Going Sober For October

Why Yes Indeed!
Several people have asked why I do this - or, in their words, " - put yourself through it", which frankly tells you more about them than me.
     A few reasons spring to mind.  One, to prove to self and others that I am not a raving alcoholic.  I know a couple of colleagues at work who have started and lasted as long as six days.  Secondly, it gives my ailing liver a holiday and a chance to recuperate, although the lack of alcohol is perhaps counterbalanced by the vast quantities of tea and fizzy pop that I get through.  A gallon of tea per weekend if I'm pushing it.  Thirdly, it's very good news for one's bank balance.  Instead of purchasing a firkin of ale each weekend and bottles of beer every time I go into a shop, or when shopping for food and thinking "Oh I'll just get that hogshead of mead, too," this all gets cut out of your shopping.  The fourth reason is the unspeakably higher moral ground that you hold as a result, though gloasting about your halo can get a bit wearing for all the lesser mortals.

Conrad: sober as an anvil

     So!  I have time for one last blast tonight, except I can't get stupefied as I'm off to the Church Organ World recital tomorrow and appearing wrinkled and bloodshot probably won't go down too well.  I also wondered if there's a dress code.  It isn't stated anywhere, but is it implicit in the audiences who attend these events?  I shall have to foresake my "Urutsukidoji" tee shirt and distressed jeans for <shudder> a shirt and trousers.
     Oh, wait a minute, I forgot, Darling Daughter nicked that tee shirt years ago.

Speaking Of Whom -
As you should know by now, Conrad descended upon Yo! Sushi last night.  Much as the Assyrians fell upon whomever like a wolf on the fold*, so your humble scribe fell upon the free pickled ginger.  Ha!  Take that, ginger!
     Which has nothing to do with what comes next.
     I know, I know, king of the non sequiteur, that's me.  
     SPOON!

The Tick's battle cry.  Now you know.

     DD stated that she wants to recreate iconic film props from horror films, which she may regret ever saying, for three reasons - Degsy, Wonder Wifey and myself.  We all had a lot - and I mean a LOT - to say about horror films = the good, the bad, ones to avoid and why "Sharknado 4" is awesome due to dudes battling flying sharks with chainsaws.  Plus what props to recreate: a kitchen knife and a bit of shower curtain, a petri dish of blood and a hot wire ...

Ha!  Mac wasn't Ready!

BOOJUM! Reviews Film Trailers
Because I'm not going to detail "The Girl With All The Gifts" just yet, though I took notes, as it would involve too many spoilers and reveals for a film that has only just come out, I shall focus instead on the trailers.  Since I actually watched these film clips I shall suspend our normal review rules - go only on the title and make everything up - and that way I can gloast of both reviewing films and inflicting my worldview on you.  Both a frightening prospect.
     "War On Everyone": an action comedy co-starring Michael Pena - who is always a good thing - about a couple of corrupt American cops.  It featured an awful lot of doors being kicked in.  I would class it as "gleefully nihilistic" and "Empire" rather liked it.  We shall see.

They are Very Bad People

     "Miss Peregrine ": and I got too bored about the title to bother with the rest of it.  Tim Burton does Harry Potter, essentially.

Peregrin Took.  Close enough

     "Rings":  I would class this as "Totally Un-necessary Remake".  Of a Japanese film, which Conrad was singularly unimpressed with.  This one seems predictable to the point of tedium, and I have to say that big special effects do not redeem a bad film.

Ah!  These rings are a lot more interesting

     "Arrival": now, this one looks interesting.  Aliens in spaceships arrive at different points on planet Earth.  How do we communicate with them?  Hopefully not with guns,  with language instead.  Guns as back-up of course - you lot are Hom. Sap. after all.

"Please have your passport and visa ready for inspection."

* Here "fold" is actually a sheep pen full of sheep, rather than a piece of origami, though you probably guessed that as wolves are not known for paper-manipulating skill.

Hitting A Half Century

No!  Nothing To Do With Cricket
Surely by now you have realised that your humble scribe knows nothing of and cares less for sport of any kind, at least until Jaffa Cake Eating or Fig Roll Devouring are up there as Olympian choices.
     Heck, this isn't even about me, it's about Degsy hitting the big Fifty.  Hence his half-century.  Which is the letter "L" in Roman numerals, and I made an hilarious pun about it on his card.  Which you'll just have to take on trust, I don't have time to pander to your sketicism.
     "Ah, cynical and jaded, both Conrad's prime character traits!" I hear you judge, and really you aren't far wrong.
     Anyway, Degsy is partly to blame for me posting this so late.  Any brickbats, please direct at him.  For we went to Yo! Sushi in the Manchester Arndale Centre* for tea tonight, joined by Darling Daughter, as a celebration of his L-plate status. 

Add caption

 I didn't get there until 5:15 a.m. and already Table 4 was a wasteland of different coloured bowls.  Of course I then had to stuff myself with sushi, which takes a long time as sushi are small and I am large.  Darling Daughter was also horrified as Conrad devoured handfuls of the delicious pickled ginger that the management so thoughtfully provide for free, which is one of the best bits about Yo! Sushi.  Thank you, managers!

The definition of delicious in nutrition

 Then we had the travel torment of rush-hour traffic in Manchester, then more traffic out of Manchester - was it stalking us, the rascal? - and I only sat down to type out this tat a scant few seconds ago.  Not only that, Pub Quiz is Go! this week, so I have a window of opportunity that is gradually shrinking.  

      

 A Laugh At Lunch
I have to thank Pete for providing yesterday's intellectual diversion, by giving me a copy of The Metro and thus the Cryptic Crossword.  I couldn't finish the damn thing over lunch, however.  This was not due to lack of mental acuity on the part of your humble scribe, but rather more to Javed and Pete's incessant chit-chat and banter.  Pete held forth on power-napping whilst using public transport, which he recommended as a technique.  Javed gave a practical reason why this is a spectacularly BAD idea - he'd fallen asleep on the train to Huddersfield and woken up in Newcastle.  It may be a city of culture, Newcastle, however, if you don't actually reside there in a domicile, all the culture there is will, Conrad feels, seem a bit hollow.
     Also, your modest artisan being literally dozy, deliberately falling asleep on the bus is a no-no.

     Talking of papers, here's yesterday's scrounged copy of "i".  Or "i" if U prefer.

Smashed it!

     Not entirely sure about the "Stand Off Half" but then refer to post one for Conrad's expertise on sport.

The Flophouse And "R.I.P.D."
The only real drawback to getting a lift into work with Degsy is the absence of The Metro, but since First Bus also fail to supply it (there you go, two epic themes referred to in yesterday's blog) it's a movable moot point, all the more so thanks to Pete.
     The lack of a cryptic crossword is compensated for by the spirit-lifting banter of listening to the Flophouse podcasters - Dan, Stewart and Elliot.  This trio never fail to send each other into fits of laughter, which is quite infectious and a good set up for the day.
     I shall now mention what they did, the film "R.I.P.D."  

R.I.P.Dire

     Conrad has seen this film and couldn't recall a single thing about it.  Nada.  Nul. Nought.  It stars Ryan Reynolds.  Still nada.  Jeff Bridges?  Ah, yes, I kind of - no, gone again.  Still nada.
     The Flopsters are not kind to R.I.P.D.  They criticise it as lazy film-making, made by someone who simply filed the numbers of a series of better films.  In fact, remember that Indonesian zombie film that rips off "Aliens" by simply reciting the whole script over their execrable cinematic taint?  That's "R.I.P.D."'s relationship to "M.I.B."

Ryan and Jeff as we see them

     The Flopsters do point out, with a touch of awe, that James Hong, the elderly Chinese man in the picture above, has 387 credits on IMDB, which either smacks of studio laziness or the best agent EVAH.

Finally -
Please see below for the world's biggest Everton mint:

*  Yes, I understand this specificity is padding the word count.  However, I like to be precise and keep you well-informed.  Terrified, but well-informed.