden still hold this (incorrect!) attitude is that for centuries and centuries the French were our deadly opponents, and it took the First Unpleasantness to begin to change this.  
     Number 18:

    True enough.  In a nod to Conrad's constant assertion that America is really South Canada, the British flag is actually part of an American flag, that of Hawaii.  Art?

The flag of Hawaii

     Why on earth the Union Jack is part of the Hawaiian flag I have no idea, and since I'm on a tight schedule I don't have time to nosey.
     Now, if only we could get it on the Tricolour ...

Finally -
In yet more evil forward planning, Conrad needs to post this to get a rhyme going.

It will all make sense, I promise

*  Only this one.  He's got plenty of others to answer for.
**  Except maybe France.  They go in for that sort of romantic twaddle over there.