Been and done the shopping after work, haven't I, and then had to put it away whilst nibbling* on some Kabanossi sausage, which is apparently full of things that taste great but which are bad for you - like everything else nice to eat - and Edna certainly couldn't finish off the last morsel. Though that didn't stop her watching every piece being eaten, and every movement of sausage from counter to mouth.
It made me feel a bit guilty - oh no, wait a minute, I'm lying, I didn't feel at all guilty. Tee hee! Ain't I a rotter!
EXOPLANETS!
Yes, more astronomy. Yes, it is important, because at the rate you Hom. Sap. are mucking up your planet, there won't be anything left for my many million minions to invade in 2247.
Consider this. Before 1992 we didn't know if there were any exoplanets beyond the Solar system. Now we have evidence of thousands and thousands, with the probability that there are billions in our galaxy alone.
A decade ago the astronomical techniques for detecting planets could only pick out gas giants like Jupiter or Saturn. Now, thanks to the Kepler space telescope and increasingly sophisticated detection techniques used with Hubble, Earth-sized planets are being detected.
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| Artist's impression |
And within a generation, photographic technology will be able to pick out ones with an atmosphere containing liquid water.
Won't that be an interesting time!
Canard: Those Economical French
Conrad mentioned the satirical French newspaper "Le Canard Enchaine" yesterday. I explained about "Canard" meaning "Duck", which is not all it means.
Canard: A foreplane used in the design and operation of aircraft, viz:
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| RAF Typhoon recognition In the case of No. 3 - it's coming at you. Duck! |
Canard: An untruth or a lie. Pretty much the whole of BOOJUM! from end to end.
Canard: A village in Canada.
Galaxy Quest
I know, I know what you're thinking - but if they called it "Worst Bus", nobody would ever - Oh! Sorry, you were wondering about Conrad's referral to "Galaxy Quest". Well, a giant hole in the plot did occur to me this afternoon.
Let me set the scene. Malthazar, the Thermian commander, is being tortured by Sarris, the Reptillectian** commander. Sarris realises that the "historical documents" of Thermian legend are actually only human television programmes.
"You've done far more damage than I ever could!" he gloats.
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| Poor chap. Ugly, stupid and - only one eye. |
You see, my green scaley antagonist, the Thermians, inspired by their legendary Historical Documents, have built a Faster-than-light interstellar warship that bristles with weapons and technology.
And which blows you up.
Now who's feeling a bit damaged?
"Into The Woods"
Conrad spotted this full-page advert in The Metro this morning. I don't read Manchester's finest chip-shop wrapper on the bus - people might see me! - so I wait until getting into work, where people know I might be moving my eyes across the pages but I'm not really reading it.
Anyway, there was a forbidding, dark, gloomy sinister advert full of dark browns and blacks and twisted foliage.
"Looking for fun!" carrolled the title. "A whirl of pure pleasure!" chortled a review.
It looks as funny and pleasurable as Distilled Dostoevsky.
Sounds great! I'll go watch it next week!
Powers
Conrad has to eat humble pie***. I am currently reading "Z", volume 13 of the collected comic series, waiting for the television series to show.
WHEN WILL IT COME!
It was scheduled to be broadcast in December 2014 but hasn't debuted yet.
Bah!
Conrad is also waiting for the Trade Paperback of "United States of Murder", which was supposed to be out a month ago.
Bah!
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| Hmmm. Bad teeth? I'll see you Austin and raise you - |
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| You tell 'em Goon! |
Oh - "Dorood Salaam"? - How Do You Do, in Persian.
* Actually gorging.
** I made this up! Can you tell?
*** Which is quite tasty, no idea why it has such a downer reputation.
^ Quality comedy or squalid drivel? Only you can tell!
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