24

No!  This Is Not A "Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy" Misprint
Nor is it yet a reference to Jack Bauer and the CTU.  Although, to paraphrase a Tweet I've just twitted, it is a subject matter equally full of rage, despair, betrayal, disappointment and insufficient seat space.
     Yes, the First Bus number 24 bus service.  As of yesterday First declared it would only run at "peak times", which apparently doesn't include Saturday or Sunday, and in fact means 4 services in the morning from Rochdale and 5 from Manchester in the evening, down from over 40 combined.
     Oh well.  It never used to appear at peak times anyway, so how will we tell the difference?

"Driver!  Out of the cab!  Assume the position!  I'll drive this damn service MYSELF!"

     This morning it did come on time - o Divine Wonder! - and it was a double-decker - get out of here, First Bus, you're spoiling us! - but no Metro, again.  Manisha came to the rescue yesterday with a copy, can we count on her to manage the same today?  Dog Buns!  Don't these jackanapes realise Conrad's intellect requires a slow beginning to the day?  
     Actually I bet they do, the sadistic swine.  I can just see Hecubah* and Baphomet* (First Bus Metro-stocking staff in Rochdale Bus Station) laughing to themselves:
     HECUBAH:  "Enriching the passenger experience".
     BAPHOMET: Eh?  What? <sets fire to a stack of Metros>
     H:  That's what it says, here, on this card they gave me.
     B:  Let me see that <puts 10 Metros down a drain>  Ah, that's unwarranted management interference, that is.
     H:  What should I do with it?
     B:  Bin it.  Here, gimme <adds to a stack of Metros and dumps in a builder's skip>
     H:  How does that enhance the passenger experience, Baff?
     B:  Now they have to talk to each other, see?  <throws a stack of Metros in the River Roch>.  Breaks the ice, dunnit.
     H:  O Baff you are so wise.  And it'll really annoy that Conrad chap.  No crossword for him!
     B:  You bet.  It'll make him have to be, like, creative <rips Metros apart and puts them in a Shoe Bank>.
     H:  What about Kindles 'n' stuff, though?
     B:  <Gestures to enormous electronic doodad behind them> For them we got "Aspidistra" - the worlds largest jammer of mobiles and electronic digital media.
     H:  If I were a woman I'd want to have your babies -
     B:  Er - Heck - you are a woman ...
     - at which point discretion draws a veil o'er the proceedings.

     At this point yesterday I gingerly declared the Intro to be done with; since we have had bad luck with motleys and gallimaufreys of late, what with metaphorical and analogical impacts and wheels coming off, it was then time to delicately trot out the Persiflage.  With a picture of a Pantechnicon to aid your mind's eye.
     Alas!  Disaster struck.  In re-sizing the image, Conrad inadvertantly picked it up as a formatting tool - wherever he put the cursor, there a Persiflage Pantechnicon appeared, with the caption.  Potentially 30 minutes work down the drain - Dog Buns!  So I had to quit out and get back into Blogger, pasting the article to that point, which (phew!) worked.
      So today you can have spindizzy whistle.

With apologies to James Blish

Of Food
Yes it's true, loup garou.  Conrad has the reputation of eating anything - honourable exceptions of pineapple and parnip aside - and to prove it today he dined on Polish Mackerel - Art?

Sterilised!  It says so on the label.

     And Polish Garlic Sausage, once again Art?

Delicous but smelly.  According to other folk

     Followed by Polish Sesame Snaps.  Art?

Yeah, daddy-oh.

     And finally finished off tonight with pickled mushrooms that Manisha, princess amongst women, got your humble scribe in return for swapping shifts.

Delicious.  Simply that.

Those Wicked Neglectful Humans!
Ah yes, we were at it again, or, more properly, not at it.  "It" being "Entertaining Edna", although "Walking Edna", "Feeding Edna", or "Being A Human-shaped Cushion For Edna" would also suit.
     Behold the Despondent Deserted Dog -

Looking desperately for affection.  Or food.  Or both.

     Oh, and what a difference we see, what a transformation when a Salt & Vinegar Curl becomes available.  Almost faster than the human eye -

Don't panic, I still have all my fingers.

     Well now, here we are at count.  And I had so much more to entertain you with - Uwe Boll's accounts, cannon and why you should love your local Mad Scientist.


*  Really, really evil parents