Appears to be in spate right now. I got home at 18:15 - another cock-up by First Bus, they were once again on time, uncrowded and by now the drivers responsible are being subjected to evil tortures, or replaced by robot duplicates*, or sent to the First Bus Brainwashing Facility in Chorlton.
Where was I?
Oh, yes, time.
 |
| No! Art Department - no, hang on, I think you've got something there - |
- I think we can dispense with a blow-by-blow of Conrad slowly pushing a trolley around, although any insomnia sufferers can let me know in the Comments and I'll do a special post just for them.
By the time everything is put away it's 20:20, which is what Conrad would like his vision to be, instead of 5:8.7
Gone off on a tangent again, haven't I? O well, on with the motley!
 |
| NO! O I give up. |
Why did this pop into my head at the bus stop?
No idea. Sorry, can't explain Conrad's thought processes, except to say that some are rather odd.
"Apophis" muttered Conrad to himself, causing the old lady also waiting to edge away to a safer distance. 'Is it an asteroid or dwarf planet?"
Close enough - it's termed a "Near Earth Object" or "NEO". In this case there was a worry that it would impact Earth in 2029, given a chance of 2.7%, or say one in forty.
Cue screaming tabloid headlines:
 |
| Translation: "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" |
Because what happened is what usually happens with potential impactors; more observations over time allow the object's trajectory to be predicted with greatly increased accuracy, meaning we know Apophis will miss Earth by a country mile.
This is excellent news for me. I don't want my invasion fleet to take over a shattered wasteland!
Gas: Putting The "Ghastly" Into Warfare
I note that there is an article about the commencement of gas warfare in World War One on the Beeb website:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-31042472
And of course it features the iconic painting by Sargent of gas victims. What very few people realise is that these men will recover, as the unstoppable weeping faded over time; J. Campbell, author of "In The Cannon's Mouth", gives a heartfelt account of getting blinded by an unlocated puddle of mustard gas and his eyes consequently running like taps. Inhaling the gas was a lot more dodgy and could leave survivors with breathing problems. Nasty stuff! Invented by, one has to point the finger, the Germans.
 |
| Helmut Grockenberger, Icon of Evil! |
When The Bally Hun came up with a new war gas, the British and French would throw up their hands in horror, loudly blame the Boche for this new frightfulness (looking over their shoulders to make sure America got the message) and then copy it, dishing it back ten times over.
Was it effective? Not really, on the Western Front. Protective gear matched the development of gasses, meaning that all it really did was slow things down tremendously.
 |
| In some mysterious way this has to do with gas as well. Answers on a postcard or in the comments .. |
Now, this wasn't merely a random thought popping into my head. Well, not quite. Anna proudly displayed her bag bought in London, with a fox embroidered onto it.
'What's the Latin for "Fox"?' I instantly asked, as we all do**.
Manisha then conjured up dark magic with her Devil's matchbox***
'Is it "Vulpecula"?' I guessed^.
Close enough - "Vulpes", which is when Conrad remembered his old insult of "Vulpecine Termagant".
 |
| Anna. Foxy lady. |
You see what transposing a couple of vowels does? Completely changes the meaning of the word. From someone taking advantage of a service to an artisan providing bespoke clothing for stage, screen and television.
Although - a Costumer would have Customers, and if they - the Costumer - were part of a contracting party to a film studio, then they might be a Customer Costumer, so they in turn would have Customer Costumer Customers, and if these people (presumably actors) defined themselves in a particular way to their fanbase then the original party would be Customer Costumer Customers Customer's.
Is that clear?
 |
| Conrad defines "clear" |
Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
I dunno. I try pushing the boundaries and - nobody even blinks. Or Blanks, in this case. Or - but let us proceed with the usual nonsense! And no proper titles, either, as that saves time.
"Slink"
"Hovel of the Daleks"
"Shovel of the Daleks"
"Shovelling the Daleks"
"The Swear of Peladon"
"The Curs of Fenric"
"The Seeds of Parsley"
"The Basque of Mandragora"
"The Quite Large Bang"
"Voyage of the Dimmed"
"Terror of the Verve"^^
Oh how they make me laugh!
Cake
Emotional support mechanism, please tug the forelock for cake. Why is it so wonderful?
Well, cake will not desert, deceive or dismiss you. You can eat it in public with no sense of shame. It is always ready to be your friend, always loyal, always delicious. It can even, on occasion, supply two or perhaps - this is pushing the limits, rather - three of your Five a Day.
Although it can put several inches on your hips.
Speaking Of The Verve -
Time to return to our in-depth analysis of the lyrics to "Bittersweet Symphony". Take it away Richard Ashcroft!
Well I never pray
That's okay, Richard, we are a tolerant society and neo-pagan animists like you are still valued members of society.
But tonight I'm on my knees yeahOh dear! Do you have mobility issues? You can order crutches from the NHS, you know
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
Richard, what you need is Ibuprofen and a referral to a doctor!
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
Er - Richard - have you been taking -
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
I'm glad to see you haven't been smoking dubious substances. However - it's YOUR job to sing!
And at an hour in creation that's it for tonight, pilgrims!
Tomorrow: Stairs - are they really your best defence against Daleks?
* Actually that would explain SO MUCH about First Bus!
** Don't we?
*** "A Mobile Phone" - translation by Mister Hand
^ Apophis, Vulpes - get me and my Mad Latin Skillz
^^ How bittersweet
No comments:
Post a Comment