Ravings From The Potrisonic Brain

Cheer Up, It Could Be Worse!
They might remake "Ghostbusters" with an all-female cast - oh, no, wait, that really happened, didn't it?  I thought I was dreaming.  Nightmaring.
     Actually I should be careful wishing for things, "Potri" is apparently a real thing, a first name in Malaya - for girls.  "Sonic" we all know and love as being what comes out of an i-pod.  Currently this is "Quiet Village".
     Okay, onto the Intro, and today Conrad focusses his beady electronic eyes on Mad Scientists.  Why?  Why not!
     The question surely on your lips every waking moment is "What motivates a mad scientist?" which is a short query with a very long answer.  Which is good, I have a word count to hit.

     Typically your Mad Scientist falls into one of two groups:  1)  Benign or 2)  Outright Evil.  For the former, imagine Doctor Emmett Brown from "Back to the Future" and for the latter - Rotwang of "Metropolis".  If benign then we tend to see them played to comic effect; if evil then we're in horror movie territory.
     "But Conrad!" I hear you verbally contest.  "What about the simply amoral - like Viktor Frankenstein?"
     Yes, Ol' Vik creates life because he can, not out of a wish to conquer the world, except look at the body count!  Besides, hubris is still a sin.  I think you'll find that 'amoral' gradually shades into 'immoral' and we're back in that horror film.  Besides, Doctor Moreau did his vivisections because he could, and I don't see his island on the Thomas Cook list of "Top 10 Resorts To Visit Before You Die" <ahem> "Top 10 Resorts To Visit".

Moreau's island paradise

     For a literary version, see anything featuring Professor Branestawm, eccentric genius who wouldn't harm a fly.  Nor a human being, either (I had to stick that in there for the cynical and hair-splitting amongst you).  Don't forget Uncle Quentin of Enid Blyton's "Famous Five" novels masterworks, either.  Who can forget his absent-mindedly trying to eat soup gone rotten and green after being left for weeks!
     You could even add Doctor Who of the Third variety to the Benign list, as he was always tinkering (anti-gravity Model T, anyone?) although always to a positive end.

Bessy - 0-150 mph in 7 seconds

     For the prototype Evil Mad Scientist, look no further than Rotwang, as mentioned above.  He's so evil he invents a wicked robot that - er - dances topless?  And - and  - erm - it adopts a hologram disguise of the saintly Maria in order to <thinks hard> i) Take over the world ii) eat all the pies?  or iii)  bag all the sunbeds*?

Rotwang (plus robot)
Demonstrating "How To Scare Cats The Mark Kermode Way"

     Enough of Mad Science!  Let the phaeton of phantasy be carefully trotted forward under strict adult supervision -

"Lion Rampant" By Robert Woollcombe
I picked this off the shelves at the Oxfam bookshop, wondering if I'd already got it, although at a quick glimpse it didn't seem familiar.  I have read it, ages ago, and here's a coincidence for you.  Art?

     A broad outline map of the battalion that Robert belonged to and where it went.  The inset map reveals the following:

s'Hertogenbosch!

     The town of s'Hertogenbosch is where your humble scribe spent the summer of 1982, working in a Dutch pickle factory.  See the line of the River Maas?  That's where a high embankment runs along the river's edge, upon which Conrad ran in the middle of a thunderstorm, which, as a local pointed out, is pretty stupid.  It's the highest point for miles around and the one place lightning can be guaranteed to strike.
     Still, here I am.

Goodbye Jerry Doyle
Sad to say, Mr Doyle passed away this week.  You (and I) will be more familiar with him as Michael Garibaldi, the no-nonsense Security Chief aboard Babylon 5, with a human touch.  Art?

Those pursed lips pronounce "Don't try me.  Punk"

     Jerry was one of those people who make an abrupt transition from one job to another, utterly different one.  Previously a civilian jet pilot, he then went into stockbroking before becoming an actor, and after B5 ended he kept busy by being a radio talk-show host.  Art?

Proof

I Say, Who's This?
I shall answer my own question, because you'd never get it.  Gordon Corrigan, is who, and by the look of it still in the Army.  Art?

The Major

     Author of "Mud, Blood and Poppycock", a scathing swingeing look at myths and half-truths of the First Unpleasantness, and a worthwhile read.  He also pops up on The History Channel as a talking head on matters military, which makes sense.  Potato growing or butterfly nomenclature, probably not so sensible, but the Army, fine.

Finally -
No summer barbecue is complete without a Dalek Exterior Grill!

Caution; never leave unsupervised (or world conquest a risk)

*  Hideously unfair Teutonic stereotype.  Soz.