There Are Lies, Damn Lies - And First Bus Timetables

Don't Feel Sorry For Them
They're big boys.  They can take it.  Overheard on the 180 into Manchester today - not my bus of choice but the 24 once again DIDN'T TURN UP - First are going to only run the 24 at peak times.
     Really?  Conrad's point here is that they don't bother to run them at peak times currently, so how are we to tell the difference?  And will they be rammed single-deckers as at present?  If there aren't any off-peak services, might they run more than one per half hour at peak times?

First Bus timetable, July Summer iteration

     I could send a letter to them and ask why, but, since we already know they determine bus scheduling by i) Consulting the leaves left at the bottom of their morning cuppa OR ii) poking around the entrails of a goat with a bit of stick OR iii) Asking the ghost of that German footballing octopus channelled via Jean Claude Van Damm, there wouldn't be a lot of point to it.
     Right, I feel better for that vent.  Let the motley begin!

You'd Better Watch Yourself, Facebook
Or, rather, the product you're trying to push/pimp/promote.  Not all of us are meek and mild Hom. Sap.  Art?  Produce the evidence.

Just to be clear: "Never underestimate a father who listens to Foo Fighters"

     I rather think you ought to worry more about a father who can blast you into a gaseous vapour with his laser eye-cannon.

     You have been warned.

Er - Did I Mention Statistics?
Of course stats are perfectly permissible if they  push/pimp/promote BOOJUM! I apologise for the fact that this particular set of devil-data are in reality a few days off, because I <coughcough> cheated last night and didn't post any fresh content*.  Enough preamble.  Art!

Bottom left - "1300"

     1,300 published posts since June 2013.  Surely that counts for something?  In fact there was a Comment added to that section, except I'm not sure what it refers to, only that it's not trying to promote escorts in Mumbai.
     The good news - or bad, depending on your perspective - is that Conrad still enjoys writing the blog, so it will continue.  Some of you may be reduced to wailing and rending of garments at this, which is perfectly fine as a response, just don't go rubbing ashes into your hair.  Not hygenic.

Holophernes
Another of those Just-Popped-Into-My-Head words that Oscar and Steve*** take gleeful delight in throwing into the mental mix, anarchists that they are.  Conrad vaguely associated his name with one of the more senior denizens of Hades.  But no!
     And here we trespass upon Religion, before moving onto giving Politics and Current Affairs a thorough shoeing.  Sue me, it's my blog.
     Ol' H. was a general of Nebuchadnezzar, who was pretty sure he was a god, according to the Bible.
     All well and good, you might say.  
     Ah - sadly not.  Neb, typically of self-proclaimed gods, decided that everyone else had to bow the knee and sent out an army under Ol' H. to <ahem> "persuade" folks thereby.  This led, eventually, to a siege of the Israelite town of Melelieh.  Things looked bad for the besieged: in those days if you were over-run after losing a siege you tended to get the chop, literally, or slavery if you were slightly luckier.
     Enter Judith, a widow, probably concealing a cleaver about her person.  She must have had something going for herself as she seduced Ol' H.
     Then she cut off his head.

"Judith Cutting Off The Head Of Holophernes"
Oh, I see.  I thought it might be "Wicked Servant Pouring Hot Candle Wax On Holophernes"

     Yes, probably taking her lessons in Interpersonal Relations right out of the Preying Mantis Guide To Romance.
     Collapse of siege, exit Neb's army stage left.
     The moral of this story is:  Beware that smiling lady attempting to charm you - she May be concealing a great big knife, which might also be poisonous if it has Som Lead in it^.

Since We're Being Political -
I think it's appropriate to throw this item in, copied from Twitter and posted by the incomparable Bruce Campbell.  Art?

Ash gets my vote!

     I'm afraid I had to kind of fudge the bottom of the text here as it had a very rude word in it, and you know how we here at BOOJUM! value our SFW status.  
     Oh, and that Latin motto Ash can't quite get?  "E Pluribus Unum" - "Out of many, one".

Finally -
As seen in the window of the Oxfam bookshop:

Add caption

     Because, honestly, how can things not go better with a little Norwegian crag-hopping?

Pip Pip!

*  My conscience troubled me terribly about this**.
**  Actually I'm lying.  It didn't.  Not one bit.
*** My subconscious and memory respectively.  Treacherous rascals.  Not to be trusted.
^  Ah, Satire, where is thy sting!