Conrad Was Most Annoyed!

 - And Since We Are Trying To Get A Visual Pun Past The Sleepless Siberian -
(Hamsters, that is) this Intro can serve as a diversion.  Look, you can see their eeeevil little eyes, rolling in their sockets -
     Anyway, as I am sure you remember, gentle reader, it takes very little for Conrad to fly into a frothing rage and this morning was no exception.  I'd had my eye on this publication:

      - for several days and was poised to purchase this morning, Poised! I tell you, as there were only three copies and they might get snapped up at any moment.
     "Sorry, this isn't on the system," apologised the assistant.  "I'll just have to go and put it on, it will only take a couple of minutes."
     Well the system is obviously powered by Cyber-technology, as it hang and froze and generally misbehaved, causing the assistant to apologise profusely.
     "I WANT THAT MAGAZINE!" Conrad informed the whole building.  "I WANT IT AND I'M GOING TO HAVE IT!  YOU'D BETTER NOT TRY AND FOB ME OFF!" and I fondled the multi-barrel laser cannon sewn into the lining of my coat -
     "You could come back at lunchtime?" suggested the assistant.
     'Oh!  Er - okay,' murmured Conrad.
     So I did.  And now I have:

Whoopee.  Whoopee for me.

O Noes!  What If - 
Paddington Bear had been taken up into the arms of the Brown family, not at the station we all love and know him by, but instead at the Shepherd's Bush station?

Well, I'm Back At The Thomas Pynchon Again
Yes, I've decided to tackle his first novel, "V".  Let's see how thoroughly those idiots in the Art Department can foul things up.

<sigh>  No!

     Try again:

Still nope.  Should have seen that one coming.

     Get it right this time or Mister Hand and his Bamboo Skewer of Deadly come to town!

Finally - U C V.

     As ever, Tom throws in convincing detail about things that may be real, or not, so you have to go look matters up.  "Apocheir", for example, is a word he uses to describe the action of a yo-yo*, and it's entirely made up.
     "W.A.V.E.S." on the other hand, is real.  "Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service", or the US Naval Reserve, females thereof.
     "Motley" - AGH! AGAIN WITH THE COINCIDENCES!  Conrad has been using the phrase "On with the motley!" to end the Intro on the blog, and has never seen it used anywhere else, ever.  These creepy coincidences kept happening with "The Crying of Lot 49", too.
     Philip K Dick?  Mr PKD?  Any ideas?

Philip K Dick Where Are You?
The casual consumption, in fact the promotion of drug consumption continues apace.
     What, you doubt Conrad's assertion?  Hmmm.

     So you no longer need to put up with the inconvenience of drinking to get your caffeine fix, you can merely buy a packet and gorge yourself silly.

"Wicked!  Oh, and yes, aliens are manipulating your reality, Conrad.  It's the only explanation."

Let The Mockery Begin!
Today we are back at Star Trek: The Next Generation, and again I will impress you with how clever I am by showing the original titles, otherwise my comedy genius might be missed.

Data's Dray (Data's Day

Devi's Dub (Devi's Due)

Fist Contact (First Contact)

Qpig (Qpid)

The Rumhead (The Drumhead)

The Hot (The Host)

The Perfect Mane (The Perfect Mate)

I, Bore (I, Borg)

Time's Barrow (Time's Arrow)

Elm of Fear (Realm of Fear)

Well, they make me laugh!

Gerry Anderson Ergonomics: Thunderbird 2's Launch Sequence
Yesterday we dealt with the ego issues of Virgil Tracy and his giant flying truck.  From ego to ergonomics**, because have you ever wondered about the sequence where TB2 bellies out from the giant cliff cavern, slides past the palm trees that obligingly bend backwards, gets hoisted on a ramp and then blasts off with a buffer-plate erecting behind?
     Well, you the cynic will respond that it takes up several minutes of film that's already been shot, meaning less original material needed.
     Yes, however let me labour the point and add a few pictures***:

Wonder wagon on the roll.

       Those wonders of arboreal inclination:

Moving like hands - palms down ...

     Then it gets ramped-up a bit:

Technically this is STOL

Here you can see the very elusive rear blast shield.

     Now, why do you think TB2 rolls well away from the cliff-house before taking off?
     Conrad shall elucidate.
     Imagine you're Alan Tracy, you covered yourself in glory the day before and you're celebrating with a special breakfast.  Buck's fizz, beans on toast, buck's fizz, bacon butties, buck's fizz, pigs in blankets, buck's fizz, scrambled eggs and buck's fizz.  It's 8:30 and you're feeling very mellow^, in fact you're only just managing to sit upright on the sofa in the cliff-house.  It has escaped your mind that Virgil is taking his aerial lorry out for a spin this morning, so when an appallingly loud noise causes the room to sway, cracks to appear in the ceiling and window panes to unseat, you fall off the sofa in horrified surprise^^.  TB2 is taking off directly under the cliff, and the backblast from it's mighty engines destroys every single window in the cliff-house and leaves you with concussion. 
     Even worse, you landed face-first in the scrambled egg.  So undignified!
     So.  Now you know.

* No mention of Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems yet, but I bet it's in there.
** See?  See what I did there?
*** Purely creative and not padding at all.
^ After going through two magnums of champagne, so would most people ...
^^ It might have been surprised horror, but we'll go with the first one