As you surely know by now, Conrad is not over-fond of chocolate. You should know this because you should have been reading the blog. You have been, haven't you**?
Anyway: chocolate. If it's wrapped around caramel or honeycomb or mint fondant, all very well, that's tolerable. A bar not nothing but chocolate through-and-through - no. Conrad draws the line. There's some chocolate bars still knocking about the Upstair Lair after several months, because they were purchased as visual puns. Not to eat.
Conrad recalls seeing "Chocolat au Pain" on sale at the Co-Op and thinking "Yes it does pain me, a waste of good bread". One of his more horrid gustatorial events was necking a miniature Christmas pudding bought cheap at Asda.
Dog Buns! It wasn't just a mini Christmas pudding, it was a chocolate Christmas pudding. No, hang on, chocolate. That's better.
WHO THE HELL PUTS CHOCOLATE IN A CHRISTMAS PUDDING!
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| Yeah, except for the "Kill" bit. Misprint. Should read "Bill". |
"You want RAGE?" roared Conrad. "Sugar and lemon RIGHT NOW!"
Small Earthquake In Winchester
Er - that's about it, really. Just to say that Conrad remembers a small earthquake in Salford several years ago. It felt as if a truck had hit the building, except it hadn't.
There you go.
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| Small earthquake in Winchester, bit of snowfall in Royton |
Coincidence, Welcome Back
Just happened to come across the word for "Public baths" in Greek - "Balaneieion" - in my reading matter "Thirst" - about water management in the ancient world.
Well well well^, what had I just been reading in the Notebook dating back several months? "Balneomaniac" from Mr Pynchon's "Against The Day", meaning "one obsessed with bathing".
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| Bath. Well named! |
" - And Through The Round Window -"
Only people of a certain age will remember "Playschool", a television program for very small children or students with a low attention span. Imagine The Muppets without any muppets, and a collection of tatty old dolls instead. One of their regular diversions was to show three blank windows - a round one, a square one, and another that Conrad can't be bothered to recall. Then one of the presenters stated "And through the Dodecacosehedral^^ Window -" and a bland little film of gambolling lambs or tulip fields or a baker would play.
Of course, if things were run by Conrad, matters would be a little more exciting.
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| "And today, through the Round Window, we see -" |
| "UNRESTRAINED NUCLEAR WARFARE!" "Thanks for watching, children." |
Ah, once again Conrad resorts to crude mockery and japes. Well, it's his blog and he can do what he likes with it. If you don't like it you can always Comment.
"The Doctor's Fife" ("The Doctor's Wife")
"A Good Man Goes To Bar" ("A Good Man Goes To War")
"The Girl Who Wailed" ("The Girl Who Waited")
"The Dog Complex" ("The God Complex")
"Closing Tim" ("Closing Time")
"The Wadding of River Song" ("The Wedding of River Song")
"A Town Called Percy" ("A Town Called Mercy")
Ho ho ho. Conrad declares himself amused. Your mileage probably varies.
The First Upload
As you no doubt recall, Conrad gloated at the weekend about getting dozens of classical CD's for a fiver. That's the good news. The slightly less good news is how long it will take to upload these to I-tunes and then sync to my i-pod^^^.
This process may take a while. I'll let you know.
* She has nothing to do with this, it's just that she rhymes
** There will be a test later.
*** Nothing under this supernumerary today. Just testing.
^ See? See what I did there? Water and - o you do.
^^ This may not exist, actually, but it sounds impressive, doesn't it?
^^^ Conrad, he's so technically sophisticated, innit.
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