Coincidence! It's Like Buses -

Nothing For Ages
 - then they all come at once*.
     Yesterday, what am I doing in the afternoon but pondering on the film "Biggles".  I know it's fearful tat, but it's entertaining tat.  If I were - no, make that when I am a power in the land, I shall hire editors to strip out all the present-day nonsense and we shall see what that produces, eh?
     Anyway, what film is playing on television in the early evening when I sit down to a plate of risotto?
     No!  Not "Mama Mia".  Biggles!  Biggles was on.  

"Take that, you bally Hun blighter!" cursed Biggles.
Well, swearing for him.

     That's where the spooky sets in.  One thing I remember Biggles mucking about with was a dangerous explosive called "Ammonal".  Why, what's the warhead in this huge American bomb that I'm reading about composed of?  
     No!  Not vegetable suet!  Ammonal, it's made of ammonal.
     What's the surname of this person I've just gotten an e-mail from?
     "Parsons".
     What's the surname of the next person in the next e-mail I deal with?
     "Parson".
     Okay, it's not exact but by this time the hairs on the back of my neck were beginning to stir.
     What's the name of the building in the signature of the e-mail I'm reading.
     "Persimmon House".
     What's that fruit lying on my desk?
     A persimmon.
     At which point Conrad screams like a girl** and runs from the building.

Respect The Hyphen!
Indeed you should, because it may be the only thing that stands between you and a grisly death.  This, gentle reader, is "A Man Eating Lion":

Unpleasant to look at but not very deadly

     Whereas this is "A Man-Eating Lion":

It could be a woman.  But that would spoil the joke.

     So, go on your way better informed and - RESPECT THE HYPHEN!

Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
Once again Conrad is off into the fevered shallows of his imagination.  You can make the hurting stop if you care to, simply by Commenting.  But until then!

Four To Loomsday

Tim Flight

Snake Dan

Maudlin Undead

Entightenment

The Jive Doctors

Warriors Of the Dee

Timebash

Cattlefield

The Purse of Fenric

     Conrad doesn't care if you hate his punny humour, it makes him laugh***.

AND NOW FOR THE POST THAT MAKES THE MUSIC INDUSTRY QUIVER IN FEAR!

A Little Musical Critique:  Simon and Garfunkel's "58th Street Bridge" song
Okay, let us proceed.  Paul and Art, can you begin, please?  Good lads!

Slow down, you move too fast.

You got to make the morning last.

Just kicking down the cobble stones.

Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

     Yes, I see what you're doing here, your'e establishing the milieu, setting the background, pulling the audience in.  But - no mention of bridges!  And in the second line there is an obvious "have" missing between the first and second words.

Hello lamppost, What cha knowing?

I've come to watch your flowers growing.

Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?

Doot-in' doo-doo, Feelin' groovy.

     Look, guys, your spelling is  appalling, quite apart from THE LACK OF BRIDGES!  Not only that, a lamp-post^ is an inanimate object incapable of rational thought.  Just in case you were wondering.

Got no deeds to do, No promises to keep.

I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.

Let the morning time drop all it's petals on me.

Life, I love you, All is groovy.

     "No promises to keep"!  How dare you! WHERE ARE THE BRIDGES!  I WAS PROMISED BRIDGES IN THE TITLE!  BRIDGES!!  I MUST HAVE BRIDGES!!

"You called, Conrad, and Art Department answered."

Gerry Anderson And Ergonomics
I take it that you are all intimately familiar with one of the greats of British television, Sir Gerry Anderson^^.  Two minutes respectful silence, please.

     Now, having said that, I do rather take exception to some of Gerry's ideas, principally in the area of what might be termed "architectural ergonomics", and as an example we're going to look at Marineville, headquarters of the World Aqua Sea Patrol.

Marineville HQ' HQ

     There isn't anything to give a sense of scale here, but this is obviously a large building.  Notice the open-plan office building, either denoting a wonderfully laissez-faire attitude towards security, or - well, read on.
     Now what happens if the red flag gets tripped and the sirens start howling?
     Marineville - goes underground.

Nearly there.

Going underground.  A bit of a jam.

     This is where Conrad quibbles.  Rather than excavate enormous underground hangers with a mighty elevation system rated to lift hundreds if not thousands of tons, why not simply build the whole lot underground, permanently, in the first place?
     'Lack of sunlight,' explained Gerry to the scriptwriters.
     'They could have fluorescent lighting,' they replied.  'You know, the stuff that mimics-'
     'Hello, is that Personnel?  Get me new scriptw-'
     'LOVE the idea, Gerry!  We can make it work!'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E06cNv55jTs

     And they did.
     That link, by the way, is to the "Stingray" intro, which starts as it means to go on - with an explosion. Then you get Marineville going underground, missiles being erected, pylons exploding, physics-defying submarine leaping, an overflight at rooftop level by fighter jets, and a senior commander in what looks like a Sinclair C5 of the year 2055.

And of course, Marina. Er - no, hang on a minute -

  

* This does not, of course, apply to First Bus. They rarely appear at all.
** A little girl at that.
*** But, then, so do the voices in his head.
^ notice the hyphen ...
^^ Actually he was never knighted.  Don't worry, when I take over the world there will be some <ahem> retrospective re-titlings ...