Super Furry Animals

No!  Not The Band
Allow me to begin with a bit of a diversion - you ought to be used to this by now  - because after all what do you need fur for, if not to combat the exigencies of the weather?  
     Recall, if you can, the film "Black Dynamite" and the lead character Black Dynamite's* condemnation of betrayal as "Kung Fu treachery!" except his delivery was a lot more impressive than mine.
     Conrad can sympathise - here in the Pond of Eden we get to experience what I dub "Weather Treachery" where one cannot guess what things weatherish will be like in 30 minutes from now, never mind late afternoon and the swim to the bus stop, although for "swim" you can substitute "sandal", "swelter" or - not that unusual - "sledge".

Rain is lying in ambush -

  Although the weather is mild and balmy now, you cannot use this as a basis for clothing.  As an example, Tom (the quiet one who's not yet reported back on "Forbidden Planet") put up a post on Facebook about walking to work in a thunderstorm - forbidding indeed as the sun was shining and there were no clouds around in Conrad's part of the Pond.  This generally means I cannot risk NOT wearing a coat, even if this means arriving at work resembling a 6 foot self-basting chicken.

Help!  Help!  There's A Beetle On My Mouse -
And so there is.  Art?

     I speak nothing but the truth**.  This is a Kinder Egg toy, which Rachel said had been sitting on her desk for days, so your humble scribe swiftly took possession, briefly doing a "Vrrrrmm vvvvrrrmmm rrreeeyow!" test drive before eyes were directed and eyebrows raised.  Mister Hand claims they're just jealous.

AAAAGH!
The horror, the horror!  
     "What can it be?" I hear you wonder.  "Surely for pure horror nothing can match a beetle on a mouse?"
     Oh no?  Cast your glazzies over this -

     My ice cream, melted into glop!  And I was so looking forward to it.
     Bah!

P-Zombies
No!  Nothing to do with The Walking Dead!  Put on a pointy hat and sit in the corner!
     I'll have you know this is a concept out of philosophy, meaning a being who cannot be distinguished externally from a normal human being but who lacks sentience.  The "P" in the title stands for "Philosophical".

PP-Zombies.  Close enough

     And not the kind of item you'd expect to hear in a sci-fi podcast, except it did crop up on "Mission Log" when they were analysing "Night Terrors", and 

     DAMN IT!

That was the last of my strawberry ice cream, turned to glop!

     - John and Ken used it to refer to characters with no internal monologue, not a situation familiar to your humble scribe, who usually has two or three monologues and at least another duologue going on in his head.  I suppose at a stretch it could be applied to couch potatoes, especially those ones who watch reality television all the time.

"Hardcore Henry" - A BOOJUM! Review
As in the style of the recent "The Force Awakens" review, except this one was done in the cinema so it is a more concise model, and don't forget it's dark in there.

     DOG BUNS!

Still reliving the horror

     Okay, you know the drill by now - full speed ahead, Spoilers a-plenty, no refunds, children under 12 shouldn't be reading this anyway which make you a terrible parent -

     "Green Room.  Bastille Day - eh what?  No, sorry, these were the trailers.  Start again."

     "Robot head.  Tank.  Lab.  Escape from orbit.  Punching bat!  Sharlto - o he's dead, that was a short cameo.  Dress change.  Parkeur.  Chasing.  Sticky.  Sharlto's back again, even though he was dead before.  Oh well, I'm sure it'll all be explained.  Booster pump.  Mad motorbike pursuit with guns and explosions (in fact just assume everything comes with guns and explosions). 

One of the  quieter more subdued moments

 Sword versus tank - hang on, where did that tank come from?  Sword wins.  Jimmy's lair - ah, Sharlto back from the dead again. Henry's constitution - that is, his make up.  Which is to say, he's mostly robot. Hotel assault:  Goal - rescue the cripple.  Who had 4 avatars.  No, nothing to do with James Cameron. 

One of the avatars

 Assault on Arkan.  Rooftop battle against ridiculous odds.  

A big brawl

Henry's wife is really - Arkans!
     Well, that's only Henry left alive.  The end."

     I hope that clears up any misunderstanding.  In fact, I recall it being said of "Hard Boiled" that it was the most violent, gun-crazy action film ever made; Hard Boiled, hand over your crown to Henry.

     NO!  "More room left in the freezer now" is NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

(Muted sobbing in the background)

     I realise I've not gone over the furry animals bit, so just have patience please.


*  I think this naming is deliberate, not lazy scriptwriting.
**  Sometimes.