Although I like the sound of it <thinks - can I find a relevant picture?>
What's this? A second blog on a weekday?
Well, yes, actually. You see I'm both on leave and a fearfully self-promoting windbag*. So, as I have material - no trouble with my Nonsense-Generating Intellect - and time, what better way to render a double whammy to the world?
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| Velocirupture. Someone somewhere decided that Veloci needed a bit more - rupture. |
BOOJUM! - A Writer Writes
No, not Agatha Christie - me! I'm the writer. Do you want to know how the blog is created?
Tough! You're going to learn. Whose blog is it?
NO! It's mine, not - o let's just get on with it.
Ideas and observations get scribbled down in here, from which items get elaborated and detailed after a check on the internet. If research is needed this takes up time; the Sergio Leone tribute took ages to write because it was long, factual and accurate - Conrad lives in fear of getting it wrong and some Commenter bringing this to light and gloating -
- where was I?
O yes. The blog tends to concentrate on repeated episodes - of late this has been spoof Doctor Who or Star Trek titles, and when these are exhausted another theme will be selected. What? No idea.
Then there are the topical photographs, such as this:
That's Sweet Potato and Corned Beef Hash, and very tasty it was too.
Of course if Conrad was lazy he'd just post a long string of photos or pictures cribbed off Google, with a caption, making a word count of 50 look good. E.g.
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| Hilarity ensues! Oh alright, it doesn't. |
So there you have it. The creative process.
A Little Musical Critique
Well, it's a bittersweet moment as I look to you, Royksopp, and your album "The Inevitable End" (Simon and Garfunkel sigh in relief). Let us analyse the opening track "Skulls", shall we? On with the motley -
"If you wanna ride with us tonight"
Why, that would be splendid. Thank you Svein and Torbjorn.
"If you wanna ride with us tonight"
Excuse me? I already -
"We will be the hands that lift you up and we will be"
Lads, lads, I weight seventeen stone, you'll put your backs out -
"The hands that hold you high"
Don't you bloody dare to drop me!
"We will make you say our name forever"
Forever? Not even stopping to eat or sleep?
"We will make you want another try"
Throwing me around and babbling endlessly? I will not try that again!
"If you wanna ride"
No. Not any more.
"Skulls!"
You two are on drugs, aren't you?
The CD Uploading Process -
I've uploaded 40 of the CD windfall I got, leaving only another 21 to go. At this rate I might get it done by Friday. The evidence basket:
The horizontal ones remain to be done. By the time I've uploaded all these, then added them to my i-pod and listened to them, it'll be next payday and - I can buy even more! Although I will have to have the i-pod with me to remember what I've got.
The Museum Of The Manchesters
I could do a whole article on this alone, but I shall be selective and only post this***:
These pieces of medieval-looking kit are "trench clubs", which the chaps of the Manchesters would have used to beat seven shades of snot out of their German opponents in trench raids. There is a thriving market in manufacturing fake trench clubs, SO! Ensure you obtain yours from a reputable vendor.
This is the Vickers Medium Machine Gun, a.k.a. "The Sewing Machine From Hell". It is a monstrously heavy piece of kit; as you can see it consists of a massive tripod, the gun itself, a water jacket, condenser can, ammunition box and clinometer sights. As long as you put water in the jacket and oil in the works, this monster would fire until you ran out of ammunition or enemies.
There was an educational film showing three soldiers expertly setting up their Vickers in thirty seconds flat, and another one in which they were plainly enjoying themselves being as cack-handed as possible.
I'm not sure if this comes out properly, but it's a slide-rule for working out stuff like range, bearing, elevation, windage, etc. and I include it because the slide-rule was rendered extinct by the pocket calculator back in the early Seventies.
Velocirapture
This came up originally when I Googled.
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| Some people - |
* You may have noticed the latter already.
** Except when he doesn't. Again, whose blog is it? Thank you.
***Tonight. Don't think you're not getting the whole experience!
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