From Abstractual To Factual

I Don't Care If "Abstractual" Isn't In Webster's Dictionary -
 - it's my blog and I'll define reality as I see fit.  Occasionally reality does impinge on Conrad, sufficiently that he has to ignore the 24-hour party going on in his head and divert valuable attention to matters mundane.  Take the matter of You The Audience.
     Conrad's usual attitude to his audience is one of "You lot out there" as many of you are unlucky enough not to live on or in the Pond of Eden - which is remarkably pondllike today, even estuarine even - and thus our paths are unlikely to ever cross.
     It is a little dangerous to take visitors from granted like this, though, as some readers live rather close to home, and even manifest in the same office environment - like Tom.
     You remember Tom?  The X-Wing fighter pundit.  Luckily Conrad's word picture of him had merely implied a degree of geek graduation (a degreek?) rather than the wholly less flattering nabob of nerd. 

What's a nabob of nerd?  This chap is - Simon Quinlank

 So, when our paths crossed on Friday, Tom broodingly told - perhaps even warned - your modest artisan that he read the blog on a regular basis.
     I shall bear this in mind.  I do have a ready-made alibi to hand*:"I meant the other Tom i)  Sal's boyfriend OR ii) Noisy Tom.  This ought to work unless all three turn up at once.
     Enough of the wibbling - let the motley begin!


First Bus
As there has been a delay in posting fresh content here, this diatribe dates back to Thursday the 8th July.  However, as the truth in it will bear witness through the ages, I'm going to post it anyway.  For "Today" read "Thursday".  Thank you.
     Today's travel - pretty much the usual - single-decker at peak time, came early - and en route into Manchester we pass a double-decker heading outbound with all of three passengers aboard.
     Efficiency!  Ergonomics!  Passenger Comfort!

This is NOT a metaphor

     All count for naught when bus schedules are created by blindfold monkeys rolling dice and consulting the I Ching - for your humble scribe can think of no other explanation**.
     Nor is that all (O that it was!).  Our nervy driver likes his passengers and other road users to be in absolutely NO DOUBT that he is coming to a halt, so he puts both feet on the brake pedal and stands upright on it.  Inertia being what it is, the whole vehicle shudders fearfully and the rear wheels leave the road surface.
     Oh!  Look!  Another outbound 24 carrying exactly NO passengers!

A Little Light Relief
We can't keep having the grim and remorseless, can we?  Hang on, that sounds like an excellent title for a South Canadian soap opera from the HBO channel 'From the makers of "American Gothic" comes a rival to "Dark Shadows" - "The Grim and Remorseless" .'
     Sorry about going off at a tangent like that.  As I was saying.  Art?

The remaindered collection

     What a selection, eh?  You can't quite make it out from this distance and angle, but the "Family Pack" legend on the Polish frankfurters is rendered "Fanny pack" due to the label.  In this we refer of course to the South Canadian vulgarism for "bottom", as we are still SFW.
     Those great grey lumps of meat at the front bear a closer inspection.  They are haslet, a kind of seasoned meat loaf usually served in slices, which is what the packet on the right is.  The pack on the left is merely a vast hunk of unsliced meatloaf, with enough mass to break a toe were it to fall on your foot.
     
     - off to get some more Jasmine tea, which is more correctly "Fujian Angel's Touch Tea" and Dog Buns! it is nice -

Further Of Food
Well, tea, anyway "The cup that cheers and not inebriates" is a quote I remember from someone, and here's the FATT ready to brew in my dinky work's teapot:

     The liquor - the technical name for tea when it's brewed - is rather pale, even after it sits steeping for forty minutes.  It still carries plenty of flavour, however, so using enough tea leaves to produce a dark brown brew would probably have it strong enough to climb out of the pot and wrestle with you.
     Oh, and there's a bit more yet.  Art?

Snobbishly-expensive Darjeeling

     This will help to sustain your talented typist over the fallow weeks of no alcohol (I may have mentioned this teetotal phse in passing).  Don't go away as we have still more - 

MORE tea!

    I realise these teas lack the trainwreck fascination of "Bum Wines", though they are both cheaper and better for your liver, and you will never wake up in a gutter at 2:30 a.m. covered in vomit with a shoe gone missing after drinking a whole pot of Chai.
     Mind you, if you do, then I blame your lifestyle not the drink.

     More to come later!


*  I'm sneaky that way.  It's why people are scared of me.
**  Sadism?  Black magic?  Both?