Rain Pain. AGAIN!

One Of The Few Good Things About The British Weather - 
 - is that we will never lack for subject matter when it comes to breaking the ice with strangers, although currently in the Lake of Eden* "breaking the ice" ought to be substituted with "splashing in the puddles".
     Today is no exception, except in degree.  When I say "degree", your humble scribe is of course referring to matters of scale, not temperature.  Ha!  Temperature.  As if.
     Anyway, today at work I looked out into the murk and it was impossible to separate the sky from the horizon.  Art?

     You can't tell where the world starts or stops, can you?  
     "Ah, Conrad, old brute, that's just fog," I hear you mockingly retort.  "Fog and nothing else but."
     Art?

Nope.  Not fog

     It's rain, oh thou incapable of telling a sensitive soul from a piece of shoe leather.  Rain, which reminded me of a particular horror film website.  Art?

"Quiet Earth"

     Startlingly similar, don't you think?  Not quite as evocative in real life, ta very much, thanks to the sheer sogginess soughing softly from the skies in a susurruss of squelch.
     Okay, that's the Intro over, let's once again let the phantasy loose under strict adult guidance, stabilisers and kneepads.

BOOJUM! Takes A Swing At Films
You know the rules by now - there are none.  Next!
     Zootropolis:  Or, if you wanted to be technical about it, "Zoologicalgardentropolis", which is a bit of a mouthful (we shall come back to this).  Let me guess - it's all about cutesy animated animals living in a zoo, being all lovey-dovey and nicey-wicey to one other.  They get fed regularly so they don't have to RIP EACH OTHER TO BITS, for such is nature in the wild.  Red in tooth and claw, which the studio suits dilute down to "Read in tooth and claw" because these animals are literate! if they don't end up with "Bread in tooth and claw" and turn the tigers vegan.  Bah!

Close enough

     Nine Lives:  Let me guess again.  A film about nine of the most influential artists of the Modern era, beginning with Michelangelo and ending with Jim (of 'Jim'll Paint It'), featuring a portfolio of their biggest ach -
     - what's that?  Cats?  It's about CATS?
     Bah!

Well, okay, cats might be a bit - er - cuter

     Suicide Squad: What a bunch of sleazy, cheesy and - given that they all look to be on at least 40-per-day - wheezy slubberdegullions** this mob look like.  
     "Oh boy, cue apoplectic rant from the old duffer any second now," I overhear you whiser.  "Any second now.  Any second."
     I would like to point out -
     "Any second now, I bet this is it, get your tin hats ready!"
     - thank you, but in fact I don't -
     "Here it comes, I warned you!  Gas masks and hazmat suits prepped!"
     - if you will stop interrupting I -
     "Any second now!  Any-'
     WILL YOU KINDLY SHUT UP!  SHUT UP! 

No, I do not have a problem with your dress code.  

     Thank you.  In actual fact Conrad approves of the Grim Grunge Aesthetic because forcing a uniform look on this lot - well, if these killers, crazies, fruit-loops and duck soups feel like looking cheap and nasty, who amongst you is brave enough to challenge them?
     Precisely.
     The concept behind "Suicide Squad" reminds me of another film -

"Play Dirty"
Conrad, given his innate evil, cynical and ice cream obsessed nature, would like point you towards this film, wherein a suicide squad of convicts led by Michael Caine SPOILER!!! unwittingly decoys for the real team of far cleaner-cut soldiers.  Art?

Codename:  Palmer.  Harry Palmer!***

     It's set in North Africa just before the Battle of Alamein, which automatically gets it a thumbs-up from your humble scribe.  Beware - no happy ending!

"We've had a vote.  From now on, in the mess, we pass the port to left and right."

     The irony is that the scruffy motley criminals succeed where the dashing professionals fail utterly.  I know I didn't put "Spoiler" there but it is nearly 50 years old.

Talking Of Suicide Squads -
Conrad also remembers "The Holocaust Squad", from 200AD and Judge Dredd.  This is a squad of volunteer Judges who can be assigned to jobs where the probability of living to collect your next pay is nil.  For example, when Power Tower^ was dynamited by Father Earth's^ Doomsday Dogs^, rendering it a volcano in the middle of Mega City One^, it was the Holocaust Squad who got dropped in to tackle this little problem.  Art?


     


*  Upgraded from "Pond".  Just so you know.
** I stole this from "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" because I like the sound of it.
*** Not many of you will get this.  I don't care, I know how funny I am.
^  Go read the comic!