A Bit Mediterranean Today

Not, Of Course, In Terms Of Weather
It is snowing again tonight in the cold bleak hinterland of Royton.  The flakes stop for a while and then return thicker than ever, which makes the 24 bus's performance this evening rather surprising.  It turned up on time, wasn't too crowded, didn't get rammed and - this is the strange bit - kept on schedule even when struggling into the snowstorms.  Clearly First Bus have miscalculated drastically if this happened, as compared to normal.

First Bus management take it out on the driver ...

The First Mediterranean Touch
I am, as you are no doubt aware, reading "Thirst" by Steven Mithen at the moment, a very interesting work that details water management in ancient times.

Say "Hi!" to Steve - give him a wave ...

     And here we come across the term "Chrismon", a portmanteau version of "Christ's Monogram", which imposes the Greek* letter Chi over the Greek letter Rho, thus:

     Conrad has seen this symbol before and never knew what it was.  Now we all do.
     Oh, it was inscribed and enamelled onto a huge acquaduct, as it was -

"Apotropic"
Which means an artwork or artefact intended to fend off evil spirits or bad luck.  It comes from the Greek word "Apotropion", which means "To turn away".
     What kind of bad luck?  Well, the Balkans are so-named after volcanoes and they also have an unpleasantly high rate of earthquakes.  Not the kind that Conrad mentioned yesterday in connection with Winchester - earthquakes in Greece** can level towns.
     So.  The chrismon may not work, but it can't do any harm.

Ape. Tropic.  Close enough

"Basil"
Not the herb, nor yet the harrassed hotelier of "Fawlty Towers" but the name.  It comes from ancient Greek*** and the term "Basileus", which means "king".
     A pronunciation tip for any eager South Canadians present:  you say "Ba-Zill". Not - NOT! - as in your version of the herb "Bay-Zul".  
     Just don't get me started on Oregano ...


                                             Clearly a king.
"Submarine"
The 2010 film directed by that talented chap Richard Ayoade.
     THERE ARE NO SUBMARINES!
     Conrad intended to enjoy what must be a film about the Royal Navy.  NOT AT ALL!
     That is all.

Oh look, Richard, you're getting an award for "Submarine!"
Can you tell I'm fibbing?

The UNIT UK Hypothesis
Like Conrad, you must have spent many hours pondering why UNIT in the Seventies encountered so many madmen, monsters, hideous alien invaders, and renegade traffic wardens as featured in that classic documentary series "Doctor Who".
     Well, I believe I have at least a partial explanation.
     Firstly, Britain is an island.
     I realise this might come as a surprise to some readers, and some residents, as we frequently appear to be under the water rather than on top of it^.
     Nor can you mention the Channel Tunnel - in UNIT's glory days it didn't exist.

Channel tunnel entrance circa 1972

     So, if old Leo the Lord of the Leopard-Lice manages to take over the whole country, the only way that NATO can retake it is by a large-scale airborne or amphibious invasion.  Neither of these are easy things to pull off and would require a lot of planning and preparation.  Plus you can never tell which way the French will jump - they didn't want us in the Common Market and might see the rule of Leo as getting their own way by the back door.
     Secondly, the British army is relatively small.  The UK doesn't have conscription, and in the Seventies was practically unique in this way, as every other army in Europe was bloated to the gills with millions of conscripts.  The Russian army, for example, was bigger than the population of small European states, although it was rubbish at doing anything more martial than drinking vodka^^.
     So, a small army - which had substantial commitments to Ulster and the British Army of the Rhine in Germany, meaning not a lot of uniformed chaps left at home to fend off Snotula and his Cyber-Sandwich Army of Sausages.

Closest I could get ...

     Thirdly, a network of road and rail links that would enable an invading force of were-mushrooms^^^ to spread rapidly across the country, spreading fear and loathing everywhere.
     Of course, I could be over-thinking this a bit ....

"Accione Mutante"
Finished watching this last night, and it really doesn't have a PC bone in it's celluloid carcass.  How to define it?  Bonkers tasteless gory Spanish science-fiction comedy, which is a bit of a mouthful yet hits the nail squarely on the head.

Oh, and lots of guns as well.

* The Mediterranean link.
** Still with the Med links.
*** You can almost see the blue waters, can't you?
^ "Thirst" doesn't mention the UK in connection with water shortages.
^^ But if you wan't a huge force of hardened vodka-swillers, the Russians are your man.
^^^ These are a real thing.