You dirty minded lot! It isn't even a politician that got voted into office by lots of people.
"So tell us what it is, Conrad!" I hear you pleading.
Well, here's an interesting thing. Yesterday I put down the title "Kim Chee" as a potential item, vaguely remembering that it's a Korean dish that I've had before, rice and a soft fried egg being in there somewhere.
However, when I come to Google for the foodstuff, I end up reading about pickled cabbage. I am not one to scoff* at pickled cabbage, and am inordinately fond of sauerkraut, but it wasn't what I was looking for.
"Bibim Bap!" I exclaimed, in my Eureka moment.
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| The Associate and "Bap De La Bap" - close enough |
Conrad may be googling for the recipe this weekend.
"Taken 3"
There's a huge double-page advert for this thriller in The Metro today, making Conrad - no, forcing Conrad - to look at it with a critical, even jaundiced eye.
Forgive me a moment, I'm just going to break a cardinal rule of BOOJUM! and just pop over to IMDB - well, it's already made it's money back in America alone. There is a rule of thumb Conrad has observed in box-office takings - what a film makes in South Canada, it will make across the rest of the world.
What's the tag-line for this film in the advert?
"It ends here".
<ahem> <polite coughing noise> Conrad he no think so. If it's making that much money - and gets a passable 6.5 IMDB rating - it will most definitely NOT end here.
After all, we still have parents, aunts, nephews and cousins to work through - that's up to Taken 7 taken*** care of.
"The Keeper of Traken 3" Close enough
Bagpipe Classics
Conrad has to be careful listening to the pipes. The sad tunes make him cry like a seven-year old, the fierce ones bring down the Red Mist and an urge to hunt Sassenachs with a claymore.
Anyway, I have been listening to what might be termed "Celtic fusion" on the bus recently, a bunch of Canadians playing traditional Scottish folk tunes on modern instruments, and came across a tune that I have heard many a time in the past. I didn't realise it, but I have been hearing "Hielan' Laddie" all these years. The record company, however, not wanting to confront both North and South Canadians, labelled it "Highland Laddy".
Which brings us neatly, via Jamie McCrimmon, to Doctor Who -
| A hat and a scarf. All an intrepid interstellar explorer really needs |
Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
Ah me, how this amuses me! You - well, who knows, nobody's made any comments. I can therefore pretend that you all love these dreadful punning titles, even if you have no idea what Conrad is prating on about.
Margo Polo
The Sensorbites
The Crustades
The Wet Planet
The Deafly Assassin
The Power of Droll
The Bower of Kroll
Doomsdad
The Runaway Brie
The Shakespeare Cod
Gridlick
There you have it for today, all the way from First Doctor to Tenth Doctor.
Stingray: Performance Issues
NO! Good lord, get your minds out of the gutter, this has nothing to do with the love triangle of Troy Tempest, Marina and Atlanta Shore.
What I refer to, obviously - obviously! - is the technical data about the super-sub Stingray, which can travel at a maximum speed of 600 knots, which to landlubbers like you and I, is 1,000 m.p.h.
Technically this means that a Stingray-class submarine could traverse the world's oceans in a matter of hours -
HOWEVER!
At this speed you are going to get the aquatic equivalent of high-performance aircraft and "airstrike". Stingray, storming along at 600 knots, is going to encounter things we call "fish" and "sharks" and even "whales". What happens then? Does the super-sub create a bow-wave that shunts aside prospective victims? Or will it's travel across the world's oceans be marked by a tell-tale bouillabaisse^?
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| "Stingray woz 'ere" |
Metering The Metro
As you are surely aware by now, Conrad holds The Metro in low regard. Today, being the kind of person who resorts to numbers and statistics whenever possible, he sat down at the atrium table and tutted and sighed and - saw an opportunity to bash this spilt-tea-soaker-upper with numbers. Incontrovertible numbers!
Clearly, BOOJUM!'s stinging sarcasm has had results, as witness today's front page:
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| If you can drag your attention away from Silicon Sue, notice the "accidentally" obscured sigil. |
Let us proceed to "Guilty Pleasures" and a small item about Chris Hemsworth. Viz:
Statistically, we are looking at an article that is 28 square centimetres in total area. Of this, how much is actually Chris Hemsworth?
2.5 square centimetres. One-eleventh.
Conrad suspects that The Metro could string out extracts from an interview that they have poached from elsewhere for months. Months^^!
Oh - "Analect" - a fragment or extract from literature. Thank you for your patience.
* Do you see what I did there? Do You?
** And in the background they were playing Korean fusion versions of Beatles songs. Rather surreal.
*** Do you see what I did there? Do You?
^ Of course, I may be over-thinking this a bit.
^^ Much as with <ahem> the Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles. Oh gosh!
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