Admit it, though, it's a lot catchier than "A Haddock In A Paddock" or "A Carp With A Harp*". Quite the terrifying concept, too - imagine zombie bream traversing the timeways, popping out at intervals to snack on hapless passers-by and spreading the infection across millenia -
Steven Moffat? Helloooo! I've got a terrific idea for a Doctor Who episode -
Beagle Discovered On Mars
I know, I know, you were expecting Conrad to drag in a canny reference to "Fred Basset" along the lines of "Fred Basset refuses to comment"
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| He does, too - no thought-bubble |
Well I am slightly more subtle than that.
Meet Sam.
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| Sam. |
Sam's an Eagle. An American eagle. A particular species of eagle - the Bald Eagle.
Abbreviated here to Beagle. Any comments about Mars, Sam?
|
Well, apparently our representative Beagle - has no comment.
"Lorry"
It struck me today - no, I don't mean a lorry struck me, I mean the concept of "Lorry" struck me today, and here I add for any people currently living outside the UK that what you call a "truck" is in fact a lorry.
| Laurie Anderson. Close enough. |
Where does the word come from? wondered Conrad. Is it perhaps - French? Because it doesn't sound Latin or Greek. Middle German? Gallifreyan?
None of the above. It comes from a mid-nineteenth century word "lurry", which means "to tow" and which initially referred to low-loading railway wagons. It became associated with cargo-carrying vehicles around the year 1911.
 |
| Okay, it wasn't close enough. A British motorised pantechnicon lorry circa 1965 |
Rejected Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode Titles
Still no squeals of protest from the on-line Trek fan community, which Conrad instantly interprets as licence to commit offence. Let us begin!
Devolution
Who Swatches The Watchers
The Ponding
Boob Trap
The Vengeance Actor
The Shunted
The Sigh Ground
All good stuff! Well, to me. Your mileage may vary.
Hit With The Coincidence Hammer - Again!
What did Sophie** post about on Facebook last week? About going to a drawing class, and how people look askance at each other, wondering who's going to be the life model? Until, obviously, one person takes their clothes off.
What did Jade post yesterday on Facebook? A sketch of her, the life model, in a drawing class.
I don't know if it was the same class; I hope not, as the chances of that really happening are somewhat astronomical, although this means I might win the lottery.
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| What my first purchase will be |
Die Antwoord
Well, I took Mark's advice and watched a video of these South African not-quite-sure-what-to-call-them musically, "Ugly Boy" the track in question. Lots of blood, and swearing, and partial nudity, and the implied use of drugs that you don't get over the counter at Boots. So I'm not going to post a link as BOOJUM! prides itself on
Dog Buns! Mister Hand you traitor!
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| Mister Hand wielding his mighty bamboo skewer |
Mischief, Manisha And Myself
Manisha has featured briefly in these posts, notably as the willing victim in the "Man Of Steal" photograph. She is small but positively brimming with mischief*** and saw an opportunity today when making drinks in the Green Kitchen.
"Tell us, Conrad!" I can hear you calling. "Tell us of this mighty jape!"
Very well. Manisha had several drinks, including one made up in a bottle that looked like a urine sample from a Chernobyl rat.
'That's Dan's Berocca^,' she exclaimed to Conrad, who pointed out it looked exactly like -
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| One gets you frothy and the other cleans dishes |
Would Dan have noticed a substitution? Probably not, until he burped and projected bubbles everywhere.
* With no mutually-opposable digits I'm not sure how they'd play a harp.
** Not our Sophie, their Sophie
** Oh go on I'll say it - she's "Miss Chief"
^ Legal, apparently. Conrad stills views it with a great deal of suspicion.
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